How We Lie to Ourselves

Comments: 622

  • Max Awesom
    Max Awesom 2 hours ago

    oh damn this was uncomfortable to watch

  • Jatin Verma
    Jatin Verma 3 hours ago

    This is this cat
    This is is cat
    This is how cat
    This is to cat
    This is keep cat
    This is an cat
    This is idiot cat
    This is busy cat
    This is for cat
    This is thirty cat
    This is seconds cat
    Now go back and read third word of each sentence ....

  • ADORADOR De jesus
    ADORADOR De jesus 8 hours ago

    school of life carisma

  • Nillabasco E.H.
    Nillabasco E.H. 10 hours ago

    9,000 a year?? More like 20 thousand a year in the states.

  • Alessy Panda
    Alessy Panda 12 hours ago

    i agree with this idea, all points. one thing appart, i do wish the editor/writer hadnt written in "orgy sex" . it could possibly send the message of no means yes. sorry but had to mention. i think a better example would have been anything else. but still, all the points were right on and i appreciate these videos completely

  • csenge varkonyi
    csenge varkonyi Day ago +1

    I always say I love being single, maybe I secretly desire to be in a relationship

  • alexkaapa
    alexkaapa Day ago

    nice! marimekko cup!

  • Shannen Canton
    Shannen Canton Day ago

    I can so relate to the girl talking about how disgusting orgies are holy shit I have to stop myself

  • Pree Dem
    Pree Dem Day ago

    SIMPLIFY YOUR FUCKING WORDING. Apart from that you are an amazing channel.

  • Nazimilian Music

    *belügen . (?)

    • Lua Veli
      Lua Veli Day ago

      Die Übersetzung wird automatisch von youtube gemacht. Darum sieht es so komisch aus...Schönen Tag noch :- )

  • Kesh Andrew
    Kesh Andrew Day ago +1

    The School of Life is not thanked enough for such incredible videos.

  • David Schmid
    David Schmid 2 days ago

    As much as I like your videos, they make me want to commit suicide. It's all so true

  • Lincoln Souphabsila
    Lincoln Souphabsila 2 days ago +1

    What is the name of the song?

  • Eddie Merkus
    Eddie Merkus 2 days ago

    We can't know what is real until we stand outside the world as it is.

  • Charles Joseph
    Charles Joseph 2 days ago

    She's back!

  • Joanna
    Joanna 2 days ago +1

    I had the volume all the way up when the moaning started and my family thought I was watching porn. So embarrassing 😭

  • Oedelin Jean
    Oedelin Jean 2 days ago

    what if you like big butt... and you cannot lie.

  • Lua Veli
    Lua Veli 2 days ago

    1. My mother loves to talk about her prison days in Mecca!

    I am so sorry that she ended up in jail back then, but frankly, it was all her fault. But there is something very charming and interesting about the way she denies it. Of course, the lies we tell ourselves are always more beautiful than the reality they replace.
    So my mother doesn't obey any rules she herself hadn't set. That's why on that journey she didn't care that her visa was expired. She wanted to stay longer , so she did. One day she got assaulted by two thieves.

    Then the police came and the thieves accused my mother of being the thief! She doesn't speak Arabic, so she couldn't defend herself.
    She didn't even had her passport with her so they took her to jail. Imagine to be locked up in a foreign country where you don't know anybody! Besides, she had no idea how long she was going to stay there.

    But she was convinced that it was all organised by God, for her to have the experience, to meet the people there, to suffer, to endure and to prove her faith to Him no matter what disasters life brings.
    Some days later a man from the Turkish embassy visited her in prison. She explained to him that she was innocent. And when he asked her how she was doing she said:

    " I am very fine. I am observing the people here."

    Two weeks later she got out, escorted by the police to the airport and sent back home to Turkey.
    Imagine how humiliating all this can be, for a woman in her sixties.. But she went through all that like the hero of a drama extra written for her by God.

    Unfortunately I am not a believer, but I do envy all the possibilities of consolation, that the believers have. My mother will never have to ask:

    " Why me ?".

