Trump's Primetime Address, Google's Virtual Assistant - Monologue

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  • Published on Jan 10, 2019
  • Seth Meyers' monologue from Wednesday, January 9.
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    Trump's Primetime Address, Google's Virtual Assistant - Monologue- Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Comments • 402

  • ioana ilea
    ioana ilea 22 hours ago

    how about the UK? they are a medieval KINGDOM

  • L S L
    L S L Day ago +1

    Mr. Trump, have you given any thought to the 2,996 victims and their families of 9-11? Terrorists committing mass murder by hijacking U.S. planes. Due to your Government shut down we now have unpaid and limited TSA workers, thus less security in our airports. You are leaving our country wide open and unguarded. Perhaps you need a reminder... the deaths on 9-11 were not caused by Mexicans crossing the border.

  • Julianne McLaughlin
    Julianne McLaughlin 5 days ago

    Props to the writer who came up with the "forest" joke; that was gold.

  • Sam Sung
    Sam Sung 6 days ago

    meyers: "more gravy for your brain?"
    liberal: "yes please!"

  • Java Cup
    Java Cup 6 days ago

    come on you can do better

  • Walter Pearlman
    Walter Pearlman 6 days ago

    Thanks Seth for President Trump !

  • JT Tilly
    JT Tilly 7 days ago

    "It" had a prime-time address? Didn't even know. Nor do I care what this entitled foreign regime has to say, because its dead, they killed the constitution. Follow the Declaration of Independence. "That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."
    To think I used to believe and care about what these idiots used to say, the GOP corporate government and their conglomerated media did that in. Resist always fighting for freedom. Is it a prerequisite for all media to report the people with zero credibility dissing common decency and whats best for us all instead of reporting solutions or a comments from wholesome individuals? Is that asking too much? Negative breeds more negative.

  • CAIntegrity
    CAIntegrity 7 days ago

    Me: Put hots on the sandwich
    Irish boy: we have banana peppers for hots
    #truestory

  • Bill Freese
    Bill Freese 9 days ago

    I'm so glad they censored the second Dick so we wouldn't be offended.

  • Sini Cide
    Sini Cide 9 days ago

    I don't know the law but he is basically holding Americans hostage to get his way. Isn't that illegal somehow?

  • Angel Tears
    Angel Tears 9 days ago

    Donald & Melania have separate bedrooms. You don't think she would sleep in the same bed where he eats his buckets of greasy chicken & smelly cheeseburgers do you?

  • sfdtjr
    sfdtjr 10 days ago

    You morons do realize that the $5.7 billion is for maintenance for about 30% of the wall which is already built. Not to mention the fact that he stated that a large portion of this will go towards humanitarian efforts such as developing their refugee camps and giving the immigrants attempting to cross more supplies. I am no Trump supporter but you guys need to expand your views on people greater than the following: CNN, MSNBC, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, Jimmy Fallon, NY Times, Seattle Times, & CBS. You are being told only portions of the story by the democratic party through yellow journalism to further their agenda because they still cannot fathom that their Hillary lost. It has been nearly three years and it seems the only thing the Democratic party is in agreeance with it that "Trump is bad", while not yet looking at the vast positives Trump has created which he promised in his campaign i.e. job growth (unemployment is at an all-time low), securing our borders so we don't end up like France or South Korea, and removing corrupt politicians: only a few examples. For the love of god do research before commenting and don't utilize Google to do it as their results are altered heavily for an agenda as left-leaning news corps can pay Google to have their results pushed towards the top meaning they aren't organic.

  • search/local HTX YouTube

    More readers! 🤓

  • zztop3000
    zztop3000 11 days ago

    Well basically all medieval kingdoms are thriving today, France, England, Germany, Poland, Russia, Spain, basically all European countries

  • StellaDawna
    StellaDawna 11 days ago

    and THIS is why i don't understand American audio censorship

  • nmeunier
    nmeunier 11 days ago

    Sounds like Google Assistant has its hands full figuring out which dick is which dick. What if you're talking about Dick's dick?

  • erdvilla
    erdvilla 11 days ago

    Seriously, someone slap Brazil; they tried making spicy bees and that turned out a disaster, and now they go for tomatoes.

  • Betty Schueler
    Betty Schueler 11 days ago

    It is sad to see that Democrats are still rolling out the moldy crew to represent them to the public. I don't know which was sadder, Trump's speech or the Pelosi/Schumer duo imitating the couple in Grant Wood's American Gothic. I almost spit out my coffee when I saw that pair behind the podium. The Dems really need to find better people, to represent them to the public, if they want to win in 2020.

  • WildwoodClaire1
    WildwoodClaire1 11 days ago

    Not only is the wall expensive, the $5.7 billion would not begin to pay for the legions of archers, the trebucets, the ballistae, and the cauldrons of melted lead we'll also need to defend the wall and repel the invaders.

