6 Popular Survival Tips That Will Get You Killed

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  • Maladjusted Maverick

    No, if you're attacked by a shark, you should go for the eyes. Playing dead won't work. www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/how-to-survive-the-shark-attack-that-is-never-going-to-happen-to-you-24121725/
    Also, if you're friend is suffering from hypothermia, definitely DO NOT let them go to sleep.

  • Sarah Berkner
    Sarah Berkner Day ago

    Thanks for the informative video but all the bleeping was distracting- if you realize you don't need profanity to make a good video then you don't need lots of "bleeps" either. Also you're not supposed to go to sleep on a concussion and as for a seizure, you should try to turn them on their side so they don't choke on their tongue. A girl in my Biology class had a seizure and of course the Biology teacher knew what to do (fortunately).

  • Waldo Nowaldo
    Waldo Nowaldo 2 days ago

    With almost any large predator, including sharks and carnivorous cats, the best strategy is to get behind the beast as quickly as you can and insert a finger or better a thumb! into its anus.
    This will completely immobilize it and halt the attack.
    Your problem of course comes next, as you cannot remove the finger/thumb until help arrives
    or the predator falls asleep or passes out from starvation.
    But this tip could certainly save your life or prevent serious injury ...

  • Stephen Mackey
    Stephen Mackey 2 days ago

    Great Outdoors with lighting

  • Renuka Sardesai
    Renuka Sardesai 3 days ago

    *ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!* You should NOT play dead when fighting a shark! That's probably the stupidest thing to do. For sharks, a dead human is much better. Sharks can smell blood from many miles away and they will like it more if their prey is dead. They are suggesting a survival tip that will 100% get you killed

  • Welshie Ranger
    Welshie Ranger 4 days ago

    5:40
    SLAV SQUAT SAVES LIVES

  • •Scf
    •Scf 4 days ago

    if you play dead against a shark then you'll get eaten up and die.

  • Xandrieth Xs
    Xandrieth Xs 5 days ago

    'Die with some dignity".... XD

  • Marina centa
    Marina centa 5 days ago

    I read about a man who was stranded at sea without water who ate jellyfish. He claimed it helped, and he stayed alive for 4 days. Haven't seen it verified though.

  • OOF NEATER
    OOF NEATER 5 days ago

    Hi

  • Mathyu Ryan
    Mathyu Ryan 5 days ago

    But it's sterile and I like the taste.

  • sadra bathaei
    sadra bathaei 5 days ago

    Harry fucked a weasley

  • Krawczon
    Krawczon 6 days ago

    Yes... Slav Squat

  • Gideon Kalve Jarvis
    Gideon Kalve Jarvis 6 days ago

    The one time I was in an accident, the nice older woman sitting in the front seat (she and her husband were kind enough to give me a ride home from our church meeting) was going into shock after we hit a car (T-boned) that failed to stop at a stop sign. As I was in the back, I got off with relatively minor injuries, and could help the first good Samaritan who stopped and got me out so we could carry her out...only to discover that she'd had heart surgery rather recently - her scars and such were still quite fresh. Interesting how your mind gets very clear in these adrenaline-packed situations, because all the first aid training I'd had in various classes came back immediately and in crystal clear definition: elevate the legs, keep the patient warm and as comfortable as the present miserable situation allows, talk to the patient and keep her calm, and don't, under any circumstances, let her fall asleep, because she probably won't wake up.
    To remove the suspense, the nice old lady and her husband both lived and recovered quite well - miraculously, honestly, but that's another story. This video, however, made me look up that last piece of advice, the part about keeping people awake when they're injured and going into shock. As it turns out, according to WebMD and other online sources, my classes were wrong (outdated information, like providing mouth-to-mouth as part of resuscitation) and this video is mostly right, but the practice is still a good idea.
    Keeping someone awake, according to these sources, won't affect whether they live or die, but on the other hand, it makes it much easier to tell if the person is getting worse, because you can talk to them and ask. If they pass out (and the dear old woman did repeatedly tell me she wanted to go to sleep, while I was staring at the pale blue scar tissue and visible staples beneath her skin exposed by torn clothing, and definitely not feeling anywhere as calm and confident as I desperately tried to seem to help calm her down), then that in itself is generally a symptom that they're getting worse. In the situation I experienced, actually letting my elderly friend go to sleep might have helped matters, because it would probably have allowed her to relax more fully, countering the shock she was entering when I started working to calm her down. On the other hand, seeing her conscious when she entered the ambulance after the EMTs arrived did wonders for her husband's morale.

