Detective Bittenbinder Takes Issue with John Mulaney's Standup

  • Published on May 15, 2018
  • When James asks John Mulaney about Det. J.J. Bittenbinder, the man who taught him street smarts as a kid, the two and Zooey Deschanel realize they all received questionable self defense advice as children.
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Comments • 725

  • Prudence Moe
    Prudence Moe Day ago

    i would love it if john mulaney went on b99 as JJ Bittenbinder and did a case with jake and the squad

  • msminmichigan
    msminmichigan 2 days ago

    I know they're both married to other people but ffs Zoey and John would make an adorable couple.

  • Rp Account
    Rp Account 3 days ago

    I would’ve been so excited to meet Jj bitten binder

  • Sophia Tobias
    Sophia Tobias 3 days ago

    why did it take me 4 minutes and 32 seconds to realize that that is zooey deschanel

  • H Q
    H Q 4 days ago

    Thought it was Grant Gustin at first lol. The Flash!

  • Golden Gifts
    Golden Gifts 4 days ago

    When i used to live with my grand mother. There was this guy in the streets outside out door selling ice cream and my grandmother said to not buy it cause it has cock roaches and ear wax flavour. I don’t know if it was because she wanted to keep me inside or she didn’t want to use her money to buy ice cream

  • harrypotteravenclaw
    harrypotteravenclaw 4 days ago

    Didn't realise that was Zooey Deschanel until she talked

  • Rith Trelin
    Rith Trelin 4 days ago +1

    I kinda wanna meet JJ Bittenbinder, just so I can laugh at him.

  • Josh DeLaRosa
    Josh DeLaRosa 4 days ago

    I just spent 2 1/2 minutes not realizing that Felicity Jones is actually Zooey Deschanel...

  • LycanLink
    LycanLink 4 days ago

    Random thought: Doesn't Zooey Deschanel look a LOT like Elizabeth from BioShock Infinite? I mean, Zooey's nose a little bigger, but aside from that, the similarities are uncanny. If they ever make that a movie, please cast her.

  • Francine The Cookie
    Francine The Cookie 5 days ago

    *you gotta throw them off their rhythm*

  • PsychicScout1307/ Shifter1307

    Hey dad, can I please have a silver money clip with a 50 dollar bill in it? Don’t worry, I’m only gonna chuck it into the sewer at the first sign of trouble. The man in the mustache told me to do it.

  • boku no baby academia Bsbsbababanns

    He was so thrown off his rhythm

  • Henrik Christoffersen

    Mulaney always looks like he is lift strait out of the 1930s.

  • 11 subscribers With barely any content

    Never seen a soul leave a man quicker then when John heard Bittenbinder was there

  • Dauntless Ravenclaw
    Dauntless Ravenclaw 11 days ago +1

    3:36 now you've thrown John off his rhythm

  • Ariel Gonzalez
    Ariel Gonzalez 11 days ago

    I did not recognize Zoey deschannel until she started talking about poetry

  • Antonio Tyler
    Antonio Tyler 11 days ago

    Why exercise when you can just say "And he's here tonight!" to get your heart pumping faster

  • Bill
    Bill 14 days ago

    1:11 what thy fucketh was that laugh

  • Dawn Vents
    Dawn Vents 14 days ago


  • lys
    lys 15 days ago +1

    I just saw the definition of fight or flight instincts 😂

  • Stacy Nicole
    Stacy Nicole 15 days ago +1

    How would John know about the cowboy hats if he supposedly never wore them there?

  • Sydney Garrison
    Sydney Garrison 16 days ago

    700 people feels like a lot of people to me

  • Theonfire Safire
    Theonfire Safire 16 days ago

    3:41 you’re welcome

  • Sigi S
    Sigi S 17 days ago

    We still have the same program in Chicago 😂

  • Elizabeth Stage
    Elizabeth Stage 19 days ago +1

    James: he's here tonight
    John:YoU wAnT iT? gO gET iT! *Yeet*

  • Meiji
    Meiji 19 days ago

    Both Zooey and John seem like they came right from the 60s

  • Imsimple Imjewish
    Imsimple Imjewish 20 days ago

    John Mulaney quotes John Mulaney

  • Briana Borja
    Briana Borja 20 days ago


  • Dimitri Sherrill
    Dimitri Sherrill 21 day ago

    James: And here tonight...
    John: (throws money clip w/ 50$) GO GET IT

  • elian lj
    elian lj 21 day ago

    4:13 you’re welcome

    • elian lj
      elian lj 21 day ago

      shit he’s the cutest

  • LightningGrace
    LightningGrace 23 days ago

    i didn't realise james is from high wycombe! he's correct!

