Why Pirates Were Nothing Like You Think - Hilarious Helmet History


Comments • 1 658

  • chrollo lucifer
    chrollo lucifer 4 days ago

    well for us un asia piracy is when you burn a movie in a cheap dvd disc and sell it without authorization.....🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Mureithi Kivuti
    Mureithi Kivuti 6 days ago

    ''This is my last episode im going to jail''
    Its been over a year. Probably in jail

  • Finn MACBOOK
    Finn MACBOOK 8 days ago

    i played sea of thieves... im thinking of a thicc man extremely drunk while eating a banana

  • twighla dove
    twighla dove 11 days ago

    You said Jolie wrong, also Jolie rouge translated to English means “happy red” yeah I love the French.

  • Joseph Flores
    Joseph Flores 12 days ago

    Masculinity is dead, he looks weak and frail.

  • country boy
    country boy 12 days ago

    oh great now i'm addicted to *CRACKED*

  • Kat Wernery
    Kat Wernery 12 days ago

    Horrible histories also has a great skit on real pirate life!!!!
    Love watching and reading about history

  • Matt Nar
    Matt Nar 14 days ago

    Put me off this video within the first minute with that anti Johnny Depp shit. Cracked, lose this soyboy.

  • Andrew Stahl
    Andrew Stahl 15 days ago

    If the chicks weren’t so hot in these tick tok adds I wouldn’t even watch them.

  • Joe59788
    Joe59788 15 days ago

    2:50 the eye patch wasn't just for at night. There wasn't windows below in the hull. You'd need night vision to be able to see. Mythbusters did a whole thing on it. episode 71

  • gabriel mansbach
    gabriel mansbach 16 days ago

    The purpose of the eyepatch was to be able to adjust to the darkness below deck where gunpowder was stored and therefore flames were highly discouraged.

  • Billy D. Kid
    Billy D. Kid 16 days ago

    Butt pirate.

  • Coge un Libro
    Coge un Libro 16 days ago

    Anglosaxons = pirates

  • Eleni 1979
    Eleni 1979 17 days ago

    Sigh, Johnny Depp before|he went nuckin futz......

  • OMID
    OMID 18 days ago

    Lol when he said the brits created the pirates, I was wondering if someone was going to relate us to today.... with isis

  • ResidentStump
    ResidentStump 21 day ago

    4:13 And there it is.

  • Dale Huxtable
    Dale Huxtable 23 days ago

    Barti ddu

  • Brent Alan Adam Landgrave

    Huh...the Spanish raping and pillaging...yeah, what's new in this day and age? They're still a bunch of looters and thieves.

    • Brent Alan Adam Landgrave
      Brent Alan Adam Landgrave 20 days ago

      +Cluckery Duckery No, just looking at how that kind of person acts and articulately describing what is seen. The Spanish are the worst people on the planet. And out of the Spanish, the Puerto Ricans are the worst of the fucking worst. How profound.

    • Cluckery Duckery
      Cluckery Duckery 21 day ago

      Brent Alan Adam Landgrave did you have a bad experience in Spain or something?

  • Harrison Yates
    Harrison Yates 24 days ago

    Oh yeah anything but white European pirates is cool! Anyone who did some simple reading on Wikipedia would know these obvious facts. Blackbeard was a genius for his skill in psychological warfare and intimidation, he had like 20 wives, he wore 3 pistols on his belt, stuck burning wick in his hat and beard,, people thought he was the devil when he boarded a ship. He went down with over 20 shots, cuts and stabs in his body. And yes they were pirates, who actually thought they were like Disney characters. They took slaves and also freed them. They used people like cargo and among them there were a few cruel ones.
    A lot of pirates adopted flags with skulls or skeletons on them.
    I don't care about comparing historical figures based on skin color, grow up. There's badasses all over the world in history. We know these best because they were part of European history and have been romanticized in European culture

  • Coldsky
    Coldsky 24 days ago

    3:06 The proportions in that pic lol, Horatio Nelson has like the world's longest neck.

  • John Pewzey
    John Pewzey 27 days ago

    Piracy is something that has existed about as long as humanity. Vikings were pirates and that was hundreds of years before the 16th and 17th century. Definitely not a “blip” on the radar. Piracy even exists today.

  • nooctip
    nooctip Month ago

    Arr matey wither ye be buccaneer, corsair, or privateer ye need to be keel hauled for this video. Most of what ye say be wrong. For instance yes pirates buried their gold. Aye no where near as many as people think. There be but two cases I know of. One was only temporary and they dug it back up a couple of day later. And the other is questionable. Some say the tale be true. Others say the Captain was just trying to bribe himself out of the trial.

