How Video Games Create Realism By Boring You To Death - Escort Mission

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  • Published on Feb 1, 2017
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Comments • 841

  • zeke k
    zeke k 27 days ago

    The heats first championship came way before this game came out.

  • Hank Henshaw
    Hank Henshaw Month ago

    Well that's 7 minutes I'm not getting back. Then again wasted time is not wasted time if it was enjoyed being wasted.

  • Michael Stewart
    Michael Stewart 2 months ago

    Come on how can you not read the books in Skyrim. Skyrim and minecraft the most addictive games. I remember the first time I played minecraft. That was the first night I panicked when I heard a noise and couldn't find my torch. Nothing like trying to mine yourself out of bed . Those zombies are so cute especially when they are trying to kill me

  • john doe
    john doe 3 months ago +1

    These are un-nervingly entertaining.

  • Dustin H
    Dustin H 3 months ago

    I still use Shazam.

  • Matthew Waltz
    Matthew Waltz 4 months ago

    Came here for the comments 😏 I love video games. This was a funny skit. Love your guys' humor ✊

  • Asbestos Fish
    Asbestos Fish 4 months ago

    I genuinely hate Skyrim.
    Skyrim's pretty cool though.

  • Brian Fitzgerald
    Brian Fitzgerald 5 months ago

    Ummm, Skyrim is a role playing game, lore is one of the single most important parts of this type of game. Same with fallout.

  • reviewthis18
    reviewthis18 5 months ago

    I wish I could dislike this video more than once.

  • Afro Shit
    Afro Shit 7 months ago

    RiP hoodie melo

  • Gezquester
    Gezquester 7 months ago

    Lore? What's that...is it a new type of wooden bowl or fork that I already have 100s of?

  • Cicero
    Cicero 9 months ago +3

    Poor Cicero once made sunlight souffle after reading it in _Uncommon Taste_ , and had to be rushed to the temple of Kynareth for nutmeg poisoning! Cicero's so happy that the Listener cut that grimy "Gourmet" down where he stood!!

  • hyperx72
    hyperx72 9 months ago

    "No one uses Shazam"
    You what?

  • Casi Paul
    Casi Paul 9 months ago

    He opened the Real Barenziah, he read that shitty children's _Choose Your Own Adventure_ book, and the n00b said he read the book about the vampire hunter who becomes a vampire and gets killed by a priest.
    I read all of those books, in both Skyrim AND Oblivion.

  • Yury Tsimafeyeu
    Yury Tsimafeyeu 10 months ago

    Fuck you dont even put skyrim in the title

  • Alfredo Sanchez
    Alfredo Sanchez 11 months ago

    "I bet the lore is boring as fuck" xD This had me chuckling. Thanks

  • 1135782
    1135782 11 months ago

    The Elder Scrolls' world maps are each time smaller

  • Wackyjim
    Wackyjim 11 months ago

    You forgot one genre of books in skyrim porn

  • yumri4
    yumri4 11 months ago

    well some of the books were interesting but that is like 6 out of the dozens included in skyrim base game

  • Erdhenne
    Erdhenne 11 months ago

    I had a big problem in Skyrim. I builded a house and they gave me the fucking option for a library in a tower. So I went out and searched for every damn book I could find.
    ...
    Just to collect them on a digital shelf...

  • BlazinKushFTW
    BlazinKushFTW 11 months ago

    I enjoyed the stories And lore. My favorite book is the cabin in the woods since it's one of the only horror themed books. Though I horde the books with interesting titles and say I'm gonna read them at some point.

  • Michael Moeller
    Michael Moeller Year ago

    This is my problem it will bash game for being boring because of emersion or unrealistic because of streamlining