  • Fat Yellow Waluigi
    Fat Yellow Waluigi 26 days ago +2

    3:41 Now John is off his rhythm.

  • Jóna_IH
    Jóna_IH 26 days ago

    John looked like he was more willing to go to the secondary location than to talk to Bittenbinder again

  • Nelson
    Nelson 26 days ago

    I could see these these two together on the silver screen, using their wits to save the day or solve a mystery, trading snappy dialogue in a 1940's *Mid-atlantic accent. I'd watch it!

  • Exudist
    Exudist 27 days ago

    Damn i thought it was pronounced bitten bind er

  • Joi Long
    Joi Long 28 days ago

    James: He's here tonight
    John: *fear and panic and is about to make a run for it*

  • Nathaniel Reta
    Nathaniel Reta 28 days ago

    That tall child really needs to get some more sleep

    AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 28 days ago +1

    Wow John Mulaney Looks like an Older Grant Gustin XD.

  • Toby Rodgers
    Toby Rodgers 29 days ago


  • Casterfo Kyrell
    Casterfo Kyrell Month ago

    Omg John and Zoe can totally tell how fake and lame James is. His questions are hollow, and they give each other knowing looks lol but they’re so professional and subtle, it’s why they’re loved

  • Blue Snooze
    Blue Snooze Month ago

    3:39 is the best part

  • cerulean tear
    cerulean tear Month ago

    1:25 Damn, Detective Bittenbinder didn't pull his punches.

  • morgan megurine
    morgan megurine Month ago +2

    That tall child is scared of bittenbinder

  • Duchess
    Duchess Month ago

    Oh my god, is that Jessica Day

  • William Jones
    William Jones Month ago

    I like how her mouth is crooked when she talks

  • Juliana V
    Juliana V Month ago

    I was really hoping Bittenbinder was there.

  • Asteroid Wolf
    Asteroid Wolf Month ago +1

    When they lied about jj being there John was so excited/terrified and then got disappointed

  • Maggie Reaume
    Maggie Reaume Month ago

    I googled him and he looks exactly how I wanted him to look

  • Samantha Darling
    Samantha Darling Month ago

    I cannot and will not ever be able to stop seeing Zooey Deschanel as Jess Day from New Girl.

  • Logan Plourde
    Logan Plourde Month ago +1

    The extent of my street smarts in school was don’t touch the gum wall, don’t talk to strangers and don’t touch the weird clear balloons with the nubs on the end because those aren’t balloons they’re condoms

  • Jordan Wheeler
    Jordan Wheeler Month ago +2

    Zooey has a certain absence-

  • Nikofoshizo
    Nikofoshizo Month ago

    That fakeout😂😂

  • Ron B.
    Ron B. Month ago +1

    Most talk show hosts are such phoney BASTARDS..........seriously?

  • Yaning Wu
    Yaning Wu Month ago

    oh look my female crush and my male crush on one couch

  • beccaaa a.
    beccaaa a. Month ago +90

    them: “he’s here!”
    john: *taking his engraved silver money clip that has $50 in it* “yoU WANT IT GO GET IT” *throws and runs*

  • Alexander Hamilton
    Alexander Hamilton Month ago

    “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” *waves bag of cocain* “THAT ISN’T MINE!”

  • Kimberly Loves Simon
    Kimberly Loves Simon Month ago +1

    Our school decided saftey can screw off and instead they brought in a magician. I think its cause I dont get excited by magic or fireworks or anything joyful but i didn't like it

  • Mari Campuzano
    Mari Campuzano Month ago +3

    Bring him in you cowards

  • TheClodGamer
    TheClodGamer Month ago

    *looks at title* NO FUCKING WAY

  • Marinelife7
    Marinelife7 Month ago

    My moms a lawyer and my dad’s a cop and that childhood y’all he got a talk a year? I got that every morning! No sugar coating! My mom would be like “they’ll take you to the woods and shove pinecones up your ass! They’ll torture the crap outta you!” I’d get the whole “don’t go to the bathroom alone or leave your drink alone” talk EVERY MORNING BEFORE SCHOOL! SCHOOL! She’d always read me the worst news stories she could find! I could not go to the MAILBOX alone, she’d watch from the window to make sure someone didn’t snatch me!

  • Kate Heffernan
    Kate Heffernan Month ago

    My boy is so humble

  • Gabrielle Zuiker
    Gabrielle Zuiker Month ago +1

    I, too, like to hit people with water bottles for self defense.