    Instead she will firmly say:

    " Precisely me" , because God wanted it for me.

    Oh and in my case, I could only say: " Why NOT me ? Anything can happen to me anytime....And as Seneca says: A ship may also sink at the port...."

    Well, indeed, if it doesn't hurt anybody, sometimes, it may be alright to avoid the truth. I would never recommend my mother my approach. If a person successfully deludes herself, and you have nothing better to offer her instead, you may also let that be. Of course on this channel there is a great lesson on this subject too:

    " Can lying ever be kind"

    In some strange cases like my mother's, this may even apply to the lies we tell ourselves...

    2. And here is the joke I love the most on this subject:

    " So there is this guy who suspects that his wife cheats on him. He hires a private detective to find out what's going on. After one week of a business trip he comes back and asks to the detective:
    - So what have you seen?
    - Sir, the first day when you were gone, your wife met this very handsome young man. And then they went to a fancy restaurant. After that they went to see a movie. After the movie, late at night, they went to your place , right to your bedroom. Then they hugged each other.
    - And then ??
    - Then they closed the curtains.
    So the husband says:
    - God damn it! You pay a fortune to a private detective and even then, you can't be absolutely sure!!

    3. The best cure for this is Alain de Botton's "Philosophical Meditation". You must watch the video they have made about it.

    Sorry that this comment got out of control and became too long :- )

    Thank you for this very valuable lesson!

  • burgerischeap
    burgerischeap 2 days ago +1

    3:50 be happy man at least she did not say "is it because you are a male and I am a female"

  • burgerischeap
    burgerischeap 2 days ago +3

    this is sick, like too much overcomplicating life! take it easy folks, let people live natural how they are

  • capamb389
    capamb389 2 days ago

    This hurts

  • Elynnewith2N
    Elynnewith2N 2 days ago

    damn it, it's been a long time frankly said, but this is brilliant

  • Elizabeth Isabelle
    Elizabeth Isabelle 2 days ago

    5:07 i am that guy

  • Aalap D
    Aalap D 2 days ago

    This is the worst dinner party in all of history.

  • Geoff Bournes
    Geoff Bournes 2 days ago

    Yeah.. I see it in people especially the defense part. It does take ove the ENTIRE space in the conversation. I just leave people to learn and SEE just like I have to. I stopped lying to MYSELF a WHILE ago. I love change too much for that. People REALLY don't want to HEAR the truth anyway even when they say they do

  • Bache
    Bache 2 days ago

    Your most important video yet..., imo. And I'm a big fan who finds alot of the work produced here critical.

  • KeyMan
    KeyMan 2 days ago Video Indirme Linki

  • Odin
    Odin 3 days ago

    "Wear your headphones befor playing the video"

  • Magnus Error
    Magnus Error 3 days ago

    Im glad that I was born not really having many problems. I dont as far as I can tell lie to myself with this sort of stuff. My friend is the same.

  • TrustZ
    TrustZ 3 days ago

    I love this video. But, I have one flaw with it. As I do love to hear the truth of our flaws, I also appreciate knowing how to fix them. After all, this is the "school" of life.

  • MilkPudding
    MilkPudding 3 days ago

    I think the example to no. 4 is being unfair.

  • John Thomson
    John Thomson 3 days ago

    Thanks for calling out these lies. Well done.

  • donnysoul
    donnysoul 3 days ago

    wtf was just watching porn then saw this video

  • Namjoon's Ryan Pajamas

    Sometimes I know exactly what I'm lying to myself about and why but I do it anyways

  • Athena botbol
    Athena botbol 3 days ago

    9,000 a year... Americans are jealous

  • Tomas Maldonado
    Tomas Maldonado 3 days ago

    School of Life, thank you for using proper grammar.

  • Parnian
    Parnian 3 days ago

    So the girl who finds group sex weird is really hiding how much she really likes to experience that?! Come on school of life you’re better than that!

  • Lukas Oberfrank
    Lukas Oberfrank 3 days ago

    As always, great video. Especially in this one, I think the chosen piece of music fits perfectly.

