Why Pirates Were Nothing Like You Think - Hilarious Helmet History


Comments • 1 573

  • Slimy Boy
    Slimy Boy 2 days ago +1

    Cheng Ya Sao, I think is her name was the Pirate Queen, who had a fleet comparable to the Chinese Navy. I LEARNED THIS ON EXTRA CREDITS LOOK THEM UP PLEASE THEY ARE PRETTY COOL!!!!

  • Gaming Freakz
    Gaming Freakz 7 days ago

    Youre white u cuck

  • local thankyou
    local thankyou 11 days ago

    I just wanted to learn about pirates, instead I got a gay skeleton spewing self-hatred. Cracked, more like CRAPPED.

  • Vedant Pithia
    Vedant Pithia 16 days ago

    Christopher Columbus never reaches North America, so I hope you mean Central.

  • Josh Blick
    Josh Blick 19 days ago

    The eye patches were not for nighttime. They were for going down below the decks during the day from sunlight to darkness

  • malayneum
    malayneum 22 days ago

    the eye patch theory is interesting. never knew that. good job.

  • The exploring photographer - Jacques le Roux

    04:20 yep the UK also created concentration camps and locked woman and children up in it

  • God Of Thunder
    God Of Thunder 29 days ago

    I learned a few new things from this video, thanks for the video self hating soy fueled boy.

  • sun Tao
    sun Tao Month ago

    WOW-what an eye-opener, thanx pretty impressive for a computer nerd:)

  • the puzzler
    the puzzler Month ago

    Why are pirates mean?

    They just Rrrrrrr!

  • Unnatural09
    Unnatural09 Month ago

    If you need patreon to start your own channel for hilarious helmet I'm ready to set it up for you...please do it

  • Gaming with Adonis
    Gaming with Adonis Month ago

    pirates of the Caribbean doesn't claim to have many lawless islands....in fact they keep going back to tortuga because that was about the only place really like it....who does your research?

  • Gaming with Adonis
    Gaming with Adonis Month ago

    I was going along with it until yous aid the eye-patch night vision trick....that's been debunked....it literally would not be worth the extra few seconds at the cost of severely imparied 3D vision and ability of depth perception....plus eyes adjust to darkness fairly quickly so it would be completely stupid.

  • Kelvin Santos
    Kelvin Santos Month ago

    you forgot to mention GOL D. ROGER the pirate king and the location of one piece

  • TigerClaw!
    TigerClaw! Month ago

    How real is One Piece? I mean about the being a Pirate

  • TheReal Barbaroja
    TheReal Barbaroja Month ago

    I find your sarcasm annoying and slightly over the top. It seems like you tend to infuse your own thoughts into the facts and write them off as "generally accepted." Case in point, your thoughts on the accent. You lay a blanket statement claiming the accent is annoying, but this has nothing to do with the facts and everything to do with your preferences.
    Although these are my observations, I do find much of the content you provide to be interesting and informative.

  • Alexander Adelmann
    Alexander Adelmann Month ago

    You seem eerily comfortable talking about how boring and terrible white people are.

  • D. Jones
    D. Jones Month ago

    Whatever... Fuck this guy

  • colin john gilbert
    colin john gilbert Month ago

    yank talking about shit they don't have a clue about !
    americans wer pirates from Europe

  • Vegito Bruu
    Vegito Bruu 2 months ago

    ARGHHHHHHH! Matey!

  • Mzikra Ayuko
    Mzikra Ayuko 2 months ago

    pirates are actually bunch of rebels againts collonialism of white people

  • nathan de crom
    nathan de crom 2 months ago

    White European Pirates "boring, bad and uncool" none White European Pirates ? "epic, good and cool" (yeah barbary pirates where epic right ?)

  • Mahatma Coat
    Mahatma Coat 2 months ago

    Well done on your Jeopardy winnings Alex !!!

  • Luke Taylor
    Luke Taylor 2 months ago

    This is a late comment, for sure, but I've got to say that despite the soundtrack for this video being a "poor man's Pirates of the Caribbean OST" I found myself enamored with it and following along by the midpoint of the video. I miss Cracked.

  • Rob Lombardo
    Rob Lombardo 2 months ago

    He's on Jeopardy right?

