Michael McIntyre's greatest jokes #1

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  • Published on Jan 27, 2018
  • Criticism:
    - Phone Charging Joke was very funny since it's very personal to me, back then without the technology, the decision of getting stuff we take granted now a days was a big deal.
    - Raising children joke was the funniest. I've risen my children and have experienced all the things Michael suggested in this excerpt.
    - OMG the driving joke! Haha! Hilarious!!
    - The clock one is so obsurd and funny at the same time. It's just so funny how he makes fun of things we experience all the time.
    - The sport joke is again, as usual, funny! Sports is a peculiar things, and when explained and emphasised by Michael, it makes my throat hurt :)
    - Christmas Toys from Crackers are just -- well you know.
    - I like the McDonald's at Heathrow, not the one down the street. This joke was surprising since it combines my personal interest and my personal experience from my kids.
    Gain free games and money!
    bit.ly/2DCZNzj
    Love Michael McIntyre as much as I do? Then sit back and relax while this man entertains you with his awfully funny jokes!
    Make sure to watch his Big Show on BBC One on Saturdays!
    Make sure to subscribe for more brilliant videos of comedy.
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 737

  • Alice O'Malley
    Alice O'Malley 3 hours ago

    he’s a complete comical genius. such good jokes

  • Space Dogs!
    Space Dogs! 6 hours ago

    He sounds like Harry Enfield haha

  • BABY BI BI BI
    BABY BI BI BI 6 hours ago +1

    Is it good or bad that I am the second child that he said no child is.........

  • Pj Faik
    Pj Faik 7 hours ago

    He’s not funny..

  • Dani Hay
    Dani Hay 8 hours ago

    It's been too long since I've watched Michael McIntyre

  • DillyDyson007
    DillyDyson007 Day ago +1

    This man is not funny. If you are here laughing, you are contributing to the downfall of humanity.

    • DillyDyson007
      DillyDyson007 6 hours ago

      Thank you

    • Pj Faik
      Pj Faik 7 hours ago

      DillyDyson007 he’s not funny in the slightest

  • Tiny Mac
    Tiny Mac 2 days ago

    ha we have the same last name

  • Amelia Scarlett
    Amelia Scarlett 2 days ago

    6:03 well it was one of yous

    DISCOSTEN!

  • mona mohammad
    mona mohammad 2 days ago

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ he is absolutely right about ball games, I remember someone said that cricket is organised loafing

  • Jason Wills
    Jason Wills 2 days ago

    Itssofunnyhowtruelifecanbe.

  • Katie Jones
    Katie Jones 3 days ago

    Howling

  • Jasmine _
    Jasmine _ 3 days ago

    everything he said about the kids, was literally me when I was a kid

  • Joan The Cat
    Joan The Cat 4 days ago

    Huuuuu minty fresh!

  • Daniel Watts
    Daniel Watts 4 days ago

    Michael mcintyre is a legend

  • Saskia Bowers
    Saskia Bowers 4 days ago

    Best comedian ever

  • Umme Salma Tahir
    Umme Salma Tahir 5 days ago

    Very very funny guy. Grew up with his comedy, it's the best till this day.

  • Isabelle McIntyre
    Isabelle McIntyre 5 days ago

    He’s probably like my uncle or something lol

  • Mika Nomura
    Mika Nomura 5 days ago

    Give them broccoli ice cream. That’ll shut β€˜em up

  • CΓ©dric Heitmann
    CΓ©dric Heitmann 6 days ago

    I actually like belgian fart grenades.πŸ˜…

  • David Dervishaj
    David Dervishaj 6 days ago

    leaflet local pizzeria... Cracked

  • Graham Preece
    Graham Preece 6 days ago

    Can’t understand anyone watching this bloke,about as funny as watching paint dry,terrible comic

  • Jared Tweed
    Jared Tweed 7 days ago

    What did the librarian say to the student?



    *Read more*

  • Anoop Rana
    Anoop Rana 7 days ago

    Repeated after @22:00

  • N1ck5t33d
    N1ck5t33d 7 days ago

    The most boring comedian in Britain. All the other comedians on the comedy circuit hate him because he is so annoying.

    • Dinky Doo
      Dinky Doo 7 days ago

      Camper than Butlins me old son. You like playing with your keyboard don't you ;-)

    • N1ck5t33d
      N1ck5t33d 7 days ago

      +Dinky Doo Act the hard man? Are you mentally challenged. I doubt you're very manly and your need to say so makes me think you are probably a little bit camp.