  • John Martin
    John Martin 3 days ago

    What if the people who made this video were lying to themselves? And in pretending to help other people were merely setting out to prove themselves superior to their victims.

  • Colin Lyons
    Colin Lyons 3 days ago

    This video lacks any human 🎉 to make it fun. It comes off as highly cold and academic. Look at The Big Short in terms of how to make complex ideas entertaining to watch.

    • Colin Lyons
      Colin Lyons 3 days ago

      Mario_MarioPlushGUY obviously

    • Mario_MarioPlushGUY
      Mario_MarioPlushGUY 3 days ago +1

      Colin Lyons Perhaps you're just not sophisticated enough to fully understand the video.

  • Sofía Hourcade
    Sofía Hourcade 3 days ago

    Music by?

  • DJ Joe
    DJ Joe 3 days ago

    Ok a couple of questions 1 how do you know if you're lying to yourself and if you are how do you stop it

    • LoveAndSnapple
      LoveAndSnapple Day ago

      Maybe when you speak a statement but your feelings say otherwise. And within those feelings you feel twinges, a disharmony, a discord that what you're saying doesn't mirror how you feel. To stop it you have to be honest with yourself and realize that you are an imperfect being. You will never be perfect, but it would help to start living in your truth.

  • Sean Burton
    Sean Burton 3 days ago

    This has been the most relevant, beautiful and brutally honest thing I've seen to date.

  • anywherein12seconds
    anywherein12seconds 3 days ago +1

    The School of Life is a huge step forward in human society. It teaches us all the important things that public institutions failed to.

  • CobaltLobo
    CobaltLobo 3 days ago

    I respect how they show that pornography is a real problem. it's a huge thing so many people are addicted to and some people don't even feel shame anymore cause they've lied to themselves and others have lied to them for so long making them think​ it's acceptable. it's a shame that porn is a thing, I appreciate them showing that it's not something to take lightly and really effects people's lives in many ways

  • Michael De Santa
    Michael De Santa 3 days ago +2

    Damn! Everybody looked at me when those porn noises began, and I had to explain that its just an School Of life video

  • Stuart
    Stuart 3 days ago

    I know this will sound arrogant, but I see a lot of these traits in the people I hang around with and not in myself. I couldn't really find much to relate to in this video other than the fact it was a hell of an awkward gathering lol

  • Stuart
    Stuart 3 days ago

    I don't watch porn to lie to myself about anything, I watch porn because I'm single lmao. I'm FULLY aware of that fact too, so it's all good.

  • Lexie Liben
    Lexie Liben 3 days ago

    When you think you are going to watch an educational video but then 30 seconds in there are porn sounds and you gotta very quickly lower your sound lmao

  • Fernando Romera
    Fernando Romera 3 days ago

    These theatrical performances are my favourite content in the channel.

    M. HUMMADI 3 days ago

    now that's what i cal PRODUCTIVE ENTERTAINMENT.

  • Carlos M.Aliaga
    Carlos M.Aliaga 3 days ago

    Enlightening !

  • jaik Duhamel
    jaik Duhamel 3 days ago

    why group sex as an example ?!

    • Lua Veli
      Lua Veli 3 days ago

      Hi Jaik. Thanks a lot for taking the time. You are right, it is alright to feel disgusted, of course. I gave the wrong example. But still, if you watch that part again, she even says that it is " abuse of power" which is absurd. I grew up in a super strickt Muslim family and I am not into that kind of stuff either. But still, I don't have a super strong emotional reaction to it. If some people are into it and if nobody is hurt, it is all fine.
       Oh thank you for the information. Alain is the person from whom I have learnt the most on earth. I have read most of his books including " How to think more about sex".
      If you wish, just watch his speech on that book. There is nothing perverse or disturbing in it. I thought it was a very wise and tender book.
      Have a nice weekend.

