A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Wizard

  • Joseph makes a dumb Dungeons and Dragons guide for dumb people
    Special Guest Zee Bashew:
    8 bit can-can by bubly:
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Comments • 80

  • JoCat
    JoCat  8 months ago +16712

    This is not the final episode, but definitely the last one for a while. I'm gonna take a hiatus from the series and do some other projects I've wanted to do in the meantime. thank you all for all the wonderful support! see you when the burnout recovers (or in my other videos too if you watch those, which is pretty cool of you if you do)

    • Jave Padolina
      Jave Padolina Month ago

      You forgot bladesinging wizard

    • Kingwolfs alternative account
      Kingwolfs alternative account 2 months ago

      Do a full version of your song

    • Roran Stronghammer
      Roran Stronghammer 2 months ago

      please make one for the sentient weapon class

    • Lucas Fisher
      Lucas Fisher 3 months ago

      Necromancy and fire ball so you can make a flame skeleton that strikes fear and bone shards in the enemies.

    • Lucas Fisher
      Lucas Fisher 3 months ago

      Necromancer that’s also a Druid who can make golems out of trees and be a god since the circle of life bends at your command

  • Mike L
    Mike L 2 hours ago


  • DJFlare84
    DJFlare84 8 hours ago

    Wait. Are you telling me that in 3 pages of test questions, FireBall wasn't the answer to at least ONE of them!?

  • James Butcher
    James Butcher 17 hours ago

    love this collaboration.

  • Dance Officer
    Dance Officer 22 hours ago

    pretend you're someone elses dad, disguise, mislead, take on their life? .... I like it

  • d tczyk
    d tczyk Day ago

    That just Monika just fireball thing was amazing

  • Vivienne Grace
    Vivienne Grace 2 days ago

    I didn't understand this reference for many months but I do now-

  • Noel2222
    Noel2222 2 days ago

    1:48 The fact he didn't include enemies as a cause of death just amplifies how destructive fireball is

  • bionic link
    bionic link 2 days ago

    It's so perfectly stopped so that it can't be looped, AHHHH

  • Darkittrn
    Darkittrn 3 days ago

    Hello person in fireball distance.What's that your a corpse. Too bad you're still in fireball distance

  • Broken Witchingflower
    Broken Witchingflower 3 days ago +1

    This is beautiful

  • Grench329
    Grench329 4 days ago

    bet you didnt notice the cast of minis on the desk increasing episode by episode

  • hamsterdoom360
    hamsterdoom360 5 days ago

    Dragonborn don't have tails...

  • JageshemashFTW
    JageshemashFTW 5 days ago

    Welp, now I ship the wizard and the fighter.
    Stop making me ship non-characters, JoCat!

  • Oreon Peregrino
    Oreon Peregrino 5 days ago

    Dammit JoCat. Stop making me fall in love with you.

  • TheRaven
    TheRaven 5 days ago

    9th level fireball is the best, oh strong monster just dead in seconds

  • Dexter McGuire
    Dexter McGuire 6 days ago

    I play a wizard that only uses firebolt. A can trip. It’s like fireball but is single target. And magic missile.

  • peter siri
    peter siri 6 days ago

    0:56 Unless goblins ambushed you and stab you with poison dagger.
    Only anime fans get this.

  • Shara
    Shara 9 days ago

    Evocation : elements to burn or shock or freeze your friends
    Necromancy spares the dying, or you could just ressurect them
    Abjuration keeps you safe and almost makes your armor fair
    Divination helps you sense, detect, commune, and talk to bears
    Conjuration, portals and make stuff for free
    Transmutation, turn things into other other things
    With enchantement, buff debuff or in-between
    And illusion, visual tricks to prank the brain with fear and silence, blur and go invisible pretend you're someone else's dad disguise mislead take on their life
    War magic is like a tank mage, getting a lots of defence, flexing as you cast

  • Benjamin Rensin
    Benjamin Rensin 9 days ago

    "Registered Hex Offender"

  • Strange Person 32
    Strange Person 32 9 days ago

    Does anyone know what the test at 2:56 means?

