Why Everyone's Favorite Video Game is Idiotic - Escort Mission

  • Published on Dec 4, 2015
    It's the best franchise about time-traveling history ninjas being controlled by their future ancestors who are battling time knights for control of humanity.
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Comments • 723

  • Paradigm & Erico
    Paradigm & Erico Month ago

    Yo Cracked wtf, this was actually a great video that I never bothered to click until today because it had such a bland clickbaity title. Your content is better than that guys! Tell us that you are actually gonna make some cool valid points

  • Abe Sphere
    Abe Sphere 3 months ago

    Oh yah. Fuck that giant in Bloodborne. Though could you please try to use footage from the same area

  • Seth Madry
    Seth Madry 4 months ago

    I lost interest when they started leaving out multiplayer. It has one of the best multiplayers i have ever played

  • Todd Garver
    Todd Garver 6 months ago

    This is how I imagine every meeting at Cracked, "What do people love right now? (Insert popular idea) Let's shit all over it." Lol

  • Matthew Chrismar Isip
    Matthew Chrismar Isip 7 months ago +1

    There not ninjas there assassins

  • Shawnee Longbow
    Shawnee Longbow 8 months ago

    It's called "History Ninjas."

  • Rose Lily
    Rose Lily 9 months ago

    I love history ninjas xD

  • cj Hunter
    cj Hunter Year ago

    It did end though. Just a new storylinez

  • Jacob Benns
    Jacob Benns Year ago

    Damn Templars

  • English Man
    English Man Year ago

    This video actually made like assassin’s creed more because this video is bs

  • Mafaman
    Mafaman Year ago

    What exactly is "level 2" of Bloodborne?
    To me it was a huge ass fucked up city to explore.

  • theKruseship
    theKruseship Year ago

    How did he get from Undead Giant to a brick troll that fast? 🤔

  • CJusticeHappen21
    CJusticeHappen21 Year ago

    Blackflag gave this series a life that it could not sustain.

  • Lone
    Lone Year ago

    Normal people
    “You could not play the game”

  • Jamie Todd
    Jamie Todd Year ago

    Hhhchoodie guy.

  • Chris King
    Chris King Year ago

    Going on 2018, still making A.C.
    Mike called it.

  • Zach Solo
    Zach Solo Year ago

    Lol "time traveling parkour history ninjas" sounds awesome!

  • Brallan Dublan
    Brallan Dublan Year ago

    I always thought Assassin's Creed was pretty meh.

  • Steven Universe
    Steven Universe Year ago

    Since then they've gone to Industrial revolution England, and are now in ancient Egypt... what's next? Sparta? Spain?

  • JageshemashFTW
    JageshemashFTW Year ago

    The only thing I didn't like about Unity was the combat. Everything else was fine.

  • Unnatural09
    Unnatural09 Year ago

    God I love this channel.

  • Honest Lies
    Honest Lies Year ago

    I agree, put on Days of Thunder.

  • N8tiv3 J0k3R
    N8tiv3 J0k3R Year ago

    Assassins Creed=Scientology... awesome...i bet it will be Tom Cruises best movie yet lol

  • 12scivis1 Hayes
    12scivis1 Hayes Year ago

    If he wanted to make assassin's creed sound dumb, he should've just told the truth. The games are boring... They just have way too much filler content. Like pretty much any other Ubisoft title.

  • RabbidOwl
    RabbidOwl Year ago

    not only is the story bad but the gameplay is so fluffy, there is alot to do but most of it is just time added in by how slow your character climbs or shitty hitboxes/controls

  • Kelsouth Deaton
    Kelsouth Deaton Year ago

    I like that Assassin's Creed makes the necessary video game silliness " if you die it just backs you up a little and you try again" make sense. That having been said I stopped playing years ago.

  • Kyle Richards
    Kyle Richards Year ago


  • Jacob Bielski
    Jacob Bielski Year ago

    4:40 Complaining that a series has gone on too long is suffering padding and trying to suck people for money is a valid complaint. Actually GIVING them your money is you being dumb.

