Why Every Awesome Fictional School Would Kill You - The Cracked Podcast

  • Published on Aug 26, 2016
    Jack O'Brien and Daniel O'Brien are joined by Cracked's Josh Sargent and Alex Schmidt, and comedians Alison Leiby, Brandie Posey, Riley Silverman and Steven Wilbur to talk Hogwarts, Starfleet Academy, Sunnydale High and more.
    CLICK HERE for our new series, INTERNET CONTENT -
    CLICK HERE for our new series, WE'RE NOT ALONE - goo.gl/cC9L5o
    CLICK HERE for more ROM.COM SEASON 3 - tvclip.biz/user/playlist?list...
    CLICK HERE for more ROM.COM SEASON 2 - tvclip.biz/user/playlist?list...
    CLICK HERE for more ROM.COM SEASON 1 - goo.gl/dWNuKx
    CLICK HERE For more AFTER HOURS: goo.gl/Nrg6Jh
    CLICK HERE For the CinemaSins Team-Up Playlist: goo.gl/6Fr465
    WATCH every episode of STARSHIP ICARUS here - goo.gl/21RejZ
    See more www.cracked.com
    LIKE us on: facebook.com/cracked
    FOLLOW us on: twitter.com/cracked
    FOLLOW us on: cracked.tumblr.com
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 505

  • Lieutenant Luxury
    Lieutenant Luxury Month ago

    Man imagine paying money to watch this.

  • John Shoemaker
    John Shoemaker 3 months ago

    Make more videos!!! I want more of the Hunter S. Thompson Harry Potter!!!

  • Conner Van Vorhis
    Conner Van Vorhis 3 months ago

    Was jack obrien kind of like, harassing his staff? The way he introduced some of them made me uncomfortable

  • jamesdeanhendrix
    jamesdeanhendrix 5 months ago

    Crowley High School from Todd and the Book of Pure Evil!!!

  • Androgynous Teen
    Androgynous Teen 9 months ago

    That's how tolerance is formed 😂😂👍🏻

  • fairystail1
    fairystail1 Year ago

    Come on guy! South Harmon Institute of Technology anyone? I want to be a S.H.I.T. Head

  • Mr. burnham
    Mr. burnham Year ago


  • Sydney Barron
    Sydney Barron Year ago

    “So mine is East High from High School Musical”
    “High school musical is sucky”

  • Steven York
    Steven York Year ago

    The founders built the school in Harry Potter

  • gingercore69
    gingercore69 Year ago

    Bullworth academy... Learnimg how to fight with a hobo? Being inmume to explosions? Make your own damn bombs and rockets? Count me in!

  • cosmic spooky
    cosmic spooky Year ago

    no love for Sky High?

  • SenpasZtic
    SenpasZtic Year ago

    2:15 can we all just appreciate jack's tiny water bottle?

  • Grace Griffin
    Grace Griffin Year ago

    One of my college professors is also named Allison Levy, so when he announced her name, I almost choked

  • Bubbles
    Bubbles Year ago

    Is it sad that I recognize all these schools

  • Moira Menzelli
    Moira Menzelli Year ago +1

    How did the schools from Boy vs World now make the cut?
    Every day a new lesson is learned, at least one of your teachers is guaranteed to be hyper invested in their student's lives, and occasionally the class nerd somehow breaks the current understanding of physics and the universe

  • Wasteland DV
    Wasteland DV Year ago

    I'm gonna go way right wing cause this pod cast "inspired" me and say the Academy of Law from the Judge Dredd universe because I'd be a Judge. And Just being a random Judge in Mega City one would be awesome.

    • Nick Colen
      Nick Colen Year ago

      while i love judge dredd particularly the 2000AD published stories i am wondering if you realize the character was created to make fun of Americans love of characters like dirty harry and police brutality in general. dredd is intended to be viewed as an asshat. the creators have said as much.

  • Wasteland DV
    Wasteland DV Year ago

    Star Fleet Academy was not a privet institution.

  • Sarah DiPasquale
    Sarah DiPasquale Year ago

    South park elementary lol

  • Blah Anger
    Blah Anger Year ago

    KIll me ... kill me now....