  • HerRoyalBlondeness
    HerRoyalBlondeness 6 days ago

    “I’m having a seizure! Put a wallet in my mouth!”

  • Joseph Izzo
    Joseph Izzo 6 days ago

    In addition to collapsing the freeway, if by some miracle it didn’t collapse, the wind actually accelerates as it passes under. This means a 250 mile an hour wind will increase to over 300, tearing you from under the cover of falling concrete and flinging you around and into the other people who are also flying hundreds of yards away from the totally destroyed overpass.
    Good news: you weren’t crushed
    Bad news: your flesh was sand blasted from your body before you died. Yeah, that qualifies as bad news I think.

  • Jared Kula
    Jared Kula 7 days ago

    Who else watching this is in the Zeit-Gang?

  • pete lee
    pete lee 7 days ago

    7:44 actually if you found someone dying(assuming you didn't witness the event) it would be in your best interest to make sure he/she stays conscious so that the peramedics can find out what happened

  • Jo-anna F
    Jo-anna F 8 days ago

    I disagree with the snake bite one cause he said do you want your friend to poison himself and snakes release venom not poison and venom only effects your blood stream while poison can be taken through bloodstream or orally

  • wasup23tube
    wasup23tube 8 days ago

    getting hit with lightning does more damage the less surface area you have, ive never actually heard to lay down, but that is better then minimizing the surface that gets hit with lightening. the same voltage is there, the same current will happen. decreasing the surface area is the same as having a smaller wire. it gets hot

  • Stephen Hopkins
    Stephen Hopkins 9 days ago

    If you have a thumb then find the shark's bung hole. They hate that ... so I hear.

  • Grandmaster Hash
    Grandmaster Hash 9 days ago

    Dat was a good Cosby joke, my nigga. It made me... CRACK up!

  • Chris Mel
    Chris Mel 10 days ago

    Don't White Aharks eat dead things like whales? I just watched a video of white sharks taking chunks out of this dead whale carcass.

  • Michael str
    Michael str 10 days ago

    Has an elevator ever went free falling with people in it?

  • Mick Thornton
    Mick Thornton 11 days ago

    Holy S*#%, the Bill Cosby in the Temple hoodie picture surprised me and then made me laugh out loud at work. Thanks for going there.

  • LanternGames
    LanternGames 12 days ago

    You ever punch a shark

  • Isaac Tallent
    Isaac Tallent 15 days ago

    Bro what?

  • Jacob Adams
    Jacob Adams 15 days ago

    Played water polo for 12 years, so yes I am VERY confident in my “swim punches”. Not hit a shark level confident, but still... screw you

  • azraelbatosi
    azraelbatosi 15 days ago

    I had an epileptic friend, he had a seizure and we stuck a leather belt between his teeth...because last time he’d had a bad seizure he almost bit his tongue in two and bled to death...movies might give just AWFUL medical advice but come on Cracked....although a wooden spoon would probably result in broken teeth and a wallet could impede breath, so...ok...but still

  • Reo Rose
    Reo Rose 16 days ago

    You look like a male Ariana grande

  • Miracleous Owens
    Miracleous Owens 16 days ago

    Play dead with a shark, I've seen documentaries of them eating giant whale carcasses, you think they won't attempt to eat you or take care bite out of you because you're "dead". If anything, anyone who tries this in real life with any predatory animal may survive with this possibly. But remember in my opinion there are only two reasons why a predator won't eat a dead body either something bigger is already eating it, or it's too rotten to eat ( unless your a hyena or vulture), and I'm pretty sure these instances nullify playing dead.

  • Paul is a person
    Paul is a person 17 days ago

    5:50 LIKE A SLAV! LIKE A SLAV!
    How did you miss this joke!

