Trump's Primetime Address, Google's Virtual Assistant - Monologue

  • Published on Jan 10, 2019
  • Seth Meyers' monologue from Wednesday, January 9.
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    Trump's Primetime Address, Google's Virtual Assistant - Monologue- Late Night with Seth Meyers

    Late Night with Seth Meyers
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 373

  • ioana ilea
    ioana ilea 4 months ago

    how about the UK? they are a medieval KINGDOM

  • L S L
    L S L 4 months ago +1

    Mr. Trump, have you given any thought to the 2,996 victims and their families of 9-11? Terrorists committing mass murder by hijacking U.S. planes. Due to your Government shut down we now have unpaid and limited TSA workers, thus less security in our airports. You are leaving our country wide open and unguarded. Perhaps you need a reminder... the deaths on 9-11 were not caused by Mexicans crossing the border.

  • Julianne McLaughlin
    Julianne McLaughlin 5 months ago

    Props to the writer who came up with the "forest" joke; that was gold.

  • Sam Sung
    Sam Sung 5 months ago

    meyers: "more gravy for your brain?"
    liberal: "yes please!"

  • Java Cup
    Java Cup 5 months ago

    come on you can do better

  • Walter Pearlman
    Walter Pearlman 5 months ago

    Thanks Seth for President Trump !

  • JT Tilly
    JT Tilly 5 months ago

    "It" had a prime-time address? Didn't even know. Nor do I care what this entitled foreign regime has to say, because its dead, they killed the constitution. Follow the Declaration of Independence. "That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."
    To think I used to believe and care about what these idiots used to say, the GOP corporate government and their conglomerated media did that in. Resist always fighting for freedom. Is it a prerequisite for all media to report the people with zero credibility dissing common decency and whats best for us all instead of reporting solutions or a comments from wholesome individuals? Is that asking too much? Negative breeds more negative.

  • CAIntegrity
    CAIntegrity 5 months ago

    Me: Put hots on the sandwich
    Irish boy: we have banana peppers for hots

  • Bill Freese
    Bill Freese 5 months ago

    I'm so glad they censored the second Dick so we wouldn't be offended.

  • Sini Cide
    Sini Cide 5 months ago

    I don't know the law but he is basically holding Americans hostage to get his way. Isn't that illegal somehow?

  • Angel Tears
    Angel Tears 5 months ago

    Donald & Melania have separate bedrooms. You don't think she would sleep in the same bed where he eats his buckets of greasy chicken & smelly cheeseburgers do you?

  • sfdtjr
    sfdtjr 5 months ago

    You morons do realize that the $5.7 billion is for maintenance for about 30% of the wall which is already built. Not to mention the fact that he stated that a large portion of this will go towards humanitarian efforts such as developing their refugee camps and giving the immigrants attempting to cross more supplies. I am no Trump supporter but you guys need to expand your views on people greater than the following: CNN, MSNBC, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, Jimmy Fallon, NY Times, Seattle Times, & CBS. You are being told only portions of the story by the democratic party through yellow journalism to further their agenda because they still cannot fathom that their Hillary lost. It has been nearly three years and it seems the only thing the Democratic party is in agreeance with it that "Trump is bad", while not yet looking at the vast positives Trump has created which he promised in his campaign i.e. job growth (unemployment is at an all-time low), securing our borders so we don't end up like France or South Korea, and removing corrupt politicians: only a few examples. For the love of god do research before commenting and don't utilize Google to do it as their results are altered heavily for an agenda as left-leaning news corps can pay Google to have their results pushed towards the top meaning they aren't organic.

  • search/local HTX YouTube

    More readers! 🤓

  • zztop3000
    zztop3000 5 months ago

    Well basically all medieval kingdoms are thriving today, France, England, Germany, Poland, Russia, Spain, basically all European countries

  • Chronicler9Prod
    Chronicler9Prod 5 months ago

    and THIS is why i don't understand American audio censorship

  • nmeunier
    nmeunier 5 months ago

    Sounds like Google Assistant has its hands full figuring out which dick is which dick. What if you're talking about Dick's dick?

  • erdvilla
    erdvilla 5 months ago

    Seriously, someone slap Brazil; they tried making spicy bees and that turned out a disaster, and now they go for tomatoes.

  • Betty Schueler
    Betty Schueler 5 months ago

    It is sad to see that Democrats are still rolling out the moldy crew to represent them to the public. I don't know which was sadder, Trump's speech or the Pelosi/Schumer duo imitating the couple in Grant Wood's American Gothic. I almost spit out my coffee when I saw that pair behind the podium. The Dems really need to find better people, to represent them to the public, if they want to win in 2020.