    • Dinky Doo
      Dinky Doo 7 days ago

      I'm probably more of a man than you'll ever be. I also don't need to act the hard man behind my keyboard!
      Are you from stockport?

    • N1ck5t33d
      N1ck5t33d 7 days ago

      +Dinky Doo What's your point? Generally I would say the demographic that like him are middle aged / old women. Which are you?

    • Dinky Doo
      Dinky Doo 7 days ago

      Yet here you are making an effort to come to his video, watch it and comment!

  • Ellen O'Neill
    Ellen O'Neill 8 days ago

    Genius. He depicts drama and accents to create outstanding comedy. Love him.

  • Natalia Andrea
    Natalia Andrea 9 days ago

    The roll up your window one had me dying! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Adwinner
    Adwinner 9 days ago

    I just saw Michael McIntyre world tour, and I just realised how many of his jokes were reused from this

  • gameassist
    gameassist 9 days ago

    Can headspace die

  • Jenni Awesome_dude86
    Jenni Awesome_dude86 10 days ago +1

    I think I’m going pee myself coz this guy πŸ˜‚

  • Kirsty Templeman
    Kirsty Templeman 10 days ago

    as if he used the Christmas bit at the royal variety in 2010 n he just copied it ahahahah

  • finn cena
    finn cena 10 days ago

    Why do people in the comment section care so much that he doesn't swear or isn't racist or sexist. Surely all that matters is that he's funny? Weird priorities from an audience.

  • Anton Kulish
    Anton Kulish 12 days ago +1

    The children thing is only an issue if you make it an issue... don't keep garbage food in the house, they won't be able to eat it. don't want to wear warm stuff to school? don't. after you freeze a couple of times, even the dumbest child will learn that clothes are necessary.

  • Naomi Deacon
    Naomi Deacon 12 days ago

    Who else was looking for a charger because the phone was 14% during the first joke πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Katrina Price
    Katrina Price 12 days ago

    The hazards aren't a form of thank you in Australia, but a nice concept.

  • Lord Daniel Hagan
    Lord Daniel Hagan 12 days ago

    Where does he get the energy πŸ˜‚

  • Psycho_Maniac
    Psycho_Maniac 12 days ago

    'Fart grenades from Belgium' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Elizabeth Williams
    Elizabeth Williams 12 days ago

    Love him but I actually love turkey. I think he's had the wrong kind of turkey.

  • Sof
    Sof 13 days ago

    "Squashed up vegetable fart balls"

  • Magdalene Kioko
    Magdalene Kioko 13 days ago

    He makes it look so effortless. Funny man.

  • Snakesborough
    Snakesborough 13 days ago

    I don't like cricket. No, I don't. I LOVE IT. AND I AM FUCKING DUTCH! Sharia May out, Tommy Robinson in.

  • Unicorns Forever
    Unicorns Forever 14 days ago

    IM F***ING SOBBING WITH LAUGHTER OML

  • Kittykat Copenhagen
    Kittykat Copenhagen 14 days ago

    The leaflet from the pizzaria 🀣 πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜†

  • Robin Christer
    Robin Christer 15 days ago

    He links his comedy to real life struggles. Amazing

  • terrytezzbigtel
    terrytezzbigtel 15 days ago

    Sometimes I feel like he is in my head. He hits the nail every time for me. This just saved my day πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ˜‚πŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈπŸ₯œπŸ™ŒπŸ½

  • Sophiah Koikas
    Sophiah Koikas 15 days ago

    omg , he's so funny and everything he says is so true!

  • Louise Baker
    Louise Baker 16 days ago

    He is honestly the funniest πŸ˜‚

  • nik nak
    nik nak 16 days ago

    Oh wow.
    I really needed this laugh!
    I forgot how hilarious he actually is and all without swearing or being vulgar.

  • Kandi Wolfe
    Kandi Wolfe 16 days ago

    Hilarious !! Right on target with children! Loved the bit on CrackerJack Prizes ( I always loved the tiny playing cards!!)....THANKS BUNCHES for the huge laughs today!! ;) Peace!!

  • Lightmonster803
    Lightmonster803 16 days ago

    I love his show

  • Kara Zor-El
    Kara Zor-El 16 days ago

    Michael McIntyre is hilarious. The stuff he talks about is just so relatable it's almost like laughing at real life itself...

  • Hey It's Sarah.
    Hey It's Sarah. 16 days ago +1

    Hello I'm a child watching this while willingly eating a salad fear me.
    I have a shower once a week.
    I stay up until like 1am.