  • KILL 508
    KILL 508 Month ago

    But wait, so the us was fighting pirates and the British in the early hundreds?

  • mason vancour
    mason vancour Month ago

    I’m sure someone else has said this already in the comments, but the eye patch I heard was for the captain to be able to go in and out of his captains quarters which had much less light than outside. He’s able to read maps inside and run out to see what’s happening and order the men

  • celtic barbarian
    celtic barbarian Month ago

    LOL proxy army's and they're / Anglo-American Empire are still doing it today .

  • Ankit Saha
    Ankit Saha Month ago +1

    Please make one for -Why Thugs Were Nothing Like You Think
    the world should know the truth about Thugee tribe

  • Øyi
    Øyi Month ago

    so western civilization were taking slaves from all over the world more than originally recorded goddammit yall whites really need to stop

  • asfdg asdcv
    asfdg asdcv Month ago

    I think pyrate is pronounced more like pie-rayte

  • Cisco4kid1990
    Cisco4kid1990 Month ago

    Pirates and Buccaneers are two different things a Pirate self-employed while a Buccaneer was employed by kingdoms like Britain France Portugal to attack Spain's ships filed with gold they are not the same and most pirates where at one point buccaneers but see all the gold they would capture vs all the gold they could keep aka they gave most of it to the kings of the counties and also due to laws that past outlawing buccaneers making it a crime most turned to becoming pirates living for them selves taking their ships and robbing others even after this law buccaneers got a new job to kill pirates but the same thing happen for most they would find the gold and instead of giving it to a king would keep it for them selves meaning they did in fact not work for the man and that the two where different not only in name but in jobs

  • Cisco4kid1990
    Cisco4kid1990 Month ago

    Britian Portuguese France and other counties was the real reasons for real pirates they where Buccaneers

  • Cisco4kid1990
    Cisco4kid1990 Month ago

    you couldn't even get a good enough realish pirate hat SMH

  • Sky Johnson
    Sky Johnson Month ago

    Bring back O'Brien

  • Jesse
    Jesse Month ago

    Also- as someone who's spent an ungodly amount of time reading about late 17th century bucaneers, then privateers then finally pirates into the early 18th century - he got a LOT wrong.
    Not least of which, that history of Pyrates book is actually considered to be a pretty darn good source, however - the same author penned a sequel - which is the book that's been largely discredited as mostly fiction.

  • Spika Rooni
    Spika Rooni Month ago

    bring back Cracked

  • d.j. Shelnutt
    d.j. Shelnutt Month ago

    What about Awilda (or Alvida) who formed a pirate crew comprised entirely of women?
    (Thank you One Piece.)

  • first Impression
    first Impression Month ago

    Is he really going to jail ? I can´t tell reality from fiction anymore...

  • Cernunnos  Wild
    Cernunnos Wild Month ago

    Real life is so much more entertaining than Hollywood. And the details of real history too much for them to get right.

  • Kevin Sam
    Kevin Sam Month ago

    So if pirates were not white? What is their color?brown ishh black??

  • Sulla Felix
    Sulla Felix Month ago

    "China's long history of massive pirate fleets often led by women." Except, Cheng I Sao, was pretty much the only female Chinese pirate captain. On the other hand, against what this numb nut was saying, there have been Mary Read, Anne Bonney, Grace O'Malley, Rachel Wall, and Jeanne de Clisson to name a few.

  • bricktothehead
    bricktothehead Month ago

    I never knew there was National Talk Like a Pirate Day. How funny and Interesting.

  • The Curious Noob
    The Curious Noob Month ago

    Sailing was complex and an incredibly skilled job. No random noob could be a modern sailor who needed complex math to use instruments. No wonder Cracked is dead. The whole "slave sailor" thing is a myth.

  • Emprise
    Emprise Month ago

    Cool history lesson and it's true.. Still doesn't stop you from being a self-hatred soi boi

  • misterstripes
    misterstripes Month ago

    Not a very accurate video, this is like calling pizza hut real italian cuisine.

  • Psycho_Mango
    Psycho_Mango Month ago

    Ya want my treasure you can have it I left it all in One Place..

  • Geki Games
    Geki Games Month ago

    you should explain the real barbossa

  • Abdirashid Hassan
    Abdirashid Hassan 2 months ago

    So why is he saying ''White European'' in a derogatory way? He is insulting a whole race of people. Jesus if someone used the terms Black African to me in such insulting manner I would slap the shit out of them. How the hell have white people come to hate themselves to such an extent?