    • Richard Dimbo
      Richard Dimbo 2 months ago

      +metheus108 I did that same thing tonight. My baby thought I was "cute".

    • metheus108
      metheus108 2 months ago

      Yeah, blew my mind last night when I tuned in and he was returning champ. I'm shouting "I know that guy" to my wife as we watched

  • Ethan G.
    Ethan G. 2 months ago

    Anyone else get the sense this guy hates his own race?

  • Angela Bayley
    Angela Bayley 2 months ago

    Congrats on winning Jeopardy tonight, dude!

  • johnnymcblaze
    johnnymcblaze 2 months ago

    Pirates were people, so their ways were as varied as people themselves. That being said, my great great uncle henry morgan would capture a town then drag people to the defensive walls and take bets on how many times they would bounce.

  • Gesetzgebender
    Gesetzgebender 2 months ago

    So pirates history is epic if its none white? Dafuq...

  • Master Raven
    Master Raven 2 months ago

    I think it'd be interesting if you talked on the Pirates that plagued ancient Rome. The ones I believe put down by Pompey?

  • RC 127799
    RC 127799 2 months ago

    Most pirates where white Spanish, French, and English sailors and privateers who committed mutiny while on service in the Caribbeans and created pirate gangs.

  • Jigokukitsune
    Jigokukitsune 2 months ago

    Can you imagine if that island was your home "I like this island its a good place" years later
    First Hit by an Earthquake "time to repair and rebuild life gives you lemons make lemonade.
    Then hit by a tidal wave. "well that sucks surely we can try again"
    Then hit by disease "fucking hell lets build somewhere else!"

  • Grace Cochran
    Grace Cochran 2 months ago

    I think you mean Captain Jack Sparrow

  • GeBagger
    GeBagger 2 months ago

    "Why Pirates Were Nothing Like You Think"
    "Because our dominant single source for pirate stuff is kinda accurate, our concept of them is kinda accurate too"

  • madbear3512
    madbear3512 2 months ago

    So wtf your saying is that pirate's of the careabian isn't actually. Who would have guessed

  • Danielle White
    Danielle White 2 months ago


    FRISHR 2 months ago

    "Because words are hard"

  • Andrew L
    Andrew L 2 months ago

    Damn Cracked, don't you at least check Wikipedia before making educational videos?
    "It is sometimes claimed that the term derives from "Jolie Rouge" ("Pretty Red") in reference to a red flag used by French privateers. This hypothesis is considered a false etymology, as the phrase "Jolie Rouge" in reference to a pirate flag does not appear in any historical sources.[6]"

  • Koby Moore
    Koby Moore 2 months ago


  • Cloud 4shadowing
    Cloud 4shadowing 2 months ago

    2:50 *Bane voice*"Its born in the dark"🤣

  • Neil Houlton
    Neil Houlton 2 months ago

    You quote David Cordingly as saying some of the facts in "The General History" are true, yet in his introduction to the 1998 edition he says, "We can now go further than this and say that the majority of the facts in Johnson's History have been proved to be true. There are a few notable exceptions to this". The exceptions are the early lives of Read and Bonny, some conversations and the chapter on Captain Mission and Libertatia. Cordingly agrees that the pirates of fiction and movies are not the same the real pirates but that's because they are fiction and nobody reads or watches them for accurate or historic information, at least I hope not.

  • Lincoln Benton
    Lincoln Benton 2 months ago

    i miss this segment/sketch....helmet history rocks

  • サイレントボイス

    The Japanese buried gold

    BOOK PILE 3 months ago

    When the legend becomes the fact, print the legend.

  • Abu bakr Mala
    Abu bakr Mala 3 months ago

    Jack sparrow was a Muslim an English pirate and crew converted to Islam , he died and buried in Tunisia

  • Jeffrey Robinson
    Jeffrey Robinson 3 months ago +4

    Poorly done,historical perspective lacking in an attempt to be PC👎

  • Wrongcoast13
    Wrongcoast13 3 months ago

    I've heard that pirates wear a patch to flip on the night vision when attacking a ship. After being in the bright sun they would need a quick switch night vision when searching the ships for defenders. Don't eye adjust naturally to night vision as the sun goes? Plus most nights on the water could be really bright out, depending on the moon phase and weather.

