Michael McIntyre's greatest jokes #1

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  • Published on Jan 27, 2018
  • Criticism:
    - Phone Charging Joke was very funny since it's very personal to me, back then without the technology, the decision of getting stuff we take granted now a days was a big deal.
    - Raising children joke was the funniest. I've risen my children and have experienced all the things Michael suggested in this excerpt.
    - OMG the driving joke! Haha! Hilarious!!
    - The clock one is so obsurd and funny at the same time. It's just so funny how he makes fun of things we experience all the time.
    - The sport joke is again, as usual, funny! Sports is a peculiar things, and when explained and emphasised by Michael, it makes my throat hurt :)
    - Christmas Toys from Crackers are just -- well you know.
    - I like the McDonald's at Heathrow, not the one down the street. This joke was surprising since it combines my personal interest and my personal experience from my kids.
    Gain free games and money!
    bit.ly/2DCZNzj
    Love Michael McIntyre as much as I do? Then sit back and relax while this man entertains you with his awfully funny jokes!
    Make sure to watch his Big Show on BBC One on Saturdays!
    Make sure to subscribe for more brilliant videos of comedy.
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 1 064

  • Pinky Paw
    Pinky Paw Day ago +1

    Iโ€™ve loved Michael McIntyre since I was little he makes me feel safe and heโ€™s a comedy genius โค๏ธ

  • Jamie McLeod
    Jamie McLeod 2 days ago

    My girlfriend tells me this guy is funny. Do comedians tell jokes still? I watched the first 4mins and failed to laugh, just Pointing out your phone is not on charge has not comedy factor, yet people laugh and consider this to be in his no1 jokes...that's the joke!!!

  • Skyla W
    Skyla W 13 days ago

    I legit had to pause this video because I wanted to drink my water and I couldn't because I kept laughing at him

  • Fashi Washi
    Fashi Washi 15 days ago

    These are witty, relatable jokes, proof that you donโ€™t have to talk about sex to be funny

  • Rodrigue Eid
    Rodrigue Eid 19 days ago

    That car joke and the whole sketch about driving was EPIC! literally had me in TEARS!!!! GENIUS!

  • aki ross
    aki ross 22 days ago

    very funny ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜‚. I remember telling my daughter,if she brushes her teeth, she would get candy the next day ^^. I'm so glad she listens to me now.shes an amazing young woman, and a wonderful daughter ๐Ÿ˜€

  • hyndscs
    hyndscs 23 days ago

    Am I the only person that carries a power bank?

  • Abdiaziz Sheikh
    Abdiaziz Sheikh 24 days ago

    Best part 8:19. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Tattie . B
    Tattie . B 24 days ago +1

    You say that but my Gran wouldnโ€™t leave the house without a map.
    So Yh Iโ€™m glad for phones

  • mckyv731
    mckyv731 25 days ago +1

    If he had girls too, i reckon he'd have something to say about BRUsHING their HAIR omg nightmare every time

  • Genevieve Freeman
    Genevieve Freeman 25 days ago +1

    Love this guy, so clever! Absolutely top comedy.
    PS - For extreme rain in Australia it's STOP the car altogether. For massive hail it's stop under a bridge when driving your fancy car, then another reverses to get under that bridge AND THEN completely trap all others behind in the massive hail. THEN all those cars will go in the hail damage sales. Don't believe me, look up HAIL DAMAGED CARS holy moly! xoxo
    Ohhh and you've got to begin a thumb fight, "Do you want a thumb fight" as your thumbs press down on each side with each word then your thumbs "stand up" ready to fight.
    Am I annoying!? I annoy myself all of the time figuring out how my act could be better after doing it.

  • Julie Mc!!!!!
    Julie Mc!!!!! 27 days ago

    ๐Ÿ’ฏ % โญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธfaf

  • granand
    granand Month ago

    Awesome ...throughly naturally funny ...

  • Kelly Green
    Kelly Green Month ago

    Mini fart grenades... Iโ€™m dying

  • Mackenzie Stanton
    Mackenzie Stanton Month ago

    If this is his greatest jokes


    Iโ€™m a stone face ....

  • Naomi Stark
    Naomi Stark Month ago

    The shame is that I'm watching this with my phone charging ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ™Š

  • Stephen G
    Stephen G Month ago

    After watching Stewart Lee this is really really not funny to me at all.