  • Marjina Dunaway
    Marjina Dunaway Year ago

    I would choose the school from breakfast club because it seems like the different groups stay separate and do not bother each other. Also because it is a school that has a library that large and the extra budget to hold Saturday detention

  • Nellie Vanli
    Nellie Vanli Year ago

    So who won?

  • Melissa Samms
    Melissa Samms Year ago +2

    Riverdale high, though. No one seems to hate each other (aside from people generally thinking reggies a scumbag and jughead avoiding Ethel) the teachers all seem really supportive and attentive and it's a safe community with stuff for teenagers to do for fun. (Please note I am disregarding the new tv series and the spooky comics)

  • Something Dreadful

    The school from Donnie Darko.

  • SphereSquared
    SphereSquared Year ago +1

    the discussion leader has a tiny pet bottle

  • charles townsend
    charles townsend Year ago

    If I were to go to Hogwarts I'd like it to be before the first Harry potter book because when Harry arrives everything goes to crap and everything revolves around harry potter, plus I'm far away from giant snakes, murderers and a massive war, instead of fighting Harrys battles I can be sitting in my office or travelling the world, not being killed because of one pupil. The only downside to the Harry potter universe is the only sport is stupid and everyone is to stupid to use killing spells against murders. I would love to go to the school from rwby, you get a special power, a cool sword/scythe/hammer/staff/cane/handbag/camera/robot arms that's also a gun and your future job is killing creatures that are really easy to kill and appear out of nowhere so you'll always have a job. Plus robots exist.

  • Frances Mei
    Frances Mei Year ago

    I ❤️ Harry Potter

  • the madman lowercase

    lol, real fun episode!

  • Jonida Sanço
    Jonida Sanço Year ago


  • sgtcojonez
    sgtcojonez 2 years ago

    stupid feminists

  • Chelsea Pascale
    Chelsea Pascale 2 years ago

    No one picked School for the Gifted from X-Men??????

  • Marquise Strong
    Marquise Strong 2 years ago +1

    "Eh, Mr. C, I'm an agent of chaos!!" Dan kills me!

  • Katlyn
    Katlyn 2 years ago

    I thought it was about awesome characters​. I watched the whole thing, waiting. ... sleep deprivation makes me gullible.

  • Jessica Ward
    Jessica Ward 2 years ago

    3 words: St Goddamn Trinians!

  • jb888888888
    jb888888888 2 years ago

    How come there was no vote after the Bayside presentation? JOB just said "OK we're done, thanks for coming."

  • Bradley Thurmond
    Bradley Thurmond 2 years ago

    but the federation know that there is no discovery without Kirk to start conflict. sure he fucks thing up but he is paired with people who can smooth things over later. Kirk is only there because without space ships would fly in circles.

  • Bradley Thurmond
    Bradley Thurmond 2 years ago +2

    Are you ever gonna do cracked live in Atlanta? l'm down for a tractor fight with Daniel if it is a must.

  • HeartlessDaboss
    HeartlessDaboss 2 years ago +1

    magic school bus fun all the time

  • Samuel FlaBra
    Samuel FlaBra 2 years ago

    dazed and confused

  • Bryan Paschke
    Bryan Paschke 2 years ago

    Cracked, you're too good for clickbait titles. This video would have been just as good and I would have clicked on it just as quickly if you had named it accurately. Sincerely disappointed, but I'm going to thumbs up anyway because I enjoyed it.

  • Underscore Poet
    Underscore Poet 2 years ago

    One of the kids in the audience is gonna grow up into Syndrome from the Incredibles.

  • Derick Gabrillo
    Derick Gabrillo 2 years ago +7

    South Harmon Institute of Technology?

  • Teeleer
    Teeleer 2 years ago

    If you go to Hogwarts, you learn magic, freaking magic, that in itself is cool. Worse case scenario you are a squib and you still learn potions and taming magical creatures, if you are lazy you take muggle studies and just excel for living in the muggle world; that job is probably on the lower end of jobs yet Ron's dad can support 7 kids on a single salary.

    • Spencer Hydes
      Spencer Hydes Year ago

      Teeleer if you're a squib you aren't going to hogwarts. You're being abandoned and thrown into the world on your own...

  • kaerouse48
    kaerouse48 2 years ago

    No Jedi Academy?