  • Ed Eranged
    Ed Eranged 3 months ago

    Being White and a Man is implicitly bad. - Cracked.
    Glad I unsubbed a year ago.

  • Danny Pipes
    Danny Pipes 3 months ago

    Just assuming this isn't true like everything else on Cracked.

  • Robin Lecomte
    Robin Lecomte 3 months ago

    Strange education soft wound overall legitimate galaxy boundary insect person.

  • Serveck
    Serveck 3 months ago

    The picture he chose at 7:15 was the BRIG enterprise off the coast of MAINE, where blackbeards treasure of 4 bars of silver was actually found in the isles of shoals.

  • David Lattanzi
    David Lattanzi 3 months ago

    The eyepatch was for going below decks

  • Ali Akkanat
    Ali Akkanat 3 months ago

    So nothing about Barbarossa who is RED BEARD and was an awesome sailor

  • TommyTarkov
    TommyTarkov 3 months ago

    you try to be smart ma dude let me tell you a pirat hat is not a helmet. :D

  • shafeeq ishak
    shafeeq ishak 3 months ago

    We want more hilarious helmet history !!

  • Nicholas Chester
    Nicholas Chester 3 months ago

    so basically the only thing in here that i didnt know about pirate was they didn't talk like that. every thing else sounds about what people think about pirates

  • Dylan Wilson
    Dylan Wilson 3 months ago

    Stole this video from Sam O Nella Acadamy cracked stole it

  • blackderby80
    blackderby80 3 months ago

    'Under the black flag' is an amazing book!

  • ahsan ali mughal
    ahsan ali mughal 3 months ago

    One piece is all about pirates it's a great show if you wanna know more about

  • T S
    T S 3 months ago

    1:24 that 'joke accent,' the West Country accent, was actually spoken all over Southern England at one point. It was during the Industrial Revolution that the non-rhotic British accent became prominent.

  • Dylan leaman
    Dylan leaman 3 months ago

    Man this channel sure loves to push its lefty agenda

    NOT SO PRO GAMING 3 months ago

    often led by women... hah
    on occasion*

  • Nick Deboni
    Nick Deboni 3 months ago

    That's disappointing... I WISH I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS VIDEO!

  • Zan bel
    Zan bel 3 months ago

    you are just talking about 16th century caribean pirates.
    Here in the mediterranean they roamed centuries before that

  • Boa Boy
    Boa Boy 3 months ago

    What's a pirate's favorite restaurant???Arrrrrrrbys🤣

  • Avid Fan
    Avid Fan 3 months ago +3

    What a cringe inducing self loathing smarmy feminised soy boy.

    • God Of Thunder
      God Of Thunder 29 days ago


    • Dad
      Dad 2 months ago +1

      You can see the soy flowing threw his veins

    • Dylan leaman
      Dylan leaman 3 months ago

      Avid Fan holy fuck is it ever

  • Connor Blackmon
    Connor Blackmon 3 months ago

    why does this white guy feel like he needs to throw shade towards white people on every video to please his audience?

  • Shantorey Wilkins
    Shantorey Wilkins 3 months ago


  • Red Rabbit
    Red Rabbit 3 months ago

    what about non European pirates?

  • Robert Martin
    Robert Martin 3 months ago

    tl;dw: The pirates you thought were so awesome as a kid were a blip on the map, and everybody was an asshole, pirates and the Royal Navy included, except the RN was even even larger asshole than you think.

  • GUNmiller2
    GUNmiller2 3 months ago

    Go watch Black Sails

  • Destraex Destraex
    Destraex Destraex 3 months ago

    Please do an entire episode on the barbary pirates. Were they part of the huge islamic world slave trade from Africa?

  • TheMKUProject
    TheMKUProject 3 months ago

    So when you said this was your last episode, was that a joke or did you expect Cracked to axe the video division?

  • Daniel Mould
    Daniel Mould 4 months ago

    Okay, impressment by the British was during the napoleonic wars, Nassau was also a lawless town, and many escaped slaves were pirates as well.

  • Rory Thomson-Ball
    Rory Thomson-Ball 4 months ago

    A segment about how the history of Caribbean piracy has been over simplified and distorted... That presents an over simplified and distorted picture of pirates from that era..

  • Mateo Bovoso
    Mateo Bovoso 4 months ago

    Crack is 1000% WRONG.