  • WildwoodClaire1
    WildwoodClaire1 5 months ago

    Not only is the wall expensive, the $5.7 billion would not begin to pay for the legions of archers, the trebucets, the ballistae, and the cauldrons of melted lead we'll also need to defend the wall and repel the invaders.

  • Charlotte Innoecent
    Charlotte Innoecent 5 months ago

    I want the Luggage! Tell me it follows me on hundreds of little feet?

  • mori1bund
    mori1bund 5 months ago +2

    Yeah, Lindsey, your party was done the day you elected Trump as your candidate.

  • Pam Timmins
    Pam Timmins 5 months ago

    So funny Seth, why are their people standing behind Trump? Is it so he can be reminded of his ego stroking rallies? What a fool. Impeach Trump already stop the madness.

  • Mysterious Cat
    Mysterious Cat 5 months ago


  • Manny Kahn
    Manny Kahn 5 months ago +1

    Walls work in Israel because the Palestinians are held in an open air prison the Gaza strip. No tools etc.

  • Octavio Garcia
    Octavio Garcia 5 months ago

    dejame te explico cuando tu vaz yo ya fui identifico la mentira esta en lo mas profundo del mar que kieres contarme jusus fue hijo de maria DIOS PADRE PODER..

  • 1221H1221
    1221H1221 5 months ago

    Did he really tweet that?

  • Jon Kim
    Jon Kim 5 months ago +1

    You know what's ironic and really funny and sad at the same time. One argument for the wall is that the immigrants are stealing our jobs 😂😂😂 and Trump goes and puts hundreds of thousands of people out of work

  • JJ W
    JJ W 5 months ago +1

    Why is the president talking about his married life troubles? He's so un-presidential

  • Heck Deck
    Heck Deck 5 months ago


  • Miss Vivian
    Miss Vivian 5 months ago

    Isn't holding a government ransom for money... I don't know, illegal?

  • Mario Muccino
    Mario Muccino 5 months ago


    • Mario Muccino
      Mario Muccino 5 months ago


    • Mary Rose Kent
      Mary Rose Kent 5 months ago

      Mario Muccino
      It’s rich-someone who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re calling someone else a moron.

  • thpillage
    thpillage 5 months ago

    Who’s to say he’ll accept a deal? Maybe he’ll beat his chest and take a dump on the presidential desk while claiming victory

  • Bright Glory
    Bright Glory 5 months ago +1

    Seth the trade deal joke is the funniest damn thing I've ever heard you say.

  • L. T C.
    L. T C. 5 months ago

    Honestly why don't we just give it to him 5.7 bill seriously isn't enough to even build it.

    • Mary Rose Kent
      Mary Rose Kent 5 months ago

      L. T C.
      Because teachers have to buy their own supplies for their classes, and teachers barely make enough to survive on as it is. If we’re going to toss around $5.7 billion, I’d rather it go to schools.

  • zen 123
    zen 123 5 months ago

    I feel like young, energetic and charismatic leaders should take over from Pelosi and Schumer.

    • Mary Rose Kent
      Mary Rose Kent 5 months ago

      zen 123
      Pelosi is the perfect Speaker of the House for the 🍊🍄💩. Once we have a Democrat in the WH, it’ll be different.

  • Terry Craft
    Terry Craft 5 months ago +1

    Thatsa one spicy Tomato!

  • MadriFilmArt
    MadriFilmArt 5 months ago +1

    Somebody tell Lindsay Graham, It's Already the end of your party!

  • mdudegamer
    mdudegamer 5 months ago +1

    Freaking Lindsey Graham. "We can't do anything that would displease Donald Trump because it would ruin our party." You utter dimwit, standing up to Trump would actually make people like your party more.

  • Autum Breeze
    Autum Breeze 5 months ago +1

    What's beyond stupid is he's now saying he NEVER said Mexico will pay for it... as if the billions of videos of him saying literally that don't exist, especially when his supporters have played those things like they're the word of God.
    It's like he thinks everyone in the world has short term memory loss.

    • Mary Rose Kent
      Mary Rose Kent 5 months ago

      Autum Breeze
      Or perhaps because he a pathological liar he doesn’t realize that most people actually *care about the truth.*

  • Badmonting
    Badmonting 5 months ago +1

    how... how is one of the most unintelligent humans running a country.. into the ground btw

  • Sinister Veritas
    Sinister Veritas 5 months ago +1

    Trump is doing more damage to Americans than illegal immigrants.

  • MediaFaust
    MediaFaust 5 months ago +1

    That punctuation trick was neat. How to activate the censor bot, like.