  • Matteo Mancinelli
    Matteo Mancinelli 10 days ago

    I NEED a 10 hour loop version of the school of magic song. Please?

  • Christian NoName
    Christian NoName 10 days ago

    I just rewatched this for the 20th time, and yet it’s the first time I’ve caught the Garbo reference at 2:42.

  • Pea Shooter
    Pea Shooter 10 days ago

    Laughs in immunity to fire

  • Mr Gold Narwhal
    Mr Gold Narwhal 11 days ago

    "Just fireball" where's Monika?
    Fireball. That is your answer.

  • Snake or Break
    Snake or Break 11 days ago

    "Just Fireball"
    *Meteor Swarm wants to know your location*

  • SuperSpells
    SuperSpells 12 days ago

    This episode is great, just wish Bladesingers had made the cut to get mentioned in song XD

  • General Skalinera // Neon Silver

    A registered Hex offender.

    FL4MING R4VEN 13 days ago

    I want to be a Transmutation Mage... totally not because of the Bowsette... totally...

  • I-am-universe
    I-am-universe 14 days ago


  • Theinsanegamer10
    Theinsanegamer10 15 days ago

    2:22 half speed or .25 for best effect.

  • kira korosu
    kira korosu 15 days ago


  • Viggan Ex
    Viggan Ex 15 days ago

    what if the enemy is wet or immune to fire

  • Casual CS
    Casual CS 15 days ago

    3:08 Kira in jojo in a nutshell:

  • the guyman
    the guyman 15 days ago

    Just Jonika

  • Robocrafter 0927
    Robocrafter 0927 16 days ago

    2:47 just a replay button for myself, don’t mind me

  • xXFlowerFamKXx
    xXFlowerFamKXx 16 days ago

    Whoops, probably burned down all of your spellbooks Zee. Now all you have is the small amount of spells that you remember for the rest of your wizard life.

  • SugarWolf211
    SugarWolf211 17 days ago

    I love terry crews

  • Temp
    Temp 17 days ago


  • Eamon Bell
    Eamon Bell 17 days ago

    My next character idea is an orc wizard named Big Brian (as opposed to big brain). He has an int stat of 6, and he physically bullies magic into what he wants it to do.

  • TomasPabon
    TomasPabon 17 days ago

    So, watching this made me wanna play a literal tank as a character...

  • Green Apple
    Green Apple 17 days ago

    The character for this episode is so cute.

  • snarkmaiden *
    snarkmaiden * 18 days ago

    I ship goblin and war mage

  • Demétrios Miculis
    Demétrios Miculis 18 days ago

    Man the ddlc aways crack me up

  • Vierynbryn
    Vierynbryn 18 days ago

    i find this offensive

    Meteor Swarm is fireball on roids

  • Rman 88
    Rman 88 18 days ago

    its funny, fireball works..until you face something that is immune to fire..

  • jacob hernandez
    jacob hernandez 18 days ago

    5th level fighter for "second attack" and "action surge"
    and 15th level wizard, cast 4 magic missiles 1 at 8th level, one at 7th, one at 6th, and one at 5th.
    for a total of 34 darts doing 34d4+34 force damage.
    minimum of 68 force damage
    maximum of 170 force damage
    and average of 119 force damage
    or you could target up to 34 creatures in one attack.

  • Piero Caramelli
    Piero Caramelli 21 day ago

    As the size of the explosion increases the number of social situations it is incapable to solve approaches zero.

  • hombreg1
    hombreg1 21 day ago

    Dood... This was brilliant!

  • Alex K
    Alex K 24 days ago

    I kinda want to know what he would have had to say about bladesingers

  • Jaden D
    Jaden D 24 days ago

    I love how he left a little hint to the artificer goblin at the end

  • Allen Stanley
    Allen Stanley 24 days ago

    I watched this when it came out and only now do I recognize the Doki Doki literature reference joke.

  • Bryson Jewitt
    Bryson Jewitt 24 days ago


  • Pink Lion Gaming
    Pink Lion Gaming 24 days ago

    I'm about too prestidigitate all over your desk

  • Mark Irwin
    Mark Irwin 24 days ago

    The opening to this reminds me of a fantastic book called Questing Sucks.