  • Phuong Anh Tran
    Phuong Anh Tran Month ago

    Never see the same joke from him

  • Mathieu North
    Mathieu North Month ago

    I apologise to fans of Michael, but I really struggle to find him funny at all. Relatable? Yes. Funny? No. Heโ€™s just describing most relatable everyday life activities while putting on a stupid voice? Iโ€™ve seen people comment that itโ€™s good to see a comedian who has clean jokes and doesnโ€™t talk about racism etc... like heโ€™s the only โ€˜comedianโ€™ in the world who has that ability?? People like tim vine, bill bailey, James acaster just to name a few are comedians who use clean jokes, clever wordplay and comedic timing to deliver brilliant comedy. Instead of telling you how their 5 year old didnโ€™t want to eat their broccoli. Hahaha brilliant โ€˜jokeโ€™ Michael so witty... Iโ€™m ranting lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ I hope I didnโ€™t offend anyone if you like michaels comedy then thatโ€™s fine too I just donโ€™t think itโ€™s very funny

  • Sterek Hallinski
    Sterek Hallinski Month ago

    *8:18* ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Glorious

  • Lisa Godin
    Lisa Godin Month ago

    Hated Mondays. Hair wash night! I never had a bed time story. Feel deprived.

  • Lisa Godin
    Lisa Godin Month ago

    Haven't seen dungarees since I was a kid!

  • Lisa Godin
    Lisa Godin Month ago

    I loved fruits and vegetables as a kid! My favorite is brussels sprouts and love honey dew and tomatoes and bell peppers. I even love liver both chicken and beef. Mom made the best artichokes! Butter and pepper. And when I was introduced to turnips man I couldn't get enough! Love peas and carrots. But not candied carrots. Love broccoli I couldn't care less about ice cream.

  • Lisa Godin
    Lisa Godin Month ago

    I was raised in the 60's and early 70's. No cells. A second line meant a new wall phone(in my brother's case) or separate business phone in the den for dad. You went to your friend's house and you called on their landline to say you're there safely or I'm on my way home. We first had rotary then the push button. I didn't get my first cell until 2004 and need to put it on speaker so I can hear and forget about pay phones. I could never hear good out of them!

  • Lisa Godin
    Lisa Godin Month ago

    Jokes are funny with an English accent.

  • Zakia Nawaz
    Zakia Nawaz Month ago

    Whose poo is this?! Looool

  • left margin noted pm

    Child's willingness to do everything required without being told or having a battle and want to go to bed early? Where's the thermometer?

  • lili dragan
    lili dragan Month ago

    I lost the hour that they gave us... ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Andrew Gunady
    Andrew Gunady Month ago

    Legend XD

  • akidin06
    akidin06 Month ago

    first joke and i'm already dying

  • Kirstine Termansen
    Kirstine Termansen Month ago

    My diver kid, with his toys in bath,,, no problems but naboers screaming so
    I knock the doors, rush in with diver glasses, problem solved
    As food, no thret in that, my France kid eat garlic. Chilli. Sea food, and good atmosfรฆre
    So,, don't fight, win within

  • Krisy Black
    Krisy Black Month ago

    I was expecting this video to be about 10 seconds long

  • LONDON BROTHERSON
    LONDON BROTHERSON Month ago

    I was watching this while eating, and it was so funny that I had to pause it so I didnโ€™t choke

  • tommy james
    tommy james Month ago

    I can relate to this, my daughter's are just like this lol

  • William SHIPTON-JONES

    FART GRENADES ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • justsumname
    justsumname Month ago

    i hope you are joking otherwise your kids are being screwed up. No rules, no boundaries == worthless people

  • Aneta-Rea Harris-Campbell

    6:07 โ€œwhich one of yaโ€™s donโ€™t know how to flush the toilet after theyโ€™ve taken a shit? DISGUSTINGโ€

  • haider belsha
    haider belsha Month ago

    My phone had 62% ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ

  • Andrew Johnson
    Andrew Johnson Month ago

    Nothing funnier than shitty parents complaining about all the problems they have that are all completely their own fault.

  • Simonโ€™s Jokes
    Simonโ€™s Jokes Month ago +3

    Simon says follow my new joke channel!