  • neonwired
    neonwired 18 days ago

    so basically other people's greatest jokes

  • Marilynn Stoneman
    Marilynn Stoneman 19 days ago

    who is this?-it sounds like Michael Mcintyre but doesn't look like him - is he ill? He has lost that energy---shame!

  • Infires? Infires Man!!

    He is so funny and entertaining!

  • Steve Marks
    Steve Marks 20 days ago +1

    Where are the jokes?

  • D Liggo
    D Liggo 21 day ago

    He is not a comedian he is not funny at all and does not tell real jokes if he on off goes our tv...

  • Luubelaar
    Luubelaar 21 day ago

    Oh yeah. The children battles.
    Me: Have you brushed your teeth?
    Son: Yesssss
    Me: Today?
    Son: * trudges to the bathroom and begrudgingly brushes teeth*
    Every. Fekkin. Day. (So glad he's older now and has grown out of that bs)

  • matthew
    matthew 23 days ago

    not a single joke. what are they laughing at? painful.

  • Russell Austin
    Russell Austin 24 days ago

    Give me Max Miller any time. !

  • Supreme Leader Nugget
    Supreme Leader Nugget 25 days ago

    My parents used to tell me when i was a kid that the Hazard warning lights in our car was a detonator to self-destruct the car
    So i never pushed it

  • Ben Bradley-Croft
    Ben Bradley-Croft 25 days ago

    Since when does my dad make Michael MacIntyre comps on TVclip

  • Trunks Briefs
    Trunks Briefs 25 days ago +1

    I'm 17 right now and I have vivid memories of being such a little bitch when the shampoo actually touched my eye. FYI his impersonation is fucking spot on.

    • Luubelaar
      Luubelaar 21 day ago +1

      Our neighbours knew when it was hair-wash-day in our house. They could hear the screaming. Fortunately they were all parents too and completely understood.

  • Johnny Zuidema
    Johnny Zuidema 25 days ago

    When the act is clean, it's twice as impressive

  • loveless232
    loveless232 25 days ago

    I honestly miss hand crank windows... you're SOL if the fuse to your window blows these days.

  • Never Mind
    Never Mind 26 days ago

    i'm so fucking drunk

  • PirateJake
    PirateJake 26 days ago +1

    Hati

  • Aleecia hilliard
    Aleecia hilliard 26 days ago

    lol

  • Ann-Marie Baker
    Ann-Marie Baker 26 days ago

    Hilarious! The bit about the phones

  • Ann-Marie Baker
    Ann-Marie Baker 26 days ago

    Hilarious! The bit about the phones

  • Aaron M
    Aaron M 26 days ago

    the British food is rubbish , no wonder kids hate it. boiled frozen veggies are considered dinner ?πŸ˜‚

  • Becky yates
    Becky yates 27 days ago

    I can relate to every parenting struggle haha. All true!

  • Blank Space
    Blank Space 28 days ago

    The little ads that interrupt the video are funnier than this guy.

  • Ellie D Dressage
    Ellie D Dressage 29 days ago +1

    The first one is so true. All of them.are trueπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Anna Gould
    Anna Gould 29 days ago

    STOP FAFFING

  • Oh shit what
    Oh shit what 29 days ago

    I wholeheartedly relate to the windshield wiper thing and I'm from Finland :DD It fits perfectly to Finns too lmao

  • Animal Love
    Animal Love 29 days ago

    I’m 12 and I act more mature than my 29 yr old brotherπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Raine Carosin
    Raine Carosin Month ago

    If anyone wants to know who killed me, it was Michael McIntyre, with a joke on the balcony... I just couldn't take it anymore! Nor could anyone else! I think I flew off with my name ringing in my ears!!!! It's so hard to keep silent and deadly in the middle of the night... but, now I haven't finished watching the rest of the show yet... It's such a slow death, plummeting surely toward the end... But, this is soooooooo good! If you're reading this, then you surely do need to have a laugh...

  • Iain Wilks
    Iain Wilks Month ago +1

    How consistently unfunny is this man ?

    • Iain Wilks
      Iain Wilks 7 days ago

      +Dinky Doo It autoplayed and confirmed what I already knew πŸ˜‚

    • Dinky Doo
      Dinky Doo 7 days ago

      Why come and watch it?

    • Iain Wilks
      Iain Wilks 21 day ago

      +Stuart Gibbons Now that's what I call funny πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    • Stuart Gibbons
      Stuart Gibbons 21 day ago +1

      +Iain Wilks I think it has more to do with your preference then his comical ability...