  • Red Green
    Red Green Year ago

    Act IV, Scene III, continued
    Lifts-Her-Tail
    Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.
    Crantius Colto
    Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?
    Lifts-Her-Tail
    I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.
    Crantius Colto
    So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.
    Lifts-Her-Tail
    You embarrass me, sir!
    Crantius Colto
    Fear not. You are safe here with me.
    Lifts-Her-Tail
    I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!
    Crantius Colto
    Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear.
    Lifts-Her-Tail
    But it is huge! It could take me all night!
    Crantius Colto
    Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
    END OF ACT IV, SCENE III
    Act VII, Scene II, Continued
    Lifts-Her-Tail
    My goodness, that's quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?
    Crantius Colto
    This loaf isn't ready for baking, my sweet. It has yet to rise.
    Lifts-Her-Tail
    If only we could hurry that along. How would I accomplish such a task?
    Crantius Colto
    Oh, my foolish little Argonian maid, you must use your hands.
    Lifts-Her-Tail
    You wish me to knead the loaf? Here?
    Crantius Colto
    Of course.
    Lifts-Her-Tail
    But what if the mistress catches me? Your loaf was meant to satisfy her appetite.
    Crantius Colto
    Don't fret, my delicate flower. I'll satisfy the mistress's cravings later.
    Lifts-Her-Tail
    Very well, but I'm afraid my oven isn't hot enough. It could take hours!
    Crantius Colto
    Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
    END OF ACT VII, SCENE II

  • kear billings
    kear billings Year ago

    Nobody's talking about the fact he talked about a sequel?? It's a series, that's the fifth one, it's not a sequel, it's another installment

  • The Gaming Kid
    The Gaming Kid Year ago

    I think they recorded the gameplay on a pc and played in on a TV, look closely and you will see that you have to press E to interact in the gameplay

  • Chris King
    Chris King Year ago

    4:04 yeah that's why I do it too. I can't help but be curious about every damned note in the games. I'd prolly save lifeforce by not, but hey they're just precious hours of my life I'll never get back. Totally worth the trade to hear about mythical dragons belts worn by various viking barbarians ect.

  • Thrizzeat
    Thrizzeat Year ago

    I liked the Wolf Queen volumes. Those were great backstory for doing the Solitude missions involving her.

  • Shade Collins
    Shade Collins Year ago

    ~twitch~ Just watch the damned Nix game using the ESPN app on your damned phone ya n00b! I'm trying to Skyrim here!

  • Tync Morgan
    Tync Morgan Year ago

    i read them. i like the stories. also i like to pick difderent books to read depending on file because not all my characters like the same books.

    i get really into the perwonality of my characters.

  • Squidgybuffalo
    Squidgybuffalo Year ago

    I find Skyrim on a whole boring...

  • Jordan Martin
    Jordan Martin Year ago

    im lovin this shit

  • Omnimom S4Z
    Omnimom S4Z Year ago

    No one questions Skyrim or Elder Scrolls. NO ONE! Hail Sithis!

  • Nick Agriesti
    Nick Agriesti Year ago

    Skyrim didn't bore me at all, and why the hell are you playing in third person?

  • LunarSkyWolf7
    LunarSkyWolf7 Year ago

    "Why don't the designers make an app for reading the lore? Y'know so their roommates don't have to wait till they DIE to get their turn on the TV?"
    "Destiny did that, community whined about it not being in the game."
    I am never reaching out to that community. EVER.
    With limitless hatred and as a poor man with only one decent TV - me.

  • jirani82
    jirani82 Year ago

    Dude got my hat

  • Moira Menzelli
    Moira Menzelli Year ago +1

    Reading is apart if the game in ESO ~ Each book furthers a certain skill depending on its contents

  • Imperial
    Imperial Year ago

    The lore is interesting because you.dont like it doesn't mean true fans dont

  • Gerry Brown
    Gerry Brown Year ago

    Significantly a little better lol

  • AnonEyeMouse
    AnonEyeMouse Year ago

    The lore does tie in to the various sites and quests in the game.

  • TheRealDirtyDan
    TheRealDirtyDan Year ago

    lol I've spent almost my entire life on skyrim and never read any of the books 😂

  • Sh4dow8888
    Sh4dow8888 Year ago

    This is a real minor issue and this isn't a sports video, but I'm a Heat fan so it bothers me. The Heat's first championship was in '06, LeBron's first which happened to be with the Heat was in 2011. I've come to realize most casual sports fans assume Miami didn't exist until LeBron...

  • Vicente Temes
    Vicente Temes Year ago

    Really, there are a whole bunch of good books in Skyrim; Lusty Argonian Maid, the Thief trilogy, Argonian Account...

  • Fletcher Elsholz
    Fletcher Elsholz Year ago

    Its showing pc gameplay so im guessing he's just moving the controller

  • DutchGabbers
    DutchGabbers Year ago

    3:15
    Not true.. Books worth above 50 gold are skill books.. All others are worthless.