  • GodAwfulNinja
    GodAwfulNinja 2 years ago

    Walker-vile elementary probably drugs their students with acid before every lesson.

  • Meghan Dunning
    Meghan Dunning 2 years ago

    sunny oaks elementary school or rydell high

  • Plasma Bat
    Plasma Bat 2 years ago

    The answer is Star Fleet but only the one from the J.J. Abrams movies.

  • Isabella Rose
    Isabella Rose 2 years ago +5

    "Nobody that went to Walkerville Elementary is going to vote for Trump because when you've been baked into a cake with someone different from you and then you live to tell the tale but also understand the chemical combustion that almost killed you that's how tolerance happens"

    • Isabella Rose
      Isabella Rose 2 years ago

      But what about that one curly haired redhead that always is like "no I really don't want to go" and than she abducts him anyways.

  • David Meloche
    David Meloche 2 years ago +2

    Sky High...because then you get a superpower...which is awesome. but also terrible, as described in another cracked video.

  • Agent Washingtub
    Agent Washingtub 2 years ago

    "High school musical sounds like the inside of a stupid person's head as they go insane." I can verify that. The musicals I've got in my head are great.

  • Kitty Underwood
    Kitty Underwood 2 years ago

    the moving stairs bit 😹😹😹

  • Smitty
    Smitty 2 years ago

    gotta go with battle school from ender's game. after you murder your bully people will treat you like a hero for squishing a few bugs. also i'd like to know what it's like to be surrounded by smart people

  • Meta Ray
    Meta Ray 2 years ago +1

    No Sky High? Anyone?

  • david downey
    david downey 2 years ago

    I hate that camry commercial

  • oskamunda
    oskamunda 2 years ago

    Balamb Garden, all the way.

  • Aquamarth
    Aquamarth 2 years ago

    Leo Institute of Dueling?

  • WhatTheFuckIsMyName
    WhatTheFuckIsMyName 2 years ago

    Hogwarts is a public school though?
    That's why the Weasleys could go there...

    • Spencer Hydes
      Spencer Hydes Year ago

      Kuroba purebloods. And if there's only 1000 wizarding children at most that population is going to be dead in a generation, so I cannot accept that that's the only school, so logically a school as objectively awesome as Hogwarts which is run by the head of wizard parliament isn't public. Remember, it's invitation only, and Harry was signed up at birth, the muggle born are discovered by accidental magic. So hogwarts is definitely private

  • Lily Darkmoore
    Lily Darkmoore 2 years ago +1

    I can't freaking watch ANYTHING on TVclip without another G-DAMNED Devious Don T-rump commercial coming on that I can't skip through! Makes me want to just stop watching ANYTHING on TVclip, because I don't want my day polluted by his racist, sexist SWILL! The crap-head is a menace to society and I'm sick and tired of it!

  • FlannelLemon
    FlannelLemon 2 years ago

    Walkerville! Walkerville!

  • Cartoon Fan
    Cartoon Fan 2 years ago +3

    What about the DWMA from Soul Eater? The one where you're taught how to work in a team by either being taught how to wield weapons or be a weapon and not complain about it, and for extra credit, you go out and fight some evil people.

    • Cartoon Fan
      Cartoon Fan 2 years ago +1

      Excellent things to consider when regarding the name of the video and my comment.

    • The Portside Podcast
      The Portside Podcast 2 years ago +1

      As DWMA would be fun, there are alot of issues regarding that School and it's level of protection of the students and staff. (Hell, one of the staff was a fucking Witch, and another got corrupted by Madness, one got Murdered and brought back to life, the list goes on and on).

  • AmatMiguel
    AmatMiguel 2 years ago +1

    While I already know why it's a terrible school idea, I'm surprised no one mentioned Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.

  • Bradley Keels
    Bradley Keels 2 years ago

    I think we are forgetting one very important place.... Blue Mountain State.

  • Prince Diop
    Prince Diop 2 years ago

    I hate podcasts

  • Collin Beekmann
    Collin Beekmann 2 years ago

    Balamb Garden? Anybody else?

  • Hleghe
    Hleghe 2 years ago

    20:56, what did he think she said?

  • Lois Sanborn
    Lois Sanborn 2 years ago

    Wait, why didn't Sargent stay when he killed? I thought he was invited to stay.