  • cactus explosion
    cactus explosion 2 months ago +6

    5:33 Loki is quaking

  • Angela Clevenger
    Angela Clevenger 2 months ago +3

    why do they look like a couple from the 1960’s

  • 1-800-help-me • — •

    *5:36**. Advice for Loki*

  • Mooshi_Moosh
    Mooshi_Moosh 2 months ago +1

    I’ve been to the rodeo multiple times that John Mulaney mentions in this video (in Cody ,Wyoming) and now I have to live with the uncertainty that I might have seen JJ Bittenbinder and I don’t remember

  • Animint
    Animint 2 months ago

    1:11 best laugh

    Shadow X POPCORN SAMA 2 months ago

    The girl sitting next to John seems so depressed...

  • Casey freehand
    Casey freehand 2 months ago +1

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Please don’t mug me
    I’m scared of you

  • Grass Roots
    Grass Roots 2 months ago

    If you went to elementary school in Texas, street smarts was rattlesnake class. They would literally bring dozens of rattlesnakes to frighten us with!

  • neoruma
    neoruma 2 months ago

    You want it?
    *GO GET IT*

  • Shnurffle
    Shnurffle 2 months ago

    A lot of people will attack you in Wycombe now😂

  • Kiwi Cucumber
    Kiwi Cucumber 2 months ago

    Here you are, , don't worry I'm not linking you to some sketchy website or advertising or something.

  • m j
    m j 2 months ago

    Lol throw the 50$ money clip and run John lol

  • dahboup
    dahboup 2 months ago

    Video of J.J. Bittenbinder:

  • Armand Arana
    Armand Arana 2 months ago

    "YOU WANT IT, GO GET IT!!" Is the most used sentence in our house since we watched his special 😂

  • Samer Al Kaabi
    Samer Al Kaabi 2 months ago +1

    John looks like Grant Gustin 🤭

  • The Scripflip Network
    The Scripflip Network 2 months ago +1

    Why is new girl in the middle of this interview, just sitting there stupified?

  • Lilac Skies
    Lilac Skies 2 months ago +1

    Roses are red
    Violates are purple
    If a stranger touches you
    Give em’ a nurple

  • smithtable15
    smithtable15 2 months ago

    Why did they not bring the Detective though? That would've been excellent.

  • phoebephoebo .sydney
    phoebephoebo .sydney 2 months ago

    Shout out from High Wycombe- whoop whoop!!

  • paranoid android
    paranoid android 2 months ago

    yer vulnerable

  • TJ noodle
    TJ noodle 3 months ago

    funny enough he retired to the same town i live in, i've seen him around a lot but never really noticed until john's special came up, i looked the dude up cus his name sounded familiar, lo and behold i see him around all the goddamn time

  • Nameless
    Nameless 3 months ago +3

    “He’s here tonight”
    I could just hear John getting his Alka seltzer tablet ready

  • stUpEndiss :/
    stUpEndiss :/ 3 months ago

    That was my favorite part too

  • muffin gaming msp
    muffin gaming msp 3 months ago

    Detective JJ bitenbinder

  • Jordi Melis
    Jordi Melis 3 months ago +4

    Yeah you can tell that Zoe is pretty uncomfortable not being the center of attention.

  • Emily Geier
    Emily Geier 3 months ago

    The more I hear about John Mulaney's childhood, the more I understand about Andrew and his family. John's mom telling him to stay away from the balloon man reminds me of Andrew's mom telling him to remember to be afraid when dropping him off. Not to mention his dad oh my gosh... It makes so much more sense now

  • certified space bisexual

    i find john mulaney so attractive oh my god

  • Bright Fighter
    Bright Fighter 3 months ago

    Is no one gonna mention the castiel suit and the female cas next to it😂

  • Angela Fender
    Angela Fender 3 months ago

    I saw a tail light gone and all I can think of is a child's small hand coming out of the light hole hahahah and am like OMG haha I checked for a child in there just incase

  • Jacob Zuiderveen
    Jacob Zuiderveen 3 months ago

    wait... Who's that girl?

  • Animal Lover
    Animal Lover 3 months ago

    I want a word with whoever did the subtitles

  • Billy Bones
    Billy Bones 3 months ago

    I want to marry Zooey! She is so perfect

  • zoopigeon
    zoopigeon 3 months ago

    James Corden has the charisma of a rotten potato

  • Zandra Steele
    Zandra Steele 3 months ago

    the word 'vulnerable' sound amazing in James accent

  • Brandon B.
    Brandon B. 3 months ago +1

    That was great

  • Ascent
    Ascent 3 months ago

    Lol. That’s what my parents did too. They never knew where the hell I was or what in heck I was up to during the time frame I was allowed out.