  • allmightyo1
    allmightyo1 Year ago

    AC is to repetitive

  • Jeff II
    Jeff II 2 years ago

    "No, it's called...History Ninjas" lmao

  • Paul Johnson
    Paul Johnson 2 years ago


  • Ficho stajo
    Ficho stajo 2 years ago

    I love Assassin's Creed I don't know what this guy is on about 😁😂😂

  • Amatsu Kami Mikaboshi
    Amatsu Kami Mikaboshi 2 years ago

    uhhhh.... titles misleading....though good job on analyzing every single game series that doesnt end though.... and showing bloodbourne game

  • Ragnarok Sora
    Ragnarok Sora 2 years ago

    to be fair after ac3 you actually don't need a relative bloodline. they already created something that doesn't need that. they explained it in some audio in ac3.
    btw guys do you even read the additional content of the game. they are their for a reason.

  • jhummel003
    jhummel003 2 years ago

    that's not what it is at all he's not playing as the assassin jes boring his ancestors memories like a movie. that's how it is in the story

  • Voidwolf 56
    Voidwolf 56 2 years ago

    I like the older ones idkw but I don't like the ones that are more recent

  • Brandon Smith
    Brandon Smith 2 years ago

    "Just like Scientology, God Damnit"

  • Josh Bud
    Josh Bud 2 years ago

    how did he go from fighting the undead giant near the end of the game to the begining of the game with the flaming tumble weed bridge and the big furry btick guy....?

  • Neil Sanghvi
    Neil Sanghvi 2 years ago

    So accurate. I felt the franchise would go this way after the first one, and didn't want to be strung along with Da Vinci Code nonsense, which would ruin the historical experiences for me, which I really enjoyed.

  • Ashley Aldous
    Ashley Aldous 2 years ago +4

    what if they made a assassin's Creed game we're you play as a actual ninja in ancient japan

    • furyberserk
      furyberserk 2 years ago

      There are only two ways that will happen:
      If you take the historical approach and play as a Templar who goes to Japan when Christianity was popular to a degree there and try to stop the killings of worshipers at the hands of the Japanese government with reclusive agents of spies(ninjas) who assist in training you to help protect the people who pray
      You plays as the descendant of a Japanese spy who was sent out to Europe to learn foreign knowledge and later bring it back to Japan as an agent of the government with learned and gained ties to the Assassin's Creed itself to betray the Shogunate in an attempt to try to save the provinces of the poor from the rich who were being taken advantage of in seiges that leads to Nobunaga in a very inaccurate historical representation that may kill the series.
      Either way, I think the purpose of the series is to show non Japanese ninjas.

  • Sharon Koivu
    Sharon Koivu 2 years ago

    I like Pong.

  • Eskew Roberts
    Eskew Roberts 2 years ago +2

    That moment when you realize Assassin's Creed is Gameception

  • Dark Arts Dabbler
    Dark Arts Dabbler 2 years ago +24

    If you're like me, you wouldn't even care if they completely removed the animus from the game and just let the series be what we love: a historic stabbing simulator that lets us climb up on top of really cool architecture and meet dead people.

  • Dark Arts Dabbler
    Dark Arts Dabbler 2 years ago

    I honestly hate that aspect of the story. I don't know why they couldn't stop at "political/government conspiracy" with one item of far-fetched technology. Instead, they have to involve aliens, and possibly magic, and even higher levels of bullshit technology. Not only that, they inject that crazy stuff hundreds of years into the past making it even harder to believe.
    I prefer what I thought the story was looking at the box art of the first game so many years ago

  • Aza Smith
    Aza Smith 2 years ago +1

    You know what, I would love to see Tim Burton adapt Bloodborne into a movie! I could totally see it!

  • Onat
    Onat 2 years ago

    you know your series is crap when even the leet says he hates it.

  • James Krill
    James Krill 2 years ago

    Am I crazy? I love the whole conspiracy/modern day parts of the game... am I the only one?