  • Derek Beyer
    Derek Beyer 17 days ago

    The whole keeping someone awake thing stems from unusual fatigue being a strong sign of a head injury, along with you know, cause to suspect a head injury. The bullet thing is even dumber then this video says because alot of bullets fragments when they hit their target. especially if it catches bone or hard cartilage. 5.56, due to its extremely high velocity and generally light weight, is notorious for this. Thats what makes it so effective. Even some of the best hollow points on the market right now in terms of weight retained and how effectively they open (Federal Ammunitions HST's have time and time again demonstrated this) There is still gonna be some metal that comes off and stays in your body. let a surgeon remove the bullet. The biggest reason not to jam some shit into the mouth of a person having a seizure is you are obstructing the airway. The best thing to do is roll them on their side. Finally, Im not gonna go seek out a fight with a shark, because im not a fucking idiot. but if a shark comes at me ready to fucking EAT ME. Im punching something best I can.

  • Your Boi
    Your Boi 17 days ago

    If you play dead a shark will still eat you

  • Clara Goncalves
    Clara Goncalves 18 days ago

    The lightning one, if you are on an open field the best thing is to lay down. The electricity tends to reach the highest point on the surface, and if you are standing or crouching (like he said) on something like a football camp, you have more chance to be hit. With that i say, depending where you are ground level is the way to go on a storm.

  • Chuy Torres
    Chuy Torres 18 days ago

    Die with some fucking dignity, also a cup + plastic= drinking water

  • Christopher Thompson
    Christopher Thompson 18 days ago

    Playing dead in a shark attack will get you eaten alive. Sharks are scavengers they eat dead things. Most shark attacks happen when people are being still. This is the absolute worst advice you can give.

  • Matthew Giese
    Matthew Giese 18 days ago

    I had lightning strike nearby me when I was getting out of a car. It hit a Transformer 70 feet away from me. The sound and boom was noticeable and you involuntarily react to... yet in movies they just stand there like nothing happened. I actually felt the sonic wave hit me and I was mostly in my car and only had one foot on the ground.

  • king Eclipso
    king Eclipso 19 days ago

    oh flip i have samsung im f***ed

  • Don Beeson
    Don Beeson 19 days ago

    Do not lay down in an elevator! Your brain or heart are more likely to become dislodged and kill you if you make direct contact. Protect your f** brain! Assume standard static line parachute fall position. feet and knees together knees slightly bent. chin down, elbows in. Of course you are going to shatter basically everything in your lower body but quite frankly, all the good bits that keep your body running are upstairs, see brain and heart. Of course there is also a point where the chances of survival are so small it becomes a pissing contest but laying flat on your back will not improve your chances of survival, it will simply spread your brains across the inside of that elevator. Feet and knees together, always feet first. Don't just spout shit off because it sounds like it could be right. Source: I'm a parachutist, emergency parachute instructor, and survival instructor for the military.

  • please unsubscribe
    please unsubscribe 19 days ago

    When your only source of water is the ocean, you want to boil some ocean water, hold a dry rag over the steam, and then wring out the accumulated water into a cup.

  • mark_lifts_things
    mark_lifts_things 20 days ago

    When using a watch as a compass, halfway between the hour hand pointed at the sun and 12 is *south*, not north. Video is wrong.

  • Vandy 004
    Vandy 004 20 days ago

    Venom, not poison...

  • Marek Bartoš
    Marek Bartoš 24 days ago

    GOLD 🤣

  • Sarah says hello
    Sarah says hello 24 days ago

    Thankfully the chance if shark attack to you is stupid low.

  • YouTube Algorithm
    YouTube Algorithm 24 days ago

    Playing dead would just make an easy meal for sharks.

  • R Nickerson
    R Nickerson 28 days ago

    Punching a shark in the nose is absolutely good advice. Are there other spots to hit to achieve the same result? Sure. Are you always able to find them, reach them, or react rationally? Nope.
    And punching the nose does not mean just the very tip of the shark's face... there are a LOT of nerves and sensory organs in that general area. Sharks have been proven to be very unhappy about being struck in that general area many, many times... both in experiments and in life or death situations.
    You know what's bad advice? Telling people good advice is actually bad for a comedy routine.

