How changing your story can change your life | Lori Gottlieb
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- Published on Nov 22, 2019
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Stories help you make sense of your life -- but when these narratives are incomplete or misleading, they can keep you stuck instead of providing clarity. In an actionable talk, psychotherapist and advice columnist Lori Gottlieb shows how to break free from the stories you've been telling yourself by becoming your own editor and rewriting your narrative from a different point of view.
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"story"? Upon reading of title-header., Best to better action behaved direction only going onward...forward to do telling of "story" thereafter.
中文意思是什么呢?
I just wanna know, will that masterpiece story of our life come true if we right ?? Dear therapist, I m waiting for ur answer .Thank you☺
This is life changing !!!! Amazing!
Great :)
Al-anon helped me reshape my narrative....primarily for me (not for all) it taught me to examine my own knee-jerk reactions first
Whats the Name of the „behind the bar“ Art?
That could help a lot of people -with a certain amount of privileges.
Excellent!
Great Ted Talks!!!!! I’m a therapist in private practice and I will definitely being using this amazing tool. On self and in my practice, wow. Feel like life sent me a cheerleader, I edited my thinking here! Good stuff.
Speaks a lot. Says very little. Too much talking. All of this could have been covered in 3 minutes.
Ah this is Ted "Talks"
Excellent!!! ♥️
amazing ted talk :)
This is substance! Thank you Dr Gottlieb.
Wow! Incredible TED talk! "What do I want my story to be?"
Very well spoken. Well done
So good.
Amazing message to the future.
ok she's convinced me to see a therapist now
potato lala sounds great! I support that thought. Just wanted to share that the vast majority of therapists aren’t going to be a sufficient fit. The average person goes through 5 therapists before finding the right one. The wrong therapist can make things worse. Keep searching until you find the right fit.
4:00-4:30 OH, I JUST LOVER HER!!! - She's telling strangers she's an Editor, when she's really a Therapist WHEN THE REAL STORY IS SHE'S A FANTASTIC COMDIAN!💕🙌💕 LOL LIKE!!! 6:56-6:58 👑😁 9:53-9:59😉
Hello English
well, at least i know my beloved one and everyone is happy :) , thats the story
I love this talk!! ❤️👏🏽 one of my favorites. So eye opening.
Such an amazing talk. She has shared lot of amazing points. I wish most of talks were of this calibre.
That was really good. Islam taught me the same thing, focus on your own personal development and be so fair even if its against your own interest because eventually you will die and stand before your creator and have to answer why you acted the way you did in this life. God bless
True. This subject matches mine
so much wonderful information.. Im trying to catch up..
Those letters make me so angry, why they don't talk TO the people they talk ABOUT.. it's 90% the real problem and quite easily solved :D
Circles
Because of the language barriers, there are certain parts that i couldn't understand clearly which is a shame. But I want to go through it for a few more times. Hope I can get it right and get out of my recent problems.
Dear Therapist, it's hard to relinquish the role of Help Rejecting Complainer. Finding the courage to silence the voice in your head that's determined to tell one story is a step toward nakedness & looking down in the shower is humbling. But thank you.
#LoriGottlieb
THANK YOU. I have truly changed and my life is altogether changed and I’ve been freaking out! It is hard to celebrate living in/on a blank slate, all “stories” gone, done. You are correct, it’s been very much about having and gaining relationship with personal responsibility. There is one level of responsibility I’ve been really scared of though, it’s a higher level - creativity. The responsibility of creating one’s life. I hope I can be brave enough, after all the changes I’ve been brave enough to make, to create the life story my own heart wishes to tell. Thanks for the lecture.❤️
nice
Excellent. We should teach this to children and reinforce it into adulthood. I suspect the difficult part are the extremes who never see anything positive and those wearing rose colored glasses. I suspect it best not to only think or tell our true story, but live it and ignore the naysayers.