  • Sir white a lot the pagan preacher

    "so its like scientology"
    "... god damnit!"

  • Khashon Haselrig
    Khashon Haselrig 2 years ago

    Is Michael Bay directing the new History Ninjas?

  • Benevolens Psittacorum

    My favorite video game is Dead Space 2.

  • Mr. AkaNoOu
    Mr. AkaNoOu 2 years ago

    No its called the history Ninjas

  • Nolan Hauck
    Nolan Hauck 2 years ago

    The related by blood thing ended with Desmond and when Abstergo made Animi that don't have to be operated by people who are related directly to the characters they're controlling.

  • James Lloyd
    James Lloyd 2 years ago

    history ninjas!

  • David Levi
    David Levi 2 years ago +1

    I would play "History ninjas"!

  • ThothHeart Maat
    ThothHeart Maat 2 years ago +3

    the reason they have to make each game a different time and setting is because all the gameplay is the fucking same. if it was in the same place it would be the same exact game because they don't do anything different. ok they do different stuff in the games but seriously the missions are the same shit all the time. chase this guy.. escort this guy.. I liked the detective missions. those were pretty cool.

    • ThothHeart Maat
      ThothHeart Maat 2 years ago

      2 was seriously the only one with a point. remember 2? the clues you would find and it made a picture or something? ey yo, FUCK crafting... just give me the damn weapons and utilities.. FUCK management systems.. quit making me use menus and selecting options for upgrades. just do the upgrades automatically.. games are getting so fucking complicated to play. they take too much time to do all the little bs.. and the cities are too damn big. i don't even know how they make them so big. i don't even finish playing the games anymore and i will never see the whole city. there's too many treasure chests and little secret things to find. i try to do that stuff and its just exhausting. all the stuff to buy like costumes and weapons are too expensive. it should just unlock when you get to a tier or you find the item as part of a quest or whatever. just randomly buying it in a menu is weird.

  • Jeremy Manson
    Jeremy Manson 2 years ago

    I wonder if they realize they are talking about the Annunaki?

  • Duck God
    Duck God 2 years ago

    And once again someone forgot Assassins Creed Rogue *sigh*

    • Byzantium
      Byzantium 2 years ago +1

      Rogue was one of the best, in my opinion. Partly because the main character looked like a COMPLETE BADASS after you got over your little bitch assassin phase.

  • D.V. A.
    D.V. A. 2 years ago

    I need a transcript of this episode ^_^

  • JJ S
    JJ S 2 years ago

    Console peasant.

    He should build a PC.

  • The master Of portal
    The master Of portal 2 years ago

    2 words portal 2

  • KKDragonLord
    KKDragonLord 2 years ago +1

    worst part of AssCreed's plot is all the alien shit

  • Lorem Ipsum
    Lorem Ipsum 2 years ago +6

    I love looking at the tan lines up your shorts. hoping to see some ball sac. will keep replaying.

  • David Solt
    David Solt 2 years ago

    these minute long Hillary adds are killing me

    STUMPHEAD 2 years ago

    one of my favorite cracked series, keep it up!

  • Darcy Robbs
    Darcy Robbs 2 years ago

    fuck shit is that game really scientology. Also i was tiered of the game and you successfully made me want to play it again

  • plastic Spoon
    plastic Spoon 2 years ago

    i expect to see atleast a dozen get good responses below aaand im right

  • Sarah Morrison
    Sarah Morrison 2 years ago

    I still love it. Or at least the Ezio series and Black Flag. So awesome.

  • DeadbrainLives
    DeadbrainLives 2 years ago

    Fucking Scientology rofl

  • Fake Name
    Fake Name 2 years ago

    1:23 Turn on captions.

  • Stephen Walker
    Stephen Walker 2 years ago

    Gotta' love that intro music.