  • Thomas Ridley
    Thomas Ridley 5 months ago +2

    It must be bad when your luggage asks "is it becuase ive gained wieght"

  • Michael R.
    Michael R. 5 months ago

    the flag burners channel here...

  • Marcus W
    Marcus W 5 months ago

    *the USA republic will be RE-Organised... INTO THE FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE!!!!!!! For a safe and secure society* was that his speech? Lol

  • Al69BfR
    Al69BfR 5 months ago

    And the French have some predictable misunderstandings when they say „I hate Dick!“

  • Panther15 ZodiacGods
    Panther15 ZodiacGods 5 months ago

    A medieval wall, replete with hot lead cauldrons every 50 feet, and archers with flaming arrows, every 100 feet. THAT oughtta fix'em!

  • Efemral
    Efemral 5 months ago

    Because nothing beats a wall! (What's that? A ladder? I don't know what that is.)

  • Arief Rahmat
    Arief Rahmat 5 months ago

    mother fucker 😁😂

  • Samuel Hwang
    Samuel Hwang 5 months ago

    Sorry but I didn't watch the address. FOR REASONS.

  • Bo Hogland
    Bo Hogland 5 months ago

    Is a draw bridge too much too early?

  • Tristan Clawson
    Tristan Clawson 5 months ago

    I love how only the second dick was bleeped.

  • K O'C
    K O'C 5 months ago

    It's a trade deal. ROFL

  • Vince Fernandez
    Vince Fernandez 5 months ago

    If you think about it, trump is to Vladimir as Wreak is to Ramsey Bolton (#GameOfThrones)

  • Methylenedream
    Methylenedream 5 months ago

    I like how a comma forced NBC to blur Dick.

  • Rosita A. Huff
    Rosita A. Huff 5 months ago

    I am German...I can tell you...walls don't work...,!

  • Rosita A. Huff
    Rosita A. Huff 5 months ago

    Blotus has lost his negotiating skills...and what was left of his mind...

  • Sebastian Hernandez
    Sebastian Hernandez 5 months ago

    We don't have that John Oliver HBO money 😂😂😂

  • MilitaryGirl USA
    MilitaryGirl USA 5 months ago

    Like I said before if he wants some type of wall..why not Jurassic Park fencing. I'm very opposed to any wall and pro border security who I have the upmost faith in. I should know first hand as I cross into tijuana from S.D. They are VERY capable. Watch airlines and cargo better...there's your war on drugs,at least partially. Oh and there's criminals and rapists born and bred here in the good ol' USA...white as can be and living in every state. So stop fear mongering the small minded and elderly.

  • Benjamin Vestergaard
    Benjamin Vestergaard 5 months ago

    Denmark still standing, albeit much smaller than before the dark ages... Stupid counter argument, you can do better c'mon.

  • Bubba Ganoosh
    Bubba Ganoosh 5 months ago

    Come on Seth you don't really believe Melania and Trump sleep even in the same room? He's got to consider himself lucky they're in the same house. Lucky for her she no doubt has an armed Secret Service agent outside her room.

  • seascapewa
    seascapewa 5 months ago

    Is that suitcase made of sapient pearwood?

  • Dr. Mantis Toboggan, M.D.

    Insert clip of Ving Rhames saying "I'mma get medieval on yo ass."

  • rabit818
    rabit818 5 months ago +1

    Bezo’s divorce, who gets the 60” flatscreen?

  • Cat Woman
    Cat Woman 5 months ago

    Seth, you're hot!

  • The Cello Collector
    The Cello Collector 5 months ago

    He’s really not funny is he?

  • Warren NZ
    Warren NZ 5 months ago

    What was the point of blanking out the 2nd "Dick" in that final comment?

  • S Stiel
    S Stiel 5 months ago

    Lindsey just lost his compas. SOS SOS SOS

  • S Stiel
    S Stiel 5 months ago

    Just do not give it to him!!!

  • Choo Choo MotherTrucker

    Okay, Google. Tell Trump to eat a Dick!

  • In4cer in4cer
    In4cer in4cer 5 months ago

    No, absolutely not. Don't give the dumbass 1 penny for stupid wall.... I cannot believe Republicans are putting party ahead of country. WTF???

  • Kimberley Smith
    Kimberley Smith 5 months ago

    At 1:25 cracks me up. I love his Lindsay Graham impressions.

  • pop5678eye
    pop5678eye 5 months ago

    China built the greatest wall in history. You know what is most known for? Costing the lives of tens of thousands of Chinese laborers. You know what it is not known for? Keeping any enemies out!