    • Iain Wilks
      Iain Wilks 28 days ago

      +Blank Space I appreciate the comments about family friendly comedy. However the comedy is conspicuous by its absence πŸ˜‚

  • Brant Lambermont
    Brant Lambermont Month ago

    MM is a truly brilliant comedian. He's a really really funny guy with side-splitting material. You know who else is really funny, Chris Rock. If you go to Chris' show expecting Bob Newhart well then YOU'RE a fucking asshole. Watch Stephen Fry's thoughts on swearing and grow up. Oh and you know who was really offended by Eddie Murphy's stand up ? yup Bill the drugging rapist Cosby, back then comedy's wholesome dad.

  • Roxy Storm
    Roxy Storm Month ago

    you made my darkest hours to be happy!! thank you...

  • Chazz β€˜
    Chazz β€˜ Month ago +1

    I still think racist comedy is the best, shame you can’t find it anymore since today’s society is easily offended

    • Dinky Doo
      Dinky Doo 7 days ago

      Bernard Manning look him up

    • neonwired
      neonwired 18 days ago

      or maybe we've moved on from the twats.

  • Adam Debra
    Adam Debra Month ago

    This is comedy goals
    I don’t wear a coat I don’t brush my teeth without being asked I eat my veg not fruit I’m always ready for school I hate bed
    My brother is all the things he said
    My little brother always asks to go to bed
    And my other brother is all of them but he loooves peas and sweet corn

  • itsahardlifewhenyourreneverwrong

    This guys funniest moments should have only lasted about 5 seconds.

  • Penguin Flippa
    Penguin Flippa Month ago

    it's funny *_'cause it's true_* πŸ˜’

  • Chels Sandvig
    Chels Sandvig Month ago

    When ur suppose to be asleep everyone else is sleeping and u watch this the face I make trying not to laugh at this makes it seem like I just killed someone and I’m not really sure what I should do next

  • Iris Stroh
    Iris Stroh Month ago

    the teeth joke: trrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  • Kimmi Landa
    Kimmi Landa Month ago

    πŸ˜‚

  • Kimmi Landa
    Kimmi Landa Month ago

    He forgot the land line and letters, envelopes and stamps.

  • Marion Moore
    Marion Moore Month ago

    The truth all of it,
    then you go through all
    again with the grandchildren.
    Hilarious. Thank You Best Laugh
    πŸ˜‚β€οΈπŸ¦‹πŸ¦‹πŸ¦‹πŸ€πŸ˜‚πŸ¦‰πŸŒˆπŸ˜

  • TheGamingDuck
    TheGamingDuck Month ago

    Michael is probably one of my favourite comedians!

  • Dubbycorns
    Dubbycorns Month ago

    He takes jokes to the next level they are that funny but relatable it is unreal

  • Urby
    Urby Month ago

    My new car's intermittent wipe has its own 1 - 3 dial... It's a whole other battle.

  • Roberta Smith
    Roberta Smith Month ago

    I NEED TO SEE THIS GUY !

  • Gracie Jotyar
    Gracie Jotyar Month ago

    Omg I love him soooooo much I want to see a show on his tour

  • YONCE 8701
    YONCE 8701 Month ago

    I'M BOILING!!!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’€

  • Georgia Raynes
    Georgia Raynes Month ago

    This made me laugh.....in my day my husband had nothing to do with the children h bathing, eating etc. .....women's work only apparently.........and my husband and his friends thought it was easy being a mum. Thought we had no stresses, nothing to do....the meals cooked themselves, the washing and ironing did itself, the house kept itself clean and the children were easy....and I worked part time too. How things have changed lol

  • amy clarke
    amy clarke Month ago

    saw him tonight 😊

  • Roslyn Kamau
    Roslyn Kamau Month ago

    Hahahahahaha parenthood is EEAL PEOPLE!

  • JiKook Phangirl
    JiKook Phangirl Month ago

    It's 03:30 AM.
    I am told that I look like Michael McIntyre on a daily basis which has built up a strong hatred for him. My closest friend even went to the lengths of buying me a DVD of one of his tours.
    At this ungodly hour, I've heaved up the courage from the depths of my subconscious to click on this video, which has been in my recommended for weeks now. Watching, waiting.
    If these are his greatest then he's OK at best, and I will never give anyone the satisfaction of calling him anything better.

  • Nathan Ameru
    Nathan Ameru Month ago

    "Dad you can't force us, you can't Force Us" Love the energy of this guy's style