  • SilicalNZ
    SilicalNZ 2 years ago +1

    All I do is click the circles

  • girish karuvelil
    girish karuvelil 2 years ago

    history ninjas is a much better name lol

  • Anthony Cruz
    Anthony Cruz 2 years ago +7

    Hey, at least you have an idea about how it ends. My game spans into multiple platforms in a convoluted storyline that promises to end, but it doesn't and you have no idea what is coming next, only to stretch it out in another chapter where you battle your way just to get that additional piece of relevant story.
    At least Assassin's Creed isn't Kingdom Hearts. Be thankful.

    • Anthony Cruz
      Anthony Cruz 2 years ago

      Right On, Bro!

    • One Eyed King
      One Eyed King 2 years ago

      I gotta say, I read none of your comment, but I love that your image is of Straight Cougar!

  • Isaac Kramer
    Isaac Kramer 2 years ago

    I dunno I have more respect for Tom Cruise than John Travolta. Maybe if Travolta's Scientology Wizard powers kicked in and brought his son back to life.

  • Nicholas Rusanoff
    Nicholas Rusanoff 2 years ago


  • anonymousbystander
    anonymousbystander 2 years ago +1

    Also, AC says that FDR and Churchill orchestrated WWII (and the holocaust) to engineer a utopian future.

  • Louis Pollitt
    Louis Pollitt 2 years ago

    Its not my favourite video game.

  • Louis Pollitt
    Louis Pollitt 2 years ago

    Its not my favourite video game.

  • GingerJoberton
    GingerJoberton 2 years ago

    ur boyfriend is funny

  • NightSlayer 000
    NightSlayer 000 2 years ago


  • Dawn
    Dawn 2 years ago


  • Jacob Stratton
    Jacob Stratton 2 years ago

    Goes from endgame boss to starting zone trash mob in thirty seconds of dialogue

  • Grae Hall
    Grae Hall 2 years ago +1

    Holy shit this was entertaining, it had a natural feel, while obviously being scripted. It hit that balance just fucking right, I want more of this.

  • Project Redfoot
    Project Redfoot 3 years ago

    Best explanation for Assassins Creed evar

  • jeremy kampman
    jeremy kampman 3 years ago

    Woah wait a minute, your only paying 60 dollars for games, I need a peice of that.

  • Neophobic Nyctophile
    Neophobic Nyctophile 3 years ago

    Waitaminute... The end of Assassin's Creed is Half-life?

  • Neophobic Nyctophile
    Neophobic Nyctophile 3 years ago

    Yaaaay! History Ninjas!!!!

  • aloevera74
    aloevera74 3 years ago

    That is not my favourite video game

  • Harry Ortiz
    Harry Ortiz 3 years ago

    God, Bloodborne is great!!!

  • cutedeadcat
    cutedeadcat 3 years ago

    History Ninjas!

  • MY 2 CENTS
    MY 2 CENTS 3 years ago

    AC:Unity is the Batman v Superman of gaming, great environment, good characters, awesome visuals, good action...great Batman but a fucking bad plot that dragged it really down

  • Horizon1331
    Horizon1331 3 years ago

    Assassins creed unity is far from everyone's favorite game. The episode would of been way cooler if you just kept playing blood borne.

  • demha03
    demha03 3 years ago

    Slowly becoming my favorite skit. Next to OPCD, of course

  • Alannah
    Alannah 3 years ago

    Nah man, idc what anyone says I love the AC series

  • F
    F 3 years ago +1

    Me: Seems like it'll be alright
    "No it's called the history ninjas"
    Me: *Immediately gives video a thumbs up*

  • Yo Momma
    Yo Momma 3 years ago

    Sooo...a never-ending franchise whose plot actually gets more complicated over time is a...bad thing?

  • Tribunal Custodian
    Tribunal Custodian 3 years ago

    Assassins Creed: Scientology, Illuninati, stabbing, and hoodies

  • Joe Favela
    Joe Favela 3 years ago

    "So, it's like scientology?"

  • Basement Wizard
    Basement Wizard 3 years ago +1

    "It's called History Ninjas"
    I'm done XD

  • Jonnathan Perez
    Jonnathan Perez 3 years ago

    assassin's creed vr would be cool if it worked like in the game animus style