  • Squall Loire
    Squall Loire 2 years ago

    "Okay Serge, you're staying. Brandie, thank you."
    So where did Serge go?

  • Celty Tompkins
    Celty Tompkins 2 years ago

    Magic School Bus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Isaac Kramer
    Isaac Kramer 2 years ago

    Honestly I would go to Point Place High School just to warn Eric Foreman about the Prequels.

  • P Ciprian
    P Ciprian 2 years ago

    so two fat feminists and a mangina... ok...

  • Jenvas
    Jenvas 2 years ago +8

    Just cause you are female and/or LGBT doesn't mean you can only make jokes relating to that. Even though I share some of those labels, I didn't find it funny, cause I don't base my whole existence around this stuff.
    This was about fictional schools, but quickly felt like it was about something else.

  • Mark Doldon
    Mark Doldon 2 years ago +1

    Sunnydale High. Highest death and missing persons rate in the known universe, but you have to admit, it's never dull

  • MAN Network
    MAN Network 2 years ago

    I'm not trying to be mean in any way shape or form, I just need to know; Is Riley a man or woman?

    • MAN Network
      MAN Network 2 years ago

      I totally missed the she.

    • Erik W. S.
      Erik W. S. 2 years ago

      legacyShredder1 since they used "she" in her introduction, I assume woman comes closer.

    • Liam Colbert
      Liam Colbert 2 years ago

      shcle identifys as nether a man nor a woman, however also identifies as both, as well as a centar lizzard from mars, the fact you would be so dissrespectful angers me so, how will i go on in this world with people like you in it
      im...... so...........TRIGGERED

  • Sin-Jin Satayathum
    Sin-Jin Satayathum 2 years ago

    so... a two year old episode of After Hours .... ? ... which is OK ...just say it is the live Comments Section ... thats a good name for a podcast series. .. you are welcome

  • Will The Greatest
    Will The Greatest 2 years ago

    Gay evil twin from an alternate dimension? pffft that didn't happen on Buf- yes it did...I almost forgot that absolutely happened

  • Bradie Maree
    Bradie Maree 2 years ago

    I get so excited when anyone mentions Buffy

  • jjhazley2
    jjhazley2 2 years ago

    I would defiantly want to go to X middle school. If you don't know what I'm talking about, YOU MONSTER! Any school that has a 100% in catching theft, sabotage, and has that many extra curricular is the school for me. I can deal with the massive destruction of school property on a daily basis cause even the nobodies are into something and their girl scouts were way more bad a$$ then my crappy troop. We never got to Xmas wrap a student with his own murch. All we did was make picture frames out of popsicle sticks. See Filmore for more details, You MONSTERS.

  • Mark Smith
    Mark Smith 2 years ago

    Love this shit.

  • Nick Krasny
    Nick Krasny 2 years ago

    Brandi (Brandy?) Posey was a fucking riot XD

  • Erickk isreal
    Erickk isreal 2 years ago

    they forgot to include the duel academy from yugioh GX

  • ChaseHLee
    ChaseHLee 2 years ago

    Brian's reaction after dude says bats. True uncontrollable burst of laughter

  • Omar Ali
    Omar Ali 2 years ago

    sky high superhero school
    you have superpowers

    • Omar Ali
      Omar Ali 2 years ago

      +Tanis031 but that would still be awesome there is one class for awesome powers and one for weak powers
      and you still get to work with other supers

    • Tanis031
      Tanis031 2 years ago

      Not all of the superpowers were useful. More than likely you'd be one of those. Or the person everyone assumes had powers and didn't.

  • Franklin Falco
    Franklin Falco 2 years ago +1

    It's not like they're that much more dangerous than high-poverty neighborhood schools.

  • Ruthiel Alastor
    Ruthiel Alastor 2 years ago

    I love how it just seems like they only have 3 chairs, so they have to rotate their guests.

  • Andrew Hedrick
    Andrew Hedrick 2 years ago

    The rampant liberalism that is Brandy Posey is delicious

  • Patrick Griffiths
    Patrick Griffiths 2 years ago +11

    Does Alex Schmidt realize his uniform would involve a red shirt?