    • Waldo Nowaldo
      Waldo Nowaldo 2 days ago

      totally agree, a shark doesn't have arms o hands anyway so it cannot deal with a determined aggressor ready for a punchup - a few well timed combinations and it's going down every time !

  • Pan!c on
    Pan!c on 28 days ago

    oh no i love eating snow 😢😢😢

  • Pan!c on
    Pan!c on 28 days ago

    easy peasy what now

  • Sara R.
    Sara R. Month ago +3

    YES, if a shark attacks, you punch it. Most sharks won't bother with prey if they really put up a fight. I grew up on the Florida coast, this was always advice given to us. FYI, Cracked, this video could get people killed.

  • Ednardo Mega
    Ednardo Mega Month ago

    i subscribed because of the die with some f@#$g dignity part

  • Drew Larson
    Drew Larson Month ago

    *facepalm* combating misinformation with misinformation, nice one cracked...

  • Dragonlover553
    Dragonlover553 Month ago

    When it comes to drinking, I've got two. Number one, when lost hiking, do not ration your water. Food, yes. But you need that water and you need it now. Plenty of people die because they tried to ration their water. Number two, the drinking around pee thing. Don't. Not only is it as undignified as Jack said. It will also kill you faster. Remember: if it was still helpful, your body wouldn't have ejected it.

  • DJ Carver
    DJ Carver Month ago

    Actually playing dead near a shark will make it eat you. It eats dead carcasses. Just curl up in a small ball and don’t make too many bubbles. Sharks don’t want to eat you. Humans taste like absolute garbage.

  • Elec Aire
    Elec Aire Month ago +1

    SO much so wrong with so many of these. But I guess stupid + snark = "comedy"(ish)?

  • CartoonLab
    CartoonLab Month ago

    I found a good way to figure out which direction is North, South, etc. is to face the direction of the sun. If you know what time it is, or at least if it's AM or PM, then just turn to your left or right to find the right direction. If the sun is rising in the East, then North will always be to your left. If the sun is setting in the West, then North is to your right.

  • Sean Blackton
    Sean Blackton Month ago

    Grant O'brien from college humor are you related?

  • Seize the Memes of Production

    Fun fact: When Grover Cleveland was shot, the doctors dug their dirty fingers into his body to try and get it out, giving him an ultimately lethal infection. If they had just treated the superficial wound, he probably would've lived

  • maelissa kluckman
    maelissa kluckman Month ago

    in new mexico you might still live in an adobe house tho... i do so...

  • Sourav Sarkar
    Sourav Sarkar Month ago +1

    Playing dead won't work for sharks. It's easy meal for them. Playing dead doesn't work in case of shark. Please don't do it. Instead gouge its eyes and try to blow bubbles in his face with your mouth piece if you are scuba diving. This will confuse the shark and it will be an easy way out.

  • firelight09
    firelight09 Month ago

    In a tornado you find a confined space because the walls are sturdier due to the close corners.

  • 367 F
    367 F Month ago

    The wind pulls and pushes anything that has resistance. Pressure just bothers my ear drums

  • Loosecat 56
    Loosecat 56 Month ago

    The earthquake advice I heard was go down stairs as low as you can go, preferably the basement, or failing that go into a bathroom with no windows.