  • Charlotte Innoecent
    Charlotte Innoecent 11 days ago

    I want the Luggage! Tell me it follows me on hundreds of little feet?

  • mori1bund
    mori1bund 12 days ago +2

    Yeah, Lindsey, your party was done the day you elected Trump as your candidate.

  • Pam Timmins
    Pam Timmins 12 days ago

    So funny Seth, why are their people standing behind Trump? Is it so he can be reminded of his ego stroking rallies? What a fool. Impeach Trump already stop the madness.

  • Mysterious Cat
    Mysterious Cat 12 days ago

    Doooo

  • Imran Khan
    Imran Khan 12 days ago +1

    Walls work in Israel because the Palestinians are held in an open air prison the Gaza strip. No tools etc.

  • Octavio Garcia
    Octavio Garcia 12 days ago

    dejame te explico cuando tu vaz yo ya fui identifico la mentira esta en lo mas profundo del mar que kieres contarme jusus fue hijo de maria DIOS PADRE PODER..

  • 1221H1221
    1221H1221 12 days ago

    Did he really tweet that?

  • Jon Kim
    Jon Kim 12 days ago +1

    You know what's ironic and really funny and sad at the same time. One argument for the wall is that the immigrants are stealing our jobs 😂😂😂 and Trump goes and puts hundreds of thousands of people out of work

  • Jennifer Williams
    Jennifer Williams 12 days ago +1

    Why is the president talking about his married life troubles? He's so un-presidential

  • Konstanze Sanders
    Konstanze Sanders 12 days ago

    LET'S EAT DICK, DICK!

  • Zonofv 1
    Zonofv 1 12 days ago

    Isn't holding a government ransom for money... I don't know, illegal?

  • Mario Muccino
    Mario Muccino 12 days ago

    SETH YOUR PATHETIC LOOK FOR ANOTHER JOB YOU SUCK. AT THE ONE YOU HAVE. YOUR A MORON.

    • Mario Muccino
      Mario Muccino 11 days ago

      Mary Rose Kent DON'T WORRY ABOUT MY ENGLISH WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN. AND AGAIN A MORON IS A MORON. JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

    • Mary Rose Kent
      Mary Rose Kent 11 days ago

      Mario Muccino
      It’s rich-someone who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re calling someone else a moron.

  • Sleaz Harvey
    Sleaz Harvey 12 days ago

    Who’s to say he’ll accept a deal? Maybe he’ll beat his chest and take a dump on the presidential desk while claiming victory

  • Bright Glory
    Bright Glory 12 days ago +1

    Seth the trade deal joke is the funniest damn thing I've ever heard you say.

  • L. T C.
    L. T C. 12 days ago

    Honestly why don't we just give it to him 5.7 bill seriously isn't enough to even build it.

    • Mary Rose Kent
      Mary Rose Kent 11 days ago

      L. T C.
      Because teachers have to buy their own supplies for their classes, and teachers barely make enough to survive on as it is. If we’re going to toss around $5.7 billion, I’d rather it go to schools.

  • zen 123
    zen 123 12 days ago

    I feel like young, energetic and charismatic leaders should take over from Pelosi and Schumer.

    • Mary Rose Kent
      Mary Rose Kent 11 days ago

      zen 123
      Pelosi is the perfect Speaker of the House for the 🍊🍄💩. Once we have a Democrat in the WH, it’ll be different.

  • Terry Craft
    Terry Craft 12 days ago +1

    Thatsa one spicy Tomato!

  • MadriFilmArt
    MadriFilmArt 12 days ago +1

    Somebody tell Lindsay Graham, It's Already the end of your party!

  • mdudegamer
    mdudegamer 12 days ago +1

    Freaking Lindsey Graham. "We can't do anything that would displease Donald Trump because it would ruin our party." You utter dimwit, standing up to Trump would actually make people like your party more.

  • Autum Breeze
    Autum Breeze 12 days ago +1

    What's beyond stupid is he's now saying he NEVER said Mexico will pay for it... as if the billions of videos of him saying literally that don't exist, especially when his supporters have played those things like they're the word of God.
    It's like he thinks everyone in the world has short term memory loss.

    • Mary Rose Kent
      Mary Rose Kent 11 days ago

      Autum Breeze
      Or perhaps because he a pathological liar he doesn’t realize that most people actually *care about the truth.*

  • Badmonting
    Badmonting 12 days ago +1

    how... how is one of the most unintelligent humans running a country.. into the ground btw

  • Sinister Veridicus
    Sinister Veridicus 12 days ago +1

    Trump is doing more damage to Americans than illegal immigrants.

  • MediaFaust
    MediaFaust 12 days ago

    That punctuation trick was neat. How to activate the censor bot, like.