  • thegayhare
    thegayhare Year ago +1

    when I play skyrim I always play an argonian... Its a reflex for me. I just feel the dragonborn should be a reptile. It just makes sense.

  • Cruz Colter
    Cruz Colter Year ago

    I'm mad about destiny grimore cards because I am on PS3 and I am locked out of lore

  • Gale Misoki
    Gale Misoki Year ago

    moar escort missions, Swaim is always awesome...but the noob has grown on me more than soren 👀

  • Gale Misoki
    Gale Misoki Year ago

    moar escort missions, Swaim is always awesome...but the noob has grown on me more than soren 👀

  • Jade Leo
    Jade Leo Year ago

    Elder scrolls lore is amazing

  • deathbeam320
    deathbeam320 Year ago

    I actually read many of the books I found in skyrim

  • The Wiggly Truth
    The Wiggly Truth Year ago

    Actually there are apps with all the books in the elder scroll games, just not made by Bethesda. And the Destiny idea of how to do lore was fine, it just would have been much better with the lore ALSO being available in game....

  • Muhammed N.y Baldeh

    He got it wrong Melo shot 7/52

  • Robin Schlatter
    Robin Schlatter Year ago

    You can tell they're a couple because one is sweating balls and the other is in pants and a sweatshirt. The best couple on TVclip

  • The Rattle in the Book

    I actually like the short story "hunters apprentice" basically a highway man becomes a slave and is forced to teach a boy archery, it is revealed that the training method is to not actually shoot at targets and the slave owner decides to punish the slave for not teaching anything useful, while being beaten the highway men instructs the boy (who is a mile away) how high he should aim, eventually the boy aims right on, hitting the slave owner in the head, the final word in the book is said by the criminal... "bullseye" this book gives you one point in archery

  • Nutt
    Nutt Year ago

    When will this series come back

  • Razar Campbell
    Razar Campbell Year ago

    Barenzia's stories are kinda cool, though (Biography of Barenzia, Vol. 1-5 and The Real Barenzia, Vol. 1, 2). Especially the uncensored version, where they go into detail in the sex scene with her and the Khajit (cat-person-with-painfully-barbed-penis). She's had a pretty amazing and very long life :D

  • AlexLoeher
    AlexLoeher Year ago

    "I missed the Heat's first championship because of this game."
    He must be thinking of Oblivion because their first championship was in 2006.

  • Jayne Kyra
    Jayne Kyra Year ago

    I always read the books in games. So far, my favourite was Dishonored. GREAT, and disturbing as fuck, lore. Skyrim was a bit harder to read... and understand. But eh, Lifts-Her-Tail was fun to collect. Books are also great for decorating that awesome modded house!

  • Yeet Yeet spaghetti skeet

    I just blow past the books I open them take them and then maybe read them later.

  • XR-Phoenix
    XR-Phoenix Year ago

    When are you guys gonna do injustice? that would create a great discussion about supposedly incorruptible power being corrupted and the alteration of beloved characters

  • Alyssa
    Alyssa Year ago

    The Biography of Berenziah was qwesome. Chances folly was great. Armourers challenge. Those are all really good stories

  • Bald Man
    Bald Man Year ago

    Ewwwwww disgusting. A Bethesda game on console.

  • Victor Kreed
    Victor Kreed Year ago

    Best books in a video game are the ones that recount the war between heaven and hell that are in Diablo 2.

  • Oopsie I exist
    Oopsie I exist Year ago

    don't fucking hate on skyrim

  • Alfin Andy
    Alfin Andy Year ago

    As a heavy role-player and elderscrolls lore nerd, this pisses me off......

  • Jian Costa
    Jian Costa Year ago

    actually, some stories in the books were fun to read, thus why i collect them in my house

  • Commander Cody
    Commander Cody Year ago

    whos the gamer i saw him in dave cappelles show on netflix

  • emperor
    emperor Year ago

    escort missions on the weekly!!!!!

  • Ivysilverleaf
    Ivysilverleaf Year ago

    😶 I read all the books and lore in games.

  • dvon9392
    dvon9392 Year ago

    Fuck the witcher!!!!!