So true and what she said was in my heart
Yes, Lori!!!!! 💖
And this is why people are untrustworthy and cruel to people with autism and/or lack of empathy: people tend to be lying and manipulative, and they aren't even aware of it, and if they are, they presume everyone else is the same. People are so controlled by emotions and peer-pressure. Base their understanding on assumptions. Most people are incapable of being objective. Its disturbing and irrational to me.
Though the one thing that's even worse, is a therapist that make these assumptions.
"if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging."
I'm interested in knowing how to deliver these passionate truth bombs !! love the video
Hi Lori. Thank you for this inspiring talk. I am reading your book now and loving it...the therapist me is taking notes..the soul inside is savoring each chapter,each story...the Lit major in me has the sinking feeling I get when I realize I am coming to the end in a short while. Guess I will have to read the ‘Dear Therapist’ column to get more doses of your wit and sublime wisdom. So happy I found your work.
As a lifelong sufferer of PTSD from an early childhood event...I just paused at 7:33 (with tears) because casting off old misperceptions of rejection is like another rejection in and of itself. I have indeed been editing my story for several years now. I know what I want my story to be. You have just given me a window into a future that I can actually get to. No. More like an open door. Thanks.
To make it short: somebody who doesn't have a clue about human behaviour wants to explain how to resolve problems with your life.
Fallen human nature?
Powerful
Loved this Ted Talk
What an inspiring message from such a charismatic speaker. I am very curious as to how she and so many of these TEDtalk speakers remember their speech though! A 16 minute speech must translate to at least 8 pages of text
just wow!
So if a woman is physically or emotionally abused, it is "just her perspective" and in reality, the husband has quite a sensible reason to beat her if only you listen to his perspective instead?
Her point is don’t let yourself be stuck in a situation. She’s not saying it’s okay to do bad things, just that you have control over the outcome and have the ability to write your next chapter the way you want.
Wise woman! This is the best TED Talk I've listened! Clear and precise. Thank u so much.
This approach reminds me of the work of Byron Katie.
Dude she went HARD with that Gynecologist joke LMAO
People always say they want change. Change is scary and difficutl. Friends will tell you not to change. The rewards of a positive change are worth it. The rewards of a negative change are not.
Shades of est
When it comes to creating a better life, I agree that we should begin with freedom and change.
She's got the longest legs to torso ratio i've ever seen!!!!!
Sometimes Yt does me right❤️
I have not sexed any female since 2011........till today 29/11(november)2019 Friday
But who knows ?????
Whats cooking into brain now ???????
I can do magics in life suddenly ?????
have you tried to have src with any males ? 😅
Well, you could start by referring to your therapist by a name, rather than job title...
I *wish* I was changing the narrative in my mind with regards to my relationship. Unfortunately, broken bones and bruises are pretty hard evidence that the abuse isn't just in my head.
@rosieos Thank you- sending love and peace to you as well! You've given the most valuable gift of all- hope
Bella Nova I really hope you got out. Love and peace to you.
@rosieos I agree. I had to get a lot of things organized to be able to safely get out.
@Arif Masood You're right; trees are rooted, whereas I'm stalked.
You can leave. I did and life is soooo much better on the other side. I’m not saying it’s all rainbows, but it is better. Don’t make excuses.
That was excellent!
She didnt say that she got the email writers permission to air their personal problems in public. You could say it is semi-anonymous because she didn't assign the name but how would you feel if your private email was broadcast? Or maybe she did get permission and didnt mention it. I wouldn't write anything to her, lol. Who gets effective therapy by email anyway??
@L Battiest Why not watch the video and then comment! She says she drafted the letters that she read out
How's this?:
Dear Lori, I have been emailing a therapist, and she often uses my private, personal problems to use on the TED circuit to make money and advertise her services. I get nothing in return, not even advice other than to rewrite my story. I tried that, rewrote it as ME talking on the TED circuit about a self important "email" therapist with no boundaries, but the only result is, I've been threatened with a lawsuit! How is that better?
Yours truly, Sorta Anonymous