  • rwcxre rwecervc
    rwcxre rwecervc 2 months ago +1

    Why does this guy come off as such a smug asshole when explaining things

  • Slimy Boy
    Slimy Boy 2 months ago +1

    Cheng Ya Sao, I think is her name was the Pirate Queen, who had a fleet comparable to the Chinese Navy. I LEARNED THIS ON EXTRA CREDITS LOOK THEM UP PLEASE THEY ARE PRETTY COOL!!!!

  • Gaming Freakz
    Gaming Freakz 2 months ago

    Youre white u cuck

  • local thankyou
    local thankyou 2 months ago

    I just wanted to learn about pirates, instead I got a gay skeleton spewing self-hatred. Cracked, more like CRAPPED.

  • Vedant Pithia
    Vedant Pithia 2 months ago

    Christopher Columbus never reaches North America, so I hope you mean Central.

  • Josh Blick
    Josh Blick 2 months ago

    The eye patches were not for nighttime. They were for going down below the decks during the day from sunlight to darkness

  • malayneum
    malayneum 2 months ago

    the eye patch theory is interesting. never knew that. good job.

  • The exploring photographer - Jacques le Roux

    04:20 yep the UK also created concentration camps and locked woman and children up in it

  • God Of Thunder
    God Of Thunder 3 months ago

    I learned a few new things from this video, thanks for the video self hating soy fueled boy.

  • sun Tao
    sun Tao 3 months ago

    WOW-what an eye-opener, thanx pretty impressive for a computer nerd:)

  • the puzzler
    the puzzler 3 months ago

    Why are pirates mean?

    They just Rrrrrrr!

  • Unnatural09
    Unnatural09 3 months ago

    If you need patreon to start your own channel for hilarious helmet I'm ready to set it up for you...please do it

  • AdonisGaming93
    AdonisGaming93 3 months ago

    pirates of the Caribbean doesn't claim to have many lawless islands....in fact they keep going back to tortuga because that was about the only place really like it....who does your research?

  • AdonisGaming93
    AdonisGaming93 3 months ago

    I was going along with it until yous aid the eye-patch night vision trick....that's been debunked....it literally would not be worth the extra few seconds at the cost of severely imparied 3D vision and ability of depth perception....plus eyes adjust to darkness fairly quickly so it would be completely stupid.

  • Kelvin Santos
    Kelvin Santos 3 months ago

    you forgot to mention GOL D. ROGER the pirate king and the location of one piece

  • TigerClaw!
    TigerClaw! 3 months ago

    How real is One Piece? I mean about the being a Pirate

  • TheReal Barbaroja
    TheReal Barbaroja 3 months ago

    I find your sarcasm annoying and slightly over the top. It seems like you tend to infuse your own thoughts into the facts and write them off as "generally accepted." Case in point, your thoughts on the accent. You lay a blanket statement claiming the accent is annoying, but this has nothing to do with the facts and everything to do with your preferences.
    Although these are my observations, I do find much of the content you provide to be interesting and informative.

  • Alexander Adelmann
    Alexander Adelmann 3 months ago

    You seem eerily comfortable talking about how boring and terrible white people are.

  • D. Jones
    D. Jones 3 months ago

    Whatever... Fuck this guy

  • colin john gilbert
    colin john gilbert 4 months ago

    yank talking about shit they don't have a clue about !
    americans wer pirates from Europe

    SSJ DON 4 months ago

    ARGHHHHHHH! Matey!

  • mzikra ayuko
    mzikra ayuko 4 months ago

    pirates are actually bunch of rebels againts collonialism of white people

  • nathan de crom
    nathan de crom 4 months ago

    White European Pirates "boring, bad and uncool" none White European Pirates ? "epic, good and cool" (yeah barbary pirates where epic right ?)

  • Mahatma Coat
    Mahatma Coat 4 months ago

    Well done on your Jeopardy winnings Alex !!!

  • Luke Taylor
    Luke Taylor 4 months ago

    This is a late comment, for sure, but I've got to say that despite the soundtrack for this video being a "poor man's Pirates of the Caribbean OST" I found myself enamored with it and following along by the midpoint of the video. I miss Cracked.

  • Rob Lombardo
    Rob Lombardo 4 months ago

    He's on Jeopardy right?

    • Richard Dimbo
      Richard Dimbo 4 months ago

      +metheus108 I did that same thing tonight. My baby thought I was "cute".