    • jaik Duhamel
      jaik Duhamel 3 days ago

      Hi Lua, first thanks for taking time to answer :)
      Well as I see you're not familiar with Alain de Botton works and books. My
      question is rhetorical I wasn't expecting an answer ,but since you brought
      it I have a to say that I disagree with your point that "When you
      overreact to something, it is a sign that your reaction is more about an
      unexamined issue within you" the example here is very sensitive you
      know , and it was made on purpose she can be disgusted and still be
      totally normal disgust is a natural human feeling especially if a
      subject challenges our believe or vision of things then our brain get
      alerted and we get overwhelmed agitated angry , and through this feelings
      we get to a conclusion either accepting or rejecting and closing the
      file, the Unnatural is to be cold vis a vis ideas and situations that
      challenge us and that's not normal because it doesn't give a chance for
      self-growth and it's a bit unhuman, you should read Alain de Botton and his philosophy of
      sexual liberation that's why i disliked the subjectivity of the example, btw he's the founder of the school of life .

    • Lua Veli
      Lua Veli 3 days ago

      Hello Jaik. The example by itself isn't so important you know. They just used it to show us the girl's over-reaction to it. She could have simply said that she herself is not into that, but it is alright if other people are. Instead, she kept talking about how disgusting and meaningless it is etc. When you over -react to something, it is a sign that your reaction is more about an unexamined issue within you, rather than the issue that is being discussed. I guess that was the point.
      Have a nice weekend :- )

  • Alvaroeduardo
    Alvaroeduardo 3 days ago

    I needed this. Thanks

  • honifit
    honifit 3 days ago

    Very helpful and insightful. I'm always trying to learn about myself, I do lie to myself but I usually end up at some point facing my truth.

  • kswannie
    kswannie 3 days ago

    nice dinner party

  • Eli Urns
    Eli Urns 3 days ago

    people who do all of this probably hit the dislike buttonXDDD

  • Akash Satpathy
    Akash Satpathy 3 days ago

    Does anybody know the name of the piano score being played in the background?

  • blackchang1981
    blackchang1981 3 days ago +1

    I love these.

  • Israa Galal
    Israa Galal 4 days ago

    This video is freaking me out. How can I trust anything anybody says around me now lol

  • AGBasketBall
    AGBasketBall 4 days ago

    GREAT video

  • Bollog Nyessy
    Bollog Nyessy 4 days ago

    GREAT video but please don't use the phrase "in and of itself".

  • daweller
    daweller 4 days ago +1

    Watching school of life is the sort of addiction this video warns of

  • Frosty Alaska
    Frosty Alaska 4 days ago

    Nerotypicals are weird glad the US government made me autistic with vaccines the measles in my stomach suck but atleast my thoughts arent clouded in useless emotion

  • Sloth420
    Sloth420 4 days ago +1


  • Sırket
    Sırket 4 days ago

    I wish if you can write the transcript below so we can read and contemplate on it on our own ... I love all videos of this kind ... thank you

  • Matt Reynolds
    Matt Reynolds 4 days ago

    I try to be as honest and brutal when I take a look at myself, like today I looked in the mirror and realized I am truly handsome and great looking. It wasn't an easy thing to do but it needed to be done. And when I told my girl she was to fat and making me look bad, it was out of pure love and she will thank me one day. And when I treated myself to a steak dinner I let her watch me eat it for motivation, so next time she could enjoy a good meal after losing a few pounds. I am always doing stuff for other people. I'm a giver in every way☺

  • Cameron B
    Cameron B 4 days ago

    It's okay, I only get addicted to thing I like.

  • Paula Jones
    Paula Jones 4 days ago

    I hear myself doing this. “I would have been a terrible parent anyway” or “it doesn’t matter what I want as long as you’re happy, I’m happy. “

  • Jayme Capurso
    Jayme Capurso 4 days ago

    Such well executed examples of the topics, Im the addiction one and can 100% agree its for the reasons highlighted here.....Not that it is going to make me change my behaviour because there's not much I can do to fix what I don't want to face so it's on with the scotch arm curls I go.