  • KingNothing125
    KingNothing125 Year ago +1

    "Makes it a little more believable..."
    *Walks through the air, 30ft off the ground*

  • Pivorock
    Pivorock Year ago

    *Holding PS4 controller, game shown on PC*

  • james francis
    james francis Year ago

    WAIT you can cook in skyrim? no seriously you can cook? sence when?

  • Agon Leed
    Agon Leed Year ago

    don't show me the back log. "I'm serious. You can NEVER show that to me" lmao. Talks shit, but he knows when his compulsiveness will kick in. I do the same.

  • jambo
    jambo Year ago

    Fucking Knicks!

  • Thee king
    Thee king Year ago

    I used to have a collection of books I would spend so much time just to get them all find them buy them and steal them

  • SOGOodAt This
    SOGOodAt This Year ago

    good daedric prince joke reference at the end.

  • Brendan Sullivan
    Brendan Sullivan Year ago

    Great!

  • darth pyrec
    darth pyrec Year ago

    the real barenziah was the best

  • 2spooky
    2spooky Year ago

    5:35 dammit Bethesda

  • S.A.M.
    S.A.M. Year ago

    So this is what Swaim does when he's not at the diner, eh?

  • Jubal McClammy
    Jubal McClammy Year ago

    Confessions of a Skooma Addict really just as good as Requiem for a Dream.

  • chas w
    chas w Year ago

    do Rainbow 6: Siege!

  • Alii Nui
    Alii Nui Year ago

    if it's bad writing it must be a video game...

  • The Noremac
    The Noremac Year ago

    So apparently they've been roommates since at least before 2011... Pretty sure they could legally call themselves married if they wanted to xD

  • vinícius bastos
    vinícius bastos Year ago

    I hope For Honor is next

  • CrystalMax7777
    CrystalMax7777 Year ago

    Seriously the best series on Cracked. And that's saying something b/c After Hours and Honest Ads are fantastic.

  • Megaton Aaron
    Megaton Aaron Year ago

    The problem with Destiny wasn't that they just put some extra and more extensive lore into the Grimoire cards for the hardcore fans, it was that the game had basically zero story on its own. Skyrim actually has a story and the books are just there to enrich the universe. Destiny said "Story? Umm... shoot stuff. If you wanna know why you're shooting stuff, you can go online and read these cards that explain things more better."

  • karmigero
    karmigero Year ago

    I want an escort mission/after hours crossover

  • RockinRedsRule
    RockinRedsRule Year ago

    I already read them

  • ThePrimith
    ThePrimith Year ago

    It's funny that he should be reading "The Real Berenziah" and talk about how mediocre the lore is, because I found that story to be insanely well written. I shared it with my bookworm sister, I loved it so much.

  • lazerbeam134
    lazerbeam134 Year ago

    I love Elder Scrolls lore.

  • Jean Rambeaux
    Jean Rambeaux Year ago

    Heat got their title in 2006 already ^^

  • Obroa-skai
    Obroa-skai Year ago

    Tbh I could write a college dissertation on why reading a Skyrim lore series is a better use of your time than passively watching some steroid-addicted assholes toss a ball around.

  • Firaro
    Firaro Year ago

    oh, come off it, some of those books are awesome. myths of sheogorath, lusty argonian maid. it shows lore you could never experience via a quest. it makes it so not every event in the world hinges upon your one character, which makes sense. plus it is much easier to make than quests, therefore making these doesnt take away time from them making quests. if they instead turned those into quests then that would require them to sacrifice other quests.
    only downside of having it ingame is if you only have one tv and multiple people wanting to use it. but you can always look it up on the wiki which has complete transcripts of all the books.

  • chronoss chiron
    chronoss chiron Year ago

    eldar scrolls online is past 90GB in size lol

  • Frankie Raffaele
    Frankie Raffaele Year ago

    sounds like me talking about the knicks

  • SN0Wleopard
    SN0Wleopard Year ago +1

    WHO THE FUCK READS BOOKS IN SKYRIM!?!?!?!?!?!

  • Julia ballentine
    Julia ballentine Year ago

    lol Michael is like my spirit animal now

  • Riversidewren
    Riversidewren Year ago

    I'm still pretty happy that I read the book on shadowmarks. How else am I supposed to know who to rob?