    • metheus108
      metheus108 4 months ago

      Yeah, blew my mind last night when I tuned in and he was returning champ. I'm shouting "I know that guy" to my wife as we watched

  • Ethan G.
    Ethan G. 4 months ago

    Anyone else get the sense this guy hates his own race?

  • Angela Bayley
    Angela Bayley 4 months ago

    Congrats on winning Jeopardy tonight, dude!

  • johnnymcblaze
    johnnymcblaze 4 months ago

    Pirates were people, so their ways were as varied as people themselves. That being said, my great great uncle henry morgan would capture a town then drag people to the defensive walls and take bets on how many times they would bounce.

  • Gesetzgebender
    Gesetzgebender 4 months ago

    So pirates history is epic if its none white? Dafuq...

  • Master Raven
    Master Raven 4 months ago

    I think it'd be interesting if you talked on the Pirates that plagued ancient Rome. The ones I believe put down by Pompey?

  • RC 127799
    RC 127799 4 months ago

    Most pirates where white Spanish, French, and English sailors and privateers who committed mutiny while on service in the Caribbeans and created pirate gangs.

  • Jigokukitsune
    Jigokukitsune 4 months ago

    Can you imagine if that island was your home "I like this island its a good place" years later
    First Hit by an Earthquake "time to repair and rebuild life gives you lemons make lemonade.
    Then hit by a tidal wave. "well that sucks surely we can try again"
    Then hit by disease "fucking hell lets build somewhere else!"

  • Grace Cochran
    Grace Cochran 4 months ago

    I think you mean Captain Jack Sparrow

  • Guest 115
    Guest 115 4 months ago

    "Why Pirates Were Nothing Like You Think"
    "Because our dominant single source for pirate stuff is kinda accurate, our concept of them is kinda accurate too"

  • madbear3512
    madbear3512 4 months ago

    So wtf your saying is that pirate's of the careabian isn't actually. Who would have guessed

  • Danielle White
    Danielle White 4 months ago


    FRISHR 4 months ago

    "Because words are hard"

  • Andrew L
    Andrew L 4 months ago

    Damn Cracked, don't you at least check Wikipedia before making educational videos?
    "It is sometimes claimed that the term derives from "Jolie Rouge" ("Pretty Red") in reference to a red flag used by French privateers. This hypothesis is considered a false etymology, as the phrase "Jolie Rouge" in reference to a pirate flag does not appear in any historical sources.[6]"

  • Koby Moore
    Koby Moore 5 months ago


  • Cloud 4shadowing
    Cloud 4shadowing 5 months ago

    2:50 *Bane voice*"Its born in the dark"🤣

  • Lincoln Benton
    Lincoln Benton 5 months ago

    i miss this segment/sketch....helmet history rocks

  • サイレントボイス

    The Japanese buried gold

    BOOK PILE 5 months ago

    When the legend becomes the fact, print the legend.

  • Abu bakr Mala
    Abu bakr Mala 5 months ago

    Jack sparrow was a Muslim an English pirate and crew converted to Islam , he died and buried in Tunisia

  • Jeffrey Robinson
    Jeffrey Robinson 5 months ago +3

    Poorly done,historical perspective lacking in an attempt to be PC👎

  • Wrongcoast13
    Wrongcoast13 5 months ago

    I've heard that pirates wear a patch to flip on the night vision when attacking a ship. After being in the bright sun they would need a quick switch night vision when searching the ships for defenders. Don't eye adjust naturally to night vision as the sun goes? Plus most nights on the water could be really bright out, depending on the moon phase and weather.

  • Ed Eranged
    Ed Eranged 5 months ago

    Being White and a Man is implicitly bad. - Cracked.
    Glad I unsubbed a year ago.

  • Danny Pipes
    Danny Pipes 5 months ago

    Just assuming this isn't true like everything else on Cracked.

  • Robin Lecomte
    Robin Lecomte 5 months ago

    Strange education soft wound overall legitimate galaxy boundary insect person.

  • Serveck
    Serveck 5 months ago

    The picture he chose at 7:15 was the BRIG enterprise off the coast of MAINE, where blackbeards treasure of 4 bars of silver was actually found in the isles of shoals.

  • David Lattanzi
    David Lattanzi 5 months ago

    The eyepatch was for going below decks

  • Ali Akkanat
    Ali Akkanat 5 months ago

    So nothing about Barbarossa who is RED BEARD and was an awesome sailor

  • TommyTarkov
    TommyTarkov 5 months ago

    you try to be smart ma dude let me tell you a pirat hat is not a helmet. :D