  • Carol Ilse Anne
    Carol Ilse Anne Month ago

    So funny, love it! ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

  • ASG Advogados
    ASG Advogados Month ago

    Brilliant comedian, that manages to show the joke in the everyday simplest things, without being rude! Never get tired to watch it over and over again!

  • R. Stanford
    R. Stanford Month ago

    He sounds like a grown up Stewie, I love it.

  • jrgboy
    jrgboy Month ago

    Sorry but I don't like the weird voice he uses or the way he can't keep still, not for me...

  • Zoe Porphyrogenita
    Zoe Porphyrogenita Month ago +1

    Ear buds go missing, too.

  • Littlewhisper
    Littlewhisper Month ago

    Ahahaha the hazard lights had me rolling ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Cara Leanne
    Cara Leanne Month ago

    I accidentally put this on with my husband in bed and I was in the living room and he just came in and I was howling in laughter while M.M was on loudly about kids and stuff lol ๐Ÿ˜‚ he thought I was screaming

  • Udey Chowdhury
    Udey Chowdhury Month ago

    Not so much comedy as documentary

  • whats4mehere
    whats4mehere Month ago

    What a genius!

  • olav
    olav Month ago

    Roman day๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Mel C
    Mel C Month ago

    already laughed at 5 seconds in lmao this guy is amazing

  • piggypiggy pig
    piggypiggy pig Month ago

    Michael McIntyre spoon feeding me his warm diarrhea.

  • TRAKARU ALVAREZ
    TRAKARU ALVAREZ Month ago

    Comedy is personal preference, if you relate to it it is funny if not then no.
    Personally I have been watching MM for a few months now and live him.
    He has jokes that can be related to, and sketches that can safely be used in the classroom to teach English.
    Yes other comedians are funny, but I find that the reliance on swearing and vgar language in some comedians in order to get the laughs unnecessary and completely unfunny.
    There have always been vulgar comedians and always clean comedians, personal taste to what you like and MM has made his name with family friendly comedy and everyday antics in a humorous way.
    I know he can do the vulgar stuff, which I haven't seen for audiences that don't appreciate clean humour.

  • Nina AT
    Nina AT Month ago

    Okay now I'm falling in love with British men. Any British man here i can date?

  • Masht Ali
    Masht Ali Month ago

    Michael McIntyre is very likable, funny and smart. what else do you want?

  • cijmoalbal
    cijmoalbal Month ago

    I don't know why comedians feel they have to just swear and talk about off-colour things when there's so much humour in day to day life and he just captures it. You can never go wrong talking about your family or pets in any capacity because everyone has the same experiences i.e. it's FUNNY!

  • Bumble Stuf
    Bumble Stuf Month ago

    Why is this so relatable and true ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • sunclover
    sunclover 2 months ago

    What's breadsauce??

  • Michael !
    Michael ! 2 months ago

    Why do we do it?
    Because it's fun.

  • Meg Butler
    Meg Butler 2 months ago

    I would've said F as in fuck tbh xD

  • Delaney Houser
    Delaney Houser 2 months ago

    Booi not funny at all

  • Deana Dimond
    Deana Dimond 2 months ago

    The child thing was me when I was little

  • Nico Droster
    Nico Droster 2 months ago

    This isnt funny at all dude

  • queenie bachio
    queenie bachio 2 months ago

    Wow.. this guys actually funny!
    Luv it

  • Alice Sansby
    Alice Sansby 2 months ago

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Rosemary Yang Heather
    Rosemary Yang Heather 2 months ago

    Finally I can relate to the hazard light part๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Elena Dragut
    Elena Dragut 2 months ago

    Michael's greatest jokes should be a video with every joke he ever said because he's that brilliant

  • #chloe x
    #chloe x 2 months ago

    Haha ๐Ÿ˜‚ x

  • Just Smashing
    Just Smashing 2 months ago +1

    Just read his memoir, felt sorry for his life struggles until I found out he is worth ยฃ80m!
    He is funny, but not Frankie Boyle funny.

  • What happened was
    What happened was 2 months ago

    I donโ€™t know how I am just now finding this funny comedian ! Glad I did ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

  • ThinkNClick
    ThinkNClick 2 months ago

    Couldn't watch more than 10 mins but wow most unfunniest stand up comedian Ive ever seen. Didn't even crack a smile.