  • Thomas Ridley
    Thomas Ridley 12 days ago +1

    It must be bad when your luggage asks "is it becuase ive gained wieght"

  • michael ruiz
    michael ruiz 12 days ago

    the flag burners channel here...

  • Marcus W
    Marcus W 12 days ago

    *the USA republic will be RE-Organised... INTO THE FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE!!!!!!! For a safe and secure society* was that his speech? Lol

  • Al69BfR
    Al69BfR 12 days ago

    And the French have some predictable misunderstandings when they say „I hate Dick!“

  • Panther15 ZodiacGods
    Panther15 ZodiacGods 12 days ago

    A medieval wall, replete with hot lead cauldrons every 50 feet, and archers with flaming arrows, every 100 feet. THAT oughtta fix'em!

  • Efemral
    Efemral 12 days ago

    Because nothing beats a wall! (What's that? A ladder? I don't know what that is.)

  • Arief Rahmat
    Arief Rahmat 12 days ago

    mother fucker 😁😂 bit.ly/watch-film-here

  • Samuel Hwang
    Samuel Hwang 12 days ago

    Sorry but I didn't watch the address. FOR REASONS.

  • Bo Hogland
    Bo Hogland 12 days ago

    Is a draw bridge too much too early?

  • Tristan Clawson
    Tristan Clawson 12 days ago

    I love how only the second dick was bleeped.

  • K O'C
    K O'C 12 days ago

    It's a trade deal. ROFL

  • Vince Fernandez
    Vince Fernandez 12 days ago

    If you think about it, trump is to Vladimir as Wreak is to Ramsey Bolton (#GameOfThrones)

  • Methylenedream
    Methylenedream 12 days ago

    I like how a comma forced NBC to blur Dick.

  • Rosita A. Huff
    Rosita A. Huff 12 days ago

    I am German...I can tell you...walls don't work...,!

  • Rosita A. Huff
    Rosita A. Huff 12 days ago

    Blotus has lost his negotiating skills...and what was left of his mind...

  • Sebastian Hernandez
    Sebastian Hernandez 12 days ago

    We don't have that John Oliver HBO money 😂😂😂

  • junglechick13
    junglechick13 12 days ago

    Apparently the Rio Grande isn't a wide enough moat

  • MilitaryGirl USA
    MilitaryGirl USA 12 days ago

    Like I said before if he wants some type of wall..why not Jurassic Park fencing. I'm very opposed to any wall and pro border security who I have the upmost faith in. I should know first hand as I cross into tijuana from S.D. They are VERY capable. Watch airlines and cargo better...there's your war on drugs,at least partially. Oh and there's criminals and rapists born and bred here in the good ol' USA...white as can be and living in every state. So stop fear mongering the small minded and elderly.

  • Benjamin Vestergaard
    Benjamin Vestergaard 12 days ago

    Denmark still standing, albeit much smaller than before the dark ages... Stupid counter argument, you can do better c'mon.

  • Bubba Ganoosh
    Bubba Ganoosh 12 days ago

    Come on Seth you don't really believe Melania and Trump sleep even in the same room? He's got to consider himself lucky they're in the same house. Lucky for her she no doubt has an armed Secret Service agent outside her room.

  • seascapewa
    seascapewa 12 days ago

    Is that suitcase made of sapient pearwood?

  • Dr. Mantis Toboggan, M.D.

    Insert clip of Ving Rhames saying "I'mma get medieval on yo ass."

  • rabit818
    rabit818 12 days ago

    Bezo’s divorce, who gets the 60” flatscreen?

  • Listy
    Listy 12 days ago

    Seth, you're hot!

  • TheZgfzd
    TheZgfzd 12 days ago

    He’s really not funny is he?

  • Warren NZ
    Warren NZ 12 days ago

    What was the point of blanking out the 2nd "Dick" in that final comment?

  • Sani Stielia
    Sani Stielia 12 days ago

    Lindsey just lost his compas. SOS SOS SOS

  • Sani Stielia
    Sani Stielia 12 days ago

    Just do not give it to him!!!

  • Choo Choo MotherTrucker

    Okay, Google. Tell Trump to eat a Dick!

  • In4cer in4cer
    In4cer in4cer 13 days ago

    No, absolutely not. Don't give the dumbass 1 penny for stupid wall.... I cannot believe Republicans are putting party ahead of country. WTF???

  • Kimberley Smith
    Kimberley Smith 13 days ago

    At 1:25 cracks me up. I love his Lindsay Graham impressions.

  • pop5678eye
    pop5678eye 13 days ago

    China built the greatest wall in history. You know what is most known for? Costing the lives of tens of thousands of Chinese laborers. You know what it is not known for? Keeping any enemies out!