  • Munchman
    Munchman Month ago

    Okay I am a trained in First Aid and more importantly for the past 34 years (my entire life actually) I've lived with a sister with disabilites that include Epilepsy (she has seizures).
    Okay here it is 100% for the fucking record, DO NOT TOUCH OR INTERACT DIRECTLY WITH SOMEONE HAVING A SEIZURE.
    Areas to not touch AT ALL EVER IN ANYWAY SHAPE OR FUCKING FORM.
    THEIR ENTIRE PERSONAGE Especially the Mouth.
    Exceptions to the above, you now the person intimately (not sexual intimate I mean as in know them like a Brother, Sister, Parent, Spouse, Close Personal Friend, Personal Carer/Attendant, etc).
    If you are the above you will know the seizures and will be able to know what the seizures most likely entail and how to act.
    If you are a complete stranger, ie if your 99.99% of the population of the Earth, here is what you do.
    A. Nothing, your not much help, fuck off leave the people who are helping the person having the seizure alone, they have 100% more skill then you will ever have. Even if you did take first aid that one time.
    B. if your literally the only person and the person having a seizure is at risk of injury, move away (if possible) anything that will cause said injury, for instance a table if they are convulsing and are at risk of kicking or punching that table, note if you can't move the objects then let it happen, welcome to planet earth, your not superman, you can't save everyone, do what you can if it will help, if your not sure, then just be there for when they wake up. Really the only thing you can do is reassure them they'll be okay, that is literally the entire extent of your powers, be supportive with words at the very least.
    C. If they are in water try to keep their neck supported so they don't drown, AVOID THE MOUTH, the NECK IS NOT THE MOUTH, REMEMBER Don't get near the fucking Mouth Area, seriously, I'm not fucking kidding you touch the mouth I will punch you, if I'm not there expect someone else to punch you, if you see someone putting anything near a seizure victim's mouth (fingers/wallet/ANYTHING/etc), FUCKING PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF THEM TILL THEY STOP.
    Explanation of my hostility in the above statements.
    I have had over 2 decades of stupid people trying to tell me, the brother of an older sister with epilepsy, how to care for my sister who I've lived with for all my life (note, she is older than me, so LITERALLY ALL MY LIFE) and it gets fucking old FAST, I have had to almost punch two people who tried to put there fucking fingers, near my sisters mouth or try to jam shit in her fucking mouth.
    DON'T GO NEAR THE FUCKING MOUTH OF A PERSON HAVING A FUCKING SEIZURE, ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF THE TIME YOU ENCOUNTER A PERSON HAVING A SEIZURE, NO EXCEPTIONS, EVER.
    Seriously it's dangerous for you, it's dangerous for them, it's literally 100% more dangerous to do anything to the mouth than not doing anything with a seizure patients mouth.
    Oh and if someone actually somehow swallows their tongue (yet they literally can't, it is LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE, ask your doctor if you don't believe me) they will just use their nose to breathe through, SO DON'T TOUCH THE FUCKING MOUTH.

  • MachineGunManUFMS
    MachineGunManUFMS Month ago

    Plot twist: sharks WILL bite something that looks dead in the water. Life in the ocean is hard even for a peak predator, and if a shark can get something without having to struggle for it, he sure as hell will at least try it out.

  • 02protoman
    02protoman Month ago

    Cracked: University Humor

  • Benedikt Mader
    Benedikt Mader Month ago +1

    How do play dead while swimming?

  • David Trujillo
    David Trujillo Month ago

    in poor countries some houses are still built with adobe

  • Grimwolf
    Grimwolf Month ago

    Stuffing a wallet in someone's mouth during a seizure doesn't stop them from "swallowing" their tongue, it stops them from biting off part of their tongue and bleeding out.

  • Krazy Kiley
    Krazy Kiley Month ago

    3 things usually happen when people get struck in lighting in movies or tv shows
    1. People go back in time
    2. People get super powers
    3. They die or something logical
    Wait what I’m I talking about 3 never happens

  • Metrifiko (Alpha 4)

    THIS HOLE VIDEO IS A FUCKING LIE!!!
    7:20 not letting her/him sleep its a good way to prevent the person to die
    7:48 YES THEY START!!!! IT'S CALL REVIVE SOMEONE YOU FUCKING BRICK!

  • Katy Doench
    Katy Doench Month ago

    Playing dead against a shark won't change anything, it won't stop it from biting you.

  • Fred Dy
    Fred Dy Month ago

    Ahh fuck! I love you guys! 😂

  • Amun and Osun
    Amun and Osun Month ago

    You punch the shark in the gills not the nose, never heard that

  • Johnathon Fake Name
    Johnathon Fake Name 2 months ago

    i mean, if they're in shock you don't want them to fall asleep. especially if medical services aren't readily available at that very moment. falling asleep will slow down the heart rate even more than it already is, making sure even less oxygen is being transported to the cells of the body. if someone's in shock, you need to keep them awake at all cost. just remember that shock blocks out like 95% of pain, so hitting them to keep them awake isn't going to work.