  • Kyla Morcozo
    Kyla Morcozo 4 days ago

    I've been avoiding/lying...but now that I realized that I'm having this crisis...I am skeptical i'd be able to pull myself out as I've been too far deep in my safe hole for far too long

  • Giorgia
    Giorgia 4 days ago

    I was almost about to cry

  • theandy4ever
    theandy4ever 4 days ago

    I know the things I lie myself about. I know I'm censoring or throwing away specific thoughts. It's more beneficial some might say. I can't change the world so why think about it

  • Whatblouboat Spanish juarez

    Stop lying it's part of the growing up,I suppose

  • Whatblouboat Spanish juarez

    They all good lies😁😬😬

  • Channel for Positivity l Understanding l Justice

    If only more people could and would recognize
    the mere existence of these problems ....

  • True Grit
    True Grit 4 days ago

    This clip seems to discount and disregard those that simply, and fairly, don't agree with a lifestyle that this site seems comfortable with.  YOU be you, and the rest of us should be who we are.  Its OK to politely disagree!.

  • Admiral D
    Admiral D 4 days ago


  • Sin SinaT
    Sin SinaT 4 days ago

    Lying to yourself might not be good for self development and growth but confronting your weakness all the time and letting people criticise you for every idea is absolutely worse, not every one is perfect and everyone should have an open mind for their flaws but there should be balance.

  • receo11
    receo11 4 days ago

    I don’t want to read.👎🏼

  • Ehsan.1.M
    Ehsan.1.M 4 days ago

    The things our minds do to us to "protect" us!

  • Jayansh Singh
    Jayansh Singh 4 days ago

    Please make a video on Jungian insights.

    • Jayansh Singh
      Jayansh Singh 3 days ago

      You're welcome. :)

    • Lua Veli
      Lua Veli 3 days ago +1

      Hello Jayansh. I didn't know that band. I have just heard the songs. Good music:- ) Thanks a lot!

    • Jayansh Singh
      Jayansh Singh 3 days ago +1

      Hi, Lua! Thank you very much for your recommendation. I'm definitely going to check out the podcast. :)
      My introduction to Jung came from the rock band Tool. You may have heard about them. Check out the following songs if you like -

    • Lua Veli
      Lua Veli 4 days ago +1

      Hello there! You may enjoy an excellent podcast called " Shrink Rap Radio". That's the oldest psychology podcast. The host is a 75 year old psychotherapist and he interviews a lot of Jungians too. He has a great sense of humour and he really goes deep into the issues with his guests. Just try a couple of episodes if you wish :- )

  • Alien Streams
    Alien Streams 4 days ago

    Hey‼️ we miss the VOICE ⁉️😐

    • Lua Veli
      Lua Veli 3 days ago

      Hi John. Thank you for your time. Considering your last sentence : Oh I am a very confused person, and I really do no harm to anybody. So don't worry :- ) I grew up in a super strict Muslim household and came out as an atheist, but I still respect and value a lot of aspects of religion. I think so does Alain too. It is interesting that his book "Religion for Atheists" was in general very welcomed by religious people. Of course some got angry but some others like an ultra catholic friend of mine thought it was a very valuable book. In my humble opinion this is a good sign. In any case, thanks for taking the time to respond. Have a nice weekend :- )

    • John Martin
      John Martin 3 days ago

      +Lua Veli ... Actual belief? Confession? Contrition? Penance? Restitution? The admission that you might not be the most important person in the universe? Boring things like that. I am a systematic agnostic. My philosophy is a bit complicated and difficult to explain in a few short phrases. But I think that to throw religion out entirely is a bit simplistic. We need a religious perspective as well as a scientific one if we are to see things as they really are. Science is based on a number of fundamental hypotheses which are quite untestable. And therefore unscientific. One is that everything is purely objective. But this cannot be the case because we need a subject to realise that. But if we admit one subject there then we might as well admit subjectivity everywhere. Why? Because that would be simplest. But if every event has both a subjective and an objective aspect then pantheism is true. And therefore religion must be true, albeit in a different way from science. And therefore to attempt to live a good life without religion will only get you into the most ridiculous scrapes. And tie you up in the most Godawful knots. And all because you are telling yourselves a lie at the most fundamental level of all. That the sacred does not exist. That the holy does not exist. When in fact everything is holy, everything is sacred. I hope that leaves you even more confused. Because it's confused people who do the least harm. Will that do?