  • Kerri Sepulveda
    Kerri Sepulveda 2 years ago +34

    Damn. I was so looking forward to hearing the argument for Hogwarts, and it just ended up as a platform for the comic to prove just how queer she really is. So disappointing.
    "Hogwarts is cool because I'm queer and Harry lived in a closet and I'm queer!"

    • 21pilots tillidie
      21pilots tillidie 7 months ago

      I might be wrong but im pretty sure there are huge chunks of the people talking cutout

    • Gregory House
      Gregory House 2 years ago +9

      David Johnson That's because there's no good reason to go to Hogwarts. It's just about guaranteed to kill you. That's why it's full of ghosts.

    • David Johnson
      David Johnson 2 years ago +1

      this. great that silverman knows who she is, but there was nothing entertaining about that portion.

  • Project Redfoot
    Project Redfoot 2 years ago

    Buffy the Vampire Slayer got shafted

  • Rilian Lunsford
    Rilian Lunsford 2 years ago +31

    That sarge guy who did sunnydale got more of a cheer than the previous one, and I thought the host told him to stay so why didn't he?

    • Kerri Sepulveda
      Kerri Sepulveda 2 years ago +15

      I was so confused by that. He definitely won that round.

  • Zara Franke
    Zara Franke 2 years ago

    thats how tolerance happens

  • texshelters
    texshelters 2 years ago

    One of your worst, most trite episodes ever. I'm suing! PTxS

  • Kick gum, and chew ass.
    Kick gum, and chew ass. 2 years ago +1

    7:50 Sorry cracked, you fucking morons, that's a man.

    • Kick gum, and chew ass.
      Kick gum, and chew ass. 2 years ago

      @Kyle Pitt Learn to reply correctly. dumbass. I've read plenty more than you, thanks.
      @Rilian Lunsford Thank you for noticing! =)

    • Kyle Pitt
      Kyle Pitt 2 years ago

      *Sorry, Cracked, you fucking morons. That's a man.
      Read a book, you fucking moron.

    • Rilian Lunsford
      Rilian Lunsford 2 years ago

      wow you're a genius.

  • poeticIrony
    poeticIrony 2 years ago

    i should point out quite a bit about the school in the magic school bus:
    miss frizzle's class is the ONLY one that goes on magic field trips.
    also, not personal? she literally takes the whole class INSIDE a sick student.

  • sillysallyceli
    sillysallyceli 2 years ago

    I would live in Shag the movie.

  • Hippy Dippy
    Hippy Dippy 2 years ago

    I pick Star Wars schools. They don't seem to have one, but everyone there can fix really awesome robots with a screwdriver. In fact, the only school I ever saw was Jedi school, and how fucking cool would that be?

    • Hippy Dippy
      Hippy Dippy 2 years ago +1

      @dffykvn Were you describing Star Wars or the American School system? ")

    • Z'Q
      Z'Q 2 years ago

      Would you really want to though?
      You'd be competing for jobs in a place where even the hickiest hicks can repair complex machinery. Thanks to supply and demand engineers probably make as much as burger flippers.
      You probably won't even be able to get a manual job because slaves do all of them.
      Jedi school: A religious school where you're brainwashed to be morally opposed to dating.
      The only real job opportunity is becoming a stormtrooper because not only are they always hiring because of the high casualty rates but you don't even have to learn how to aim.
      All you really have to remember is to run away in pants crapping terror from anyone wearing a robe and try to look busy when your asthmatic boss shows up.

  • Hippy Dippy
    Hippy Dippy 2 years ago

    ;I feel that I should be concerned that Cracked is the pinnacle of critical thinking on the internet. Every single episode only proves that my totally cynical attitude about our world is actually unbridled optimism.

  • Johnna Pineda
    Johnna Pineda 2 years ago +4

    I loved 😍 the starfleet idea! In fact, when I watched star trek beyond, I kept imagining how cool it would be to live in Yorktown!

  • foxfire1112
    foxfire1112 2 years ago +1

    cracked live is great

  • John Goodrich
    John Goodrich 2 years ago +2

    This is why Riverdale is the best fictional school.

  • James Chaffee
    James Chaffee 2 years ago

    jack needs to eat a pound of boric acid

  • lauraafjs
    lauraafjs 2 years ago