How changing your story can change your life | Lori Gottlieb

Japan using huawei phone..

Отличная лекция и блестящий перевод. Благодарю всех за профессионализм!

Thank you,Lory! It*s a masterpiece from a good-looking Lady.

Fantastic TED Talk, Congrats! I'm on the blank page stage already :)

tvclip.biz/video/UK7xdBJrpTI/video.html

세줄요약시급하다문샘시발

This is beautiful, especially the ending

Lori wrote a book, “maybe you should talk to someone,” really nice book! Go read it

My Take: If people would have honest open communication including with their inner thoughts/wants/desires and other individuals, it would be easier to navigate the story.
The compassionate truth boom seems to be something most are not wanting/willing to hear.
--JB.

yeah it really does

what is your aim? what is your story to be? so, get your masterpiece.

Im too dumb to get her message..

Thank you Lori, this video is planned to be just a listening practice. However It changed the way I think and act with my father, who betrayed my mom. I talk to him and understand him more, even we can not be the same as before but it's a good start. Thanks a lot !!!

Very well spoken! Thank you for the perspective.

She is basically saying have a positive mindset

Narrative therapy. Lol 😂 Lmft Masters in marriage & family, lic Theripist $85k. Student 👩‍🎓 debt Yrly salery 42k. Fml. 😞

There's always three sides to a story. My side, your side and the truth somewhere in the middle.
I read advice articles realizing the stories are one-sided and the given advice is of limited value considering they don't know the whole story.
And wonder how many relationships were destroyed by someone literally taking this advice.
I'm sure it's often well intended however there should be a disclaimer stating professional counseling should be sought before making any life-changing decisions.

This is my favourite TED talk by far, and I’ve seen some very good ones. It’s my favourite because it resonates so deeply! I “co-sign my own BS”!.. I buy into the garbage I tell myself about myself and my life... I can see the etymology, how early trauma (0-2 years, then 2-4 years) influenced this... it’s now my responsibility to “write my masterpiece”...
Out of the mud grows the lotus flower...
Thank you Lori Gottlieb!
I’d like to recommend something:- the grief ceremonies described in The Wild Edge of Sorrow... so healing and beautiful, spiritual.

What a very useful ted talk

I couldn't love this more!

change is based on what i have now. what she is suggesting and will make a difference in your life is transformation. a completely new take on life. and almost always comes from without. ie from outside your own experience. hence the importance of not working it out for yourself. you need an alternative (outside) perspective to pop the bubble of bs you are trapped in.

"The next time you're struggling with something. Remember that we're all going to die .And then pull out your editing tools and ask yourself : what do i want my story to be ? And then go write your masterpiece . " Lori Gottlieb

Fabulous! I found myself editing my own story just the other day. Thank you!

Doctor patient confidentiality mean something to you lady?

So good! Proverbs 23:7 "For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he"

She has the means to break the Story line( sequels) for her next generations by leading by example. If the husband is cheating on her, as a repeat offender by the way. She should break it off with him. She would then teach her children that that sort of behaviour is Not okay. He is not just cheating her but his children also. If she wants to change the story she should be strong and teach them all some much needed lessons. A wise man saves for his children's children.

Thats definitelly my parents.

Am I the only one who set playback speed to 0.74 to understand it properly

one question? Will you be my therapist?:) In all seriousness, great TT! Thank you.

the best seedling in the world can't grow if planted in a pot with the wrong soil

I love TED :)

This is truly worth a long listen... Replay it a few times. This is power.

One of my favourite TED talks up to date. It made me think about some behavioural patterns of people around me and of myself in a new way. I hope it will help me understand some stuff better in the future. Thank you for that! Definetely gonna share this.

This lady I horrible

New words: devastated, misleading, clarity

ed.ted.com/on/DZPR3ZPF

Great talk Ted

Thanks,this video is very fantastic !

Enthusiastically delivered drivel.

Pleas look it doing id mac wifi ? Need me thought

I love TED Talks but you lost me when you made up the spouse’s letter and then said there were real examples. Could you have used a real example? For me, this little detail turned out to be a huge turn off. I was listening attentively and eagerly waiting for the talk to be over to share it.
This TED Talk has no credibility as there’s no real verifiable story.
I know, I’m having a breakdown over this. Lol, I need help.

Amazing 👏

She sounds very Kellian.
This, if true, would be a good thing.

The therapist in the video SAYS things that make sense to me

Great inspiration
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Nice one
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Creativity is not something you have but is something you do. Thank you sir.
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Great video, and helpful. Thank you!