  • Sprout Does Stuff
    Sprout Does Stuff 25 days ago

    1:53 how didi you get a screenshot of my desktop?

  • Elijah Leach
    Elijah Leach 26 days ago

    just fireball

  • doubledamn
    doubledamn 26 days ago +1

    Other people nod along with the lizard man at the end, right?

  • Santiago
    Santiago 26 days ago

    Is it true that fiends can be a wizard's familiar? or is it horse radish?

  • Cooper Woodliff
    Cooper Woodliff 27 days ago

    Only after like my 10th watch of this do I notice that on the school of magic wheel, Transmutation Magic is just labeled “Trans Rights”. 10/10 would use magic to get rid of dysphoria.

  • Leo Robinson
    Leo Robinson 27 days ago +1

    Evocation: elements to burn or shock or freeze your friends
    Necromany spares the dying, or you could just resurrect them
    Abjuration keeps you safe and almost makes your armor fair
    Divination helps you sense, detect, commune, and talk to bears
    CONJURATION Portals and make stuff for free
    TRANSMUTATION turn things into other things
    WITH ENCHANTMENT buff debuff or in between
    AND ILLUSION visual tricks to prank the brain with fear and silence blur and go invisible pretend you’re someone else’s dad disguise mislead take on their life
    War magic is like tank mage getting lots of defense flexing as you cast (BLOCK) (BLOCK) (BLOCK) (BLOCK) (BLOCK) (BLOCK) (BLOCK)

  • Mark Metcalfe
    Mark Metcalfe 28 days ago +3

    “The Wizard is the most powerful character of you ignore every one that’s better, which is all of them”

  • Danny Reyes
    Danny Reyes 28 days ago

    "And one of these days you're going to find yourself in an encounter where you just suddenly realized that WHY YES...
    *You are indeed in fireball range*"

  • Chalchii
    Chalchii 28 days ago

    So wait, there's going to be a low chance of having a romance for my female High Elf Wizard, right? Oof..

  • Onny Farizyandi
    Onny Farizyandi 29 days ago

    Wizard that spam fireball is basically a hobgoblin from academy of devastation. They literally only learn about evocation magic. They don't care about other school or even theory of magic. They just treat wizards as mobile artillery.

  • Retro_WrathX13
    Retro_WrathX13 29 days ago

    "What's your point, person within fireball distance?!"

  • Winter Nights
    Winter Nights Month ago

    I love a sorcerer. Screw the wizard. Also rip my retired maxed out sorcerer

  • the real Average_ Arachnid

    i dont like how the generalization of a wizard is the thing i want and the generalization of the sorcerer is the thing i hate

    I'm a sorcerer

  • the wolf studio
    the wolf studio Month ago

    I have seen the power of War Mage...

    *It is beautiful.*

  • Alexander Schott
    Alexander Schott Month ago +1

    Ah yes, the DM's bane.

  • Alex Abel
    Alex Abel Month ago

    No one going to talk about the quick war mage and goblin date here 3:17 ?

  • ergo proxy
    ergo proxy Month ago

    I can't tell if this is a Dark Souls reference or if I'm overthinking it and need to get help because I have a crippling addiction to the Soulsborne series...

  • MysticSkullz
    MysticSkullz Month ago

    Bro, I couldn't HANDLE the several block of flexing tank wizard.. Lol

  • Logan Kenoras
    Logan Kenoras Month ago

    dispel magick

  • Starflare the Wizard

    I ship this wizard boi with the monk lady. Imagine how cute that would be. The monk girl always standing up for the wizard boi in troubling situations. It be adorable.

  • Ninjajack 64
    Ninjajack 64 Month ago

    I’ve been waiting my entire life for a chance to cast friends.

  • Pilier51
    Pilier51 Month ago

    I just found my new favourite youtuber

  • Orion Gjoni
    Orion Gjoni Month ago

    I want to take the wizard test. I'm confused to whether they give you a certain list of prepped spells or if it is open spell list.

  • Ash Lam
    Ash Lam Month ago

    the references are nice

  • HalfALasagna
    HalfALasagna Month ago

    What is the original song for the remix in the end? I can’t remember