  • Luis Avalos
    Luis Avalos 13 days ago

    www.gofundme.com/government-shutdown-victims&rcid=r01-154714722825-66e604877004468e&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_m

  • claire bigelow
    claire bigelow 13 days ago

    theres nothing left for us to do.. is either IMPEACH Trump or send him to prison.. with his entire family.. or both

  • Cristina Lee
    Cristina Lee 13 days ago

    Is it just me or does chuck schumer remind me of creed bratton? Not the actor version, but the office version.

  • docmursh27
    docmursh27 13 days ago

    what a disgrace to America

  • FREEDOM GUARD
    FREEDOM GUARD 13 days ago

    Trump will resign in 2019 in exchange for immunity
    www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-resign-2019-family-immunity-1276990

  • LovinLife
    LovinLife 13 days ago

    Graham is the king of flip-flop, so he needs to STFU.

  • Michael Kelly
    Michael Kelly 13 days ago

    You mean tomatoes aren't spicey

  • Gautham Suresh
    Gautham Suresh 13 days ago

    *its a trade deal*
    Gold

  • JMC 4077
    JMC 4077 13 days ago

    The last 3 presidents haven't been seen or heard from since before Christmas. Where are they? In Guantanamo, standing trial for treason? (Punishable by death.) Why don't you write some jokes about that? WWG1WGA

  • Victor Valencia
    Victor Valencia 13 days ago

    failosi and shmuckmer look like that old couple with the pitch fork painting at a podium LOL

    • K C
      K C 13 days ago +1

      ""He thinks maybe they could just ask their father for more money." Awesome dig, Nancy! LOLZ

  • jodinsan
    jodinsan 13 days ago +2

    Trump doesn't want 5.7 billion dollars for a wall. Look at his unethical business history.
    He wants 5.7 billion dollars. He'll _say_ it was for the wall, but come up with some excuse or fraudulently claim the money was never given.... and pocket it.
    He has been doing it for *decades.*

  • Ignacio Guerrero
    Ignacio Guerrero 13 days ago

    Dont. He'll want more. And more.

  • typeerk
    typeerk 13 days ago

    Why has nobody pressed the President about why he needs to fund his wall now? There's a strong argument he's trying to profit/ funnel money from his pet project. www.cbsnews.com/news/border-wall-company-contract-questions/

  • Constant Chaos
    Constant Chaos 13 days ago

    Dont give him the money

  • GREY Wolf
    GREY Wolf 13 days ago

    I always lol when a news reporter calls Trump out on a lie, and he gets triggered.

  • Ceci Markley
    Ceci Markley 13 days ago

    I love how "Lets eat, Dick" wasn't censored but 'Let's eat dick was" haha

  • Ceco Elvisa
    Ceco Elvisa 13 days ago +2

    Lindsey Graham needs a beard . I'm surprised he's not married

  • NukeMarine
    NukeMarine 13 days ago +2

    Commas are important people.

  • Dak Lamerbusch
    Dak Lamerbusch 13 days ago

    Dammit Seth!!! You gave me The Feels over a SUITCASE!!! 😭

  • F Clarke
    F Clarke 13 days ago

    Why’s The Ireland one funny?

  • F Clarke
    F Clarke 13 days ago +3

    Red dwarf did the robot suitcase thing.

    • Judi O'Regan
      Judi O'Regan 13 days ago +1

      I wonder if this suitcase will be emblazoned with the word 'SMEG'? Oh wait... several kitchen appliances have that anyway 😬. Never mind. 😌

  • Long John Silver
    Long John Silver 13 days ago

    I can't believe,Robert Mueller has not enough impeachable material about Trump. A democratic president would have been impeached three months after inauguration if he,or she,would have acted like Trump.
    The only thing he did well was the bombing of the syrian airbase after Assads attac on his own people with poisongas,anything else he did was crap hitting americans. But nothing is going to happen! Will we have Trump for a lifetime? Any more minute this man is in the WH is dangerous for the free world,and that still includes US.

    • Spammy Hell
      Spammy Hell 13 days ago

      +Long John Silver ~ Even that bombing was a joke. It was fake, they were warned, got all important stuff out of the way. We didn't hit runways, just some disposable old planes/equipment to make it look good. They flew more missions out of that same airport w/in hours. DT is at best incompetent, at worst, evil.

  • Eileen Farrar
    Eileen Farrar 13 days ago +4

    Commas----they matter!

    • Spammy Hell
      Spammy Hell 13 days ago +1

      +Eileen Farrar ~ Indeed! This reminded of my niece's (clean) version:
      Let's eat, Grandma.
      Let's eat Grandma!
      Use a comma, save a life.

  • Courage Karnga
    Courage Karnga 13 days ago +1

    If you still believe anything Trump says, you're either insane, stupid or both.