Phenomenal

I totally agree with the point in this speech.
In the past, I have familiar experience as the letter of that wife.
I ever hurt my friend because of my misunderstanding and my bad mood.
I thought my friend betrayed me and so I hurt her for revenge.
However, I found that I misunderstood her.
At that time I just learned the story by my poor knowledge and so I made the wrong judgement. I felt very regret with it and so sorry for her.
After that experience, I learned how importance the ultracrepidarianism is.
I should not be irritable at the time the thing occur. Instead, I should stop and calm down to think and watch more. Maybe the whole story is different than what I think. By the changing, I not only start to be more considerate but also not to be so irritable as before.

This talk definitely changed my life. Thank you so much! Keep appreciating LIFE.

I absolutely love this talk ❤️

4:12

One of the most useful stories I've ever listened to in Ted Talk, it helps me deal with myself.

Her books are amazing too!

FYI when someone's depressed they are acutely aware of their mortality; they either feel dead already, want to kill themselves, or just do not care to be here, because nothing has any meaning, nothing matters, and there is no purpose for anything, including perspectives on one's own life. So the idea of rewriting their own story also has no purpose. Their obit makes no difference to the world because whether people think you were utterly pathetic or the strongest, most resilient person to walk the face of earth is of absolutely no consequence.

"If the Queen had balls she'd be King"

Is it unreliable to say that I was abused? Should I change my story? Oh, no, I wasn't abused, I probably deserved it. No. I didn't. I'm not changing my story, because I had to work for many years to accept that no matter what I did, this sociopath would have found a way to abuse me. I'm not playing the victim, I was the victim, and now I'm a survivor. Changing my story to me never being abused, doesn't help the fact that I was. This doesn't work for everything.

she knows better english

Air quotes need to stop. They're just fucking annoying and unnecessary regardless the context.
I began changing my own story more than a decade ago...and it didn't require the insight of a therapist. It's entirely possible to do it if you're willing to quit bullshitting yourself. We are our own worst enemies. And we are definitely the biggest liars we know....even if most of the lies are directed inward. One of the most difficult things you'll ever do is to quit lying to yourself...and it isn't a one-time deal. Just as with smoking, drinking, drug addiction, overeating, etc...stopping the lies and being truthful to yourself requires diligence. And it's up to you to make it a habit.
It is incredibly fucking difficult to get others on board with this idea no matter how successfully you've done it on your own. I have found the most effective way isn't the "truth bomb" approach Lori suggests. No matter how compassionate you might be, truths will not be well received by those unprepared or unwilling to receive them. Instead, I tell stories about my journey. Friends and family have seen the positive changes in my life. They've commented on the changes. And they've asked how I managed to change and shared stories about their failure to change. Rather than dissect their stories, I've shared mine. I provide frank insight into the holes I had dug and how I deeply I had dug them. I explain how it made me feel...the struggles and denial and inward lies. And I share how I committed myself to change every day since. I give them the tools they need to shine a light on their own lives....to come to the same conclusions that I had more than a decade ago. And it's up to them to take it from there.
Most claim they want to change....but they continue to bullshit themselves...to repeat the same narratives because they fear change and the unfamiliar. I've accepted that there's only so much I can do to help them if they're unwilling to ever take the first few steps.

I want to learn the English language and I cannot find someone to speak it with me, and all that occurred to me is that I am writing a comment. I ask someone to help me to speak with me in English. Is anyone volunteering and speaking to me for information? I am a university student and I wrote this comment in Arabic and translated it in English🥺 this is my snap « qtar444 «

My parents got divorced when I was in my middle school. The letters in the talk sound so familiar that when I was little, my dad and mom would tell me totally different versions of the same story, and their words confused me for many years. When I grow up, I realized that it's not about right or wrong. It's just people can only understand the world from their own perspectives, which are usually narrow. And my solution is to honestly express yourself to others, exchange your feelings, your views, or your emotions with your partner, so you can understand each other better. It is so important and useful. Hope everyone can live a happy life instead of being trapped like my parents many years ago

Great job, Lori! Very well done!

What a bad talk! I can't believe this woman presented this self-help piece at TED.

Une belle théorie de plus, mais concrètement ?

An Amazing Perspective especially the Prison Bar Analogy

This was really good. I really enjoyed it.

Totally agreed with that

Damn I just got therapy from her

I'm desperate to learn english kindly support me

I love love love this ted talk. She speaks with such confidence I wonder how long it took her to memorize this speech!

"story"? Upon reading of title-header., Best to better action behaved direction only going onward...forward to do telling of "story" thereafter.

中文意思是什么呢？

I just wanna know, will that masterpiece story of our life come true if we right ?? Dear therapist, I m waiting for ur answer .Thank you☺

This is life changing !!!! Amazing!

Great :)

Al-anon helped me reshape my narrative....primarily for me (not for all) it taught me to examine my own knee-jerk reactions first

Whats the Name of the „behind the bar“ Art?