  • Cari
    Cari 2 months ago

    "Swallowing your tongue" is just a euphemism for your airway being blocked. Most of us with epilepsy and in the medical field use it!😊

  • Crayo Gaming Channel
    Crayo Gaming Channel 2 months ago

    My mom always said to tilt my head back when my nose bled and it felt fucked up so I just held it forward and now I know I wasn’t wrong.

  • KoolBoiHD
    KoolBoiHD 2 months ago

    Three issues so far
    1. You CAN choke on your tongue, roll the person on their side
    2. Do not play dead in a shark or brown bear attack, and many other attacks, as they have no issue eating you anyways
    3. Defibrillators are definitely used on hearts that are not beating. I have serious worry for you if you are not aware of this. Have you ever had to become cpr certified? ffs

  • Andraž Guzaj
    Andraž Guzaj 2 months ago

    Heh, easy peasy, Harry f*cked a Weasley... good line 👍

  • Tegan WR
    Tegan WR 2 months ago

    I live in our house was built over 100 years and it’s Adobe!! 😱 do you only problem is we like never get tornados 🌪

  • Ava Masquerade
    Ava Masquerade 2 months ago

    Fake news! It's not a "compound" it's a bunker! Gawd, idiot! And we don't wear tin foil hats cause aluminum poisoning. Get your facts straight sheeple! 🐑😈🐏

  • brian bleichner
    brian bleichner 2 months ago

    2:21 was hilarious

  • Lunar Phantom
    Lunar Phantom 2 months ago

    I've never heard/seen people do/put stuff in their or other people's mouths during a seizure

  • Cody Herio
    Cody Herio 2 months ago

    sharks dont care if you play dead. In fact they think free meal...

  • Idun Rudemo
    Idun Rudemo 2 months ago

    Waaaaaiiit, are you and Daniel related?

  • Sunny D
    Sunny D 2 months ago

    I’ve been laughing my ass off throughout this whole video

  • Terrance Toole
    Terrance Toole 2 months ago

    surprisingly ...there is alot of wrong or not thoroughly explained information on this vid. Usually cracked vids are ok but this one is irresponsibly wrong on several points

  • Tessie Gesch
    Tessie Gesch 2 months ago

    I don’t have confidence in anything I do or anything about me so yay

  • Asbestos Fish
    Asbestos Fish 2 months ago

    Actually, it’s a good idea to let someone with an injury go to sleep. Because their heart rate slows down while unconscious (less bleeding) and _they aren’t going to go into shock._

  • EDN & HFJ
    EDN & HFJ 2 months ago

    Playing dead would not be simple, sharks see it as a free meal

  • Tiffany ONeal
    Tiffany ONeal 3 months ago

    For someone who lived in tornado alley I’ve never seen a tornado.

  • Mr. Snorlax TV
    Mr. Snorlax TV 3 months ago

    When you get stabbed and the knife is inside of you, don't take it out.
    If you leave it in, less blood will come out.

  • Tanning Chatum
    Tanning Chatum 3 months ago

    Only Angelina Jolie can punch a shark

  • Pavla D
    Pavla D 3 months ago

    *Easy peasy Harry fucked a Weasley*

  • Liza Tanzawa
    Liza Tanzawa 3 months ago

    An overpass also funnels and concentrates high winds, will blow your car away

  • Paul Saxon
    Paul Saxon 3 months ago

    Sometimes they like to act like they know what they're talking about just because.
    Case in point, go lay in a ditch during a tornado. Tornados can make sticks fly like bullets and can throw cars like they can throw sticks. In the off chance you can survive it's going to be by having the wind go over you. Like a makeshift basement. Then you can have a 2% chance if surviving instead of a .0000002% chance of surviving.

  • Pasito Lizarko
    Pasito Lizarko 3 months ago

    The biting seizure technique is so they don't bite their tongues

  • Walter Brigges
    Walter Brigges 3 months ago

    Everyone in this freaking comment section are geniuses you should definitely listen to them

  • Black Bear33
    Black Bear33 3 months ago

    If You drink piss You will puke out more water than You gain.

  • Nathan Hurst
    Nathan Hurst 3 months ago

    You sound like a pussy retard.