    • Lua Veli
      Lua Veli 3 days ago

      Himmm John, thank you for your response. But I am not sure why you say that. Could you explain what you mean by paying the dues?

    • John Martin
      John Martin 3 days ago

      +Lua Veli ... I find him a bit shallow. He seems to want to have his cake and eat it. He seems to want to have all the benefits of religion without paying any of the dues.

    • Lua Veli
      Lua Veli 4 days ago

      Hello there! I am sure the voice of Alain de Botton will be back. But until then, you can find him in many other places: he is one of the greatest thinkers of our time. Besides he is the best " teacher of life" one can imagine:-) His entire work has a life changing quality. You can read his books, listen to his TED talks and other talks, and watch his documentaries too. He has another youtube channel where you can find those documentaries. Just search for the one called " Status Anxiety", to find the channel. If you want to start with one book, I would highly recommend " The Consolations of Philosophy". If you search for his name on Itunes you can find interviews with him on several podcasts too. My favourite one is the " On Being with Krista Tippett" podcast, where he talks about his latest book " The Course of Love". That's the most meaningful and profound conversation I have ever heard about love. He also has a speech on love in youtube. To find it just search for:
      " On Love, Alain de Botton, Sydney Opera House".
      Many greetings and best wishes:-)

  • don rob777
    don rob777 4 days ago

    Is it lying to yourself if your openly putting all of your toxins on your friends at a dinner party

  • Wolfgang Romine
    Wolfgang Romine 4 days ago +5

    Could you make a video about Relationship Anxiety and how to cope with it? I'd love to see it.

    • Marcus Adonis
      Marcus Adonis 2 days ago

      Wolfgang Romine They have some videos that talk about this subject, I think you'll be able to find them on their video list.

  • Stephen Adams
    Stephen Adams 4 days ago

    Surely some amount of defensiveness is good otherwise how do we protect against being gaslighted?

  • Pizaerable
    Pizaerable 4 days ago +3

    Who watches porn without masterbating? That’s like going to McDonald’s and not eating.

  • Pizaerable
    Pizaerable 4 days ago

    Who watches porn without masterbating? That’s like going to McDonald’s and not eating.

    • John Martin
      John Martin 3 days ago

      Judging by the muck served at Macdonalds that mightn't be a bad idea.

  • azad amitoz
    azad amitoz 4 days ago +1


  • Frederick Freund
    Frederick Freund 4 days ago

    beautiful video. Thank you ~

  • drz
    drz 4 days ago

    I tell myself it's ok to put q-tips in my ear.

  • pantera29palms
    pantera29palms 4 days ago +1

    Fuck you Alain.

  • Fasdaff
    Fasdaff 4 days ago +3

    I agree with that guy at the end. There's nothing more important to me than space in my apartment. That's why I prefer 2D women; the only space they take up is on my hard drive.

  • ThexCSmOuse
    ThexCSmOuse 4 days ago

    School of life doing depressing videos but you've been taking pills for all your life due to epilepsy you dont even know what depression or true sadness is...

  • Chetan Vasudev
    Chetan Vasudev 4 days ago

    Top notch video👌

  • Ana The Fat Shamer
    Ana The Fat Shamer 4 days ago

    It's like 12 year old kids doing a bad play written by 9 year old kids.

  • WeightsoverLove Nahsatta

    i loved how that girl went in on that dude about her music😂😂😂she was like u dont know shit so shut the fuq up. lol

  • SuicideHotline123
    SuicideHotline123 4 days ago

    what's the piano music in the background called?

  • Linda Kloss
    Linda Kloss 4 days ago +1

    I am one messed up human. FUCK.

  • Elizabeth Long
    Elizabeth Long 4 days ago