  • Luis Avalos
    Luis Avalos 5 months ago

  • claire bigelow
    claire bigelow 5 months ago

    theres nothing left for us to do.. is either IMPEACH Trump or send him to prison.. with his entire family.. or both

  • Cristina Lee
    Cristina Lee 5 months ago

    Is it just me or does chuck schumer remind me of creed bratton? Not the actor version, but the office version.

  • docmursh27
    docmursh27 5 months ago

    what a disgrace to America

    FREEDOM GUARD 5 months ago

    Trump will resign in 2019 in exchange for immunity

  • LovinLife
    LovinLife 5 months ago

    Graham is the king of flip-flop, so he needs to STFU.

  • Michael Kelly
    Michael Kelly 5 months ago

    You mean tomatoes aren't spicey

  • Gautham Suresh
    Gautham Suresh 5 months ago

    *its a trade deal*

  • JMC 4077
    JMC 4077 5 months ago

    The last 3 presidents haven't been seen or heard from since before Christmas. Where are they? In Guantanamo, standing trial for treason? (Punishable by death.) Why don't you write some jokes about that? WWG1WGA

  • Victor Valencia
    Victor Valencia 5 months ago

    failosi and shmuckmer look like that old couple with the pitch fork painting at a podium LOL

    • K C
      K C 5 months ago +1

      ""He thinks maybe they could just ask their father for more money." Awesome dig, Nancy! LOLZ

  • jodinsan
    jodinsan 5 months ago +2

    Trump doesn't want 5.7 billion dollars for a wall. Look at his unethical business history.
    He wants 5.7 billion dollars. He'll _say_ it was for the wall, but come up with some excuse or fraudulently claim the money was never given.... and pocket it.
    He has been doing it for *decades.*

  • Ignacio Guerrero
    Ignacio Guerrero 5 months ago

    Dont. He'll want more. And more.

  • typeerk
    typeerk 5 months ago

    Why has nobody pressed the President about why he needs to fund his wall now? There's a strong argument he's trying to profit/ funnel money from his pet project.

  • Constant Chaos
    Constant Chaos 5 months ago +1

    Dont give him the money

  • GREY Wolf
    GREY Wolf 5 months ago

    I always lol when a news reporter calls Trump out on a lie, and he gets triggered.

  • Ceci Markley
    Ceci Markley 5 months ago

    I love how "Lets eat, Dick" wasn't censored but 'Let's eat dick was" haha

  • Ceco Elvisa
    Ceco Elvisa 5 months ago +2

    Lindsey Graham needs a beard . I'm surprised he's not married

  • NukeMarine
    NukeMarine 5 months ago +2

    Commas are important people.

  • Dak Lamerbusch
    Dak Lamerbusch 5 months ago

    Dammit Seth!!! You gave me The Feels over a SUITCASE!!! 😭

  • Génesi Zent
    Génesi Zent 5 months ago

    Have little fun

  • F Clarke
    F Clarke 5 months ago

    Why’s The Ireland one funny?

  • F Clarke
    F Clarke 5 months ago +4

    Red dwarf did the robot suitcase thing.

    • Judi O'Regan
      Judi O'Regan 5 months ago +1

      I wonder if this suitcase will be emblazoned with the word 'SMEG'? Oh wait... several kitchen appliances have that anyway 😬. Never mind. 😌

  • Long John Silver
    Long John Silver 5 months ago

    I can't believe,Robert Mueller has not enough impeachable material about Trump. A democratic president would have been impeached three months after inauguration if he,or she,would have acted like Trump.
    The only thing he did well was the bombing of the syrian airbase after Assads attac on his own people with poisongas,anything else he did was crap hitting americans. But nothing is going to happen! Will we have Trump for a lifetime? Any more minute this man is in the WH is dangerous for the free world,and that still includes US.

    • Spammy Hell
      Spammy Hell 5 months ago

      +Long John Silver ~ Even that bombing was a joke. It was fake, they were warned, got all important stuff out of the way. We didn't hit runways, just some disposable old planes/equipment to make it look good. They flew more missions out of that same airport w/in hours. DT is at best incompetent, at worst, evil.

  • Eileen Farrar
    Eileen Farrar 5 months ago +4

    Commas----they matter!

    • Spammy Hell
      Spammy Hell 5 months ago +1

      +Eileen Farrar ~ Indeed! This reminded of my niece's (clean) version:
      Let's eat, Grandma.
      Let's eat Grandma!
      Use a comma, save a life.

  • Courage Karnga
    Courage Karnga 5 months ago +1

    If you still believe anything Trump says, you're either insane, stupid or both.