  • Doniedaff
    Doniedaff 2 months ago

    I don't really get this idea people have that all other comedians tell racist and sexist jokes, the vast majority of comedians don't. I can't think of a single popular comedian (Jim Davidson doesn't count as popular) who does this. As for cursing, it is actually more authentic for most people to say jokes with an occasional fuck where appropriate than to avoid cursing altogether as must people curse at some point. It is where excessive cursing is used to cover up lack of talent that we run into difficulties. For me, if you are trying to be a 'clean' comedian, I think it comes across as a bit false. In my opinion , no style of comedy is better than any other per se, it is down to how you perform them. I took up comedy myself three months ago and it really opened my eyes to how nuanced and complex a world it is. I never personally ffound Michael funny, but I would never criticise him having seen how comedy works, it really can be "One man and his dog" in front of you sometimes (well not literally a dog unless it's a guide dog) Michael survived that world to become a superstar, so even though he is not my cup of tea, I doff my imaginary cap to him. What I will say about him though, is while his sets don't do it for me, his send to all segment on his TV show is hilarious. Seems like a nice guy too so fair play to him and continued success.

  • Alex Casula
    Alex Casula 2 months ago

    Shampoo ha ha ha

  • Rainbow StoryTeller
    Rainbow StoryTeller 2 months ago

    My children love Michael - the charger thing in our house is so true !!!!

  • Paul Costelloe
    Paul Costelloe 2 months ago

    Michael McIntyre is a joke. What a dick.

  • Joe Harrington
    Joe Harrington 2 months ago

    'here's a normal scenario done with exaggerated voices' - pure mindless rubbish

  • Harrison Davies
    Harrison Davies 2 months ago

    3:23 had me dying๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  • Simon Carroll
    Simon Carroll 2 months ago

    i hope his kids see this some day XD

  • Kaiji Dan
    Kaiji Dan 2 months ago

    d

  • Karma Sweet
    Karma Sweet 2 months ago

    SUPER. A REAL COMEDIAN.

  • Lisa McWilliams
    Lisa McWilliams 2 months ago

    Nail sux into the wall

  • Lisa McWilliams
    Lisa McWilliams 2 months ago

    Omgosh the clock! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ก

  • Lisa McWilliams
    Lisa McWilliams 2 months ago

    Lmao to only 1

  • Lisa McWilliams
    Lisa McWilliams 2 months ago

    Lmao you are so right out EVERYTHING? ๐Ÿ˜‚โค๏ธ

  • Red Leaf
    Red Leaf 2 months ago

    He's a genius. So true ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • HappyApocalypse
    HappyApocalypse 2 months ago

    I LOVE MICHAEL!!!!!๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’•

  • Khizar Khan
    Khizar Khan 2 months ago

    My stomach hurts.. There are tears rolling down my eyes... Thanks Michael... He is suchhh a gooood comedian. 13:03 OMG I almost woke my whole house up!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Mikes Karaoke
    Mikes Karaoke 2 months ago

    I like the hoover joke. Hoover and hold your own. Or walk with the dyson. Then square up to a loo roll and oooo oooo oooo

  • Jermaine Long
    Jermaine Long 2 months ago +6

    "Oh - and the torch."๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ”ฆ

  • Chilly Fantasy
    Chilly Fantasy 2 months ago +1

    Reminds me of my philosophy teacher XD ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Ben Badu
    Ben Badu 2 months ago

    Not funny at all, really iratating, annoying voice, put him up there with Jack Whitehall and David walliams as complete dicks

  • J K
    J K 2 months ago

    My mum would've spanked my ass if I acted like this.

  • Darren O' Connor
    Darren O' Connor 2 months ago

    oh my god this fella sucks

  • Me1892 Ok
    Me1892 Ok 2 months ago +1

    Surely the title is a joke itself?

  • MS7
    MS7 2 months ago

    gold

  • Gee Sanchez
    Gee Sanchez 2 months ago

    Lol his funny

  • Molly Campin
    Molly Campin 2 months ago

    I would scream when shampoo ๐Ÿงด would even blushed past my eye

  • Billy Bob
    Billy Bob 2 months ago

    This is really bad

  • Rich Howard
    Rich Howard 2 months ago

    fart grenades lol