  • Mateo Bovoso
    Mateo Bovoso 4 months ago

    Cracked hates the past it seems

  • BlueBig22
    BlueBig22 4 months ago

    It’s impressive how much wrong information was given here too, it was almost as bad as Pirates of the Caribbean... almost 😂

  • Savaged
    Savaged 4 months ago +9

    So. Much. Soy.
    So. Much. Self. Hatred.
    So. Much. Embarrassment.
    Europeans are awesome.

    • God Of Thunder
      God Of Thunder 29 days ago

      Soycial justice tends to do that to people.

    • Dad
      Dad 2 months ago

      Savaged yup

  • DevilsPride666
    DevilsPride666 4 months ago

    I'm pretty sure this guy hates white people

  • Edmund Pollock
    Edmund Pollock 4 months ago

    Eye patches are for going below decks where it is dark in the day time.

  • shino88
    shino88 4 months ago

    Cracked staff must be swimming in pussy if this Adonis is anything to go by....

  • Ian Curran
    Ian Curran 4 months ago

    Why do you gotta ruin all the movies I like, this channel is like one big buzz kill

  • moritz ashe
    moritz ashe 4 months ago

    U can not tell all that stuff u so confident proclaim as lie true nor false. What makes u so sure. Documentation wasnt that advanced then. Feels like u just wanna destroy childrens dreams because uself cant really feel euphoria alot. Sort of a hater thing. Get a life bro

  • Deni Ytb
    Deni Ytb 4 months ago +4

    the pseudo intellectual obnoxiousness displayed makes these tough to watch

  • Problem 4You
    Problem 4You 4 months ago

    Why does Cracked videos, have dislikes?

  • Cymes
    Cymes 4 months ago

    2:51 The Bane Impression was spot on.

  • Amir Chibane
    Amir Chibane 4 months ago

    Would love an episode about the berberic pirates in the mediterranean

  • ilyas hoti
    ilyas hoti 4 months ago

    How about illyrian pirates

  • Kees Kaas
    Kees Kaas 4 months ago

    First video I watched on this channel.
    Also the last. You're horribly annoying.

  • MTGGeeksGaming
    MTGGeeksGaming 4 months ago

    Is it assholish to consider slaves as cargo if literally the entire rest of the world did?

  • Edd Grs
    Edd Grs 4 months ago

    I want to see the Chinese and Japanese pirate movies. But they all must speak with the official pirate English accent.

  • David Malleous
    David Malleous 4 months ago

    What a soyboy. And I say that in sadness, not disgust. Macaulay Culkin could give him a testosterone injection. The soldiers who stormed Normandy in WWII and are 90 years old now have higher masculinity indicators. And the PC/self hate. Plus he lectures us that "white European pirates" were a vanishingly small percentage of pirates, you white chauvanists you, then goes on to lecture 100% about white European pirates. But he lectured us about our racial insensitivity so he is virtuous--aren't you impressed by how sensitive he is?

  • anime fan
    anime fan 4 months ago

    Do you know anything about gays and lesbians in the military or Army histories

  • Blackdraq
    Blackdraq 4 months ago

    Just wanted to point out that when you went to hand to hand battle on a ship, you'd board on the deck, in the daylight, but 30-70% of a ship is below deck, lit mostly by candles an the occasional gun port. This meant that a common defense was to abandon the top deck, and ambush as attackers would descend into the ships depths, who of course, were not acclimated to the dim environment below deck. Wearing an eye patch was super useful for this descent, as you'd swap eyes, and immediately had a much better chance of not charging onto a sword. Loved the rest of the video, just wanted to provide a smidge of clarification on the *likely* use for an eye patch for battle.

  • Stekar Knugen
    Stekar Knugen 4 months ago

    They really obsess about this "white european" thing.

  • fizzie
    fizzie 4 months ago

    So... when is luffy gonna be thier king?

  • Spitx Diogo
    Spitx Diogo 4 months ago

    I know it doesn't correlate that much but I don't like the way Portugal is often put aside and after all it had some sort of major role on the land and seas ;)

    JOMOGO 4 months ago +2

    are you a self-hating white guy?

  • Mandeep Singh
    Mandeep Singh 4 months ago

    Must have been fun to be a pirate.. the Hollywood one.