Iyanla to a Father: Are You Aware That Your Daughter Cuts Herself? | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN

  • Published on Jul 15, 2019
  • Lil' Karla Beverly, a young woman born in prison to a drug-addicted mother, has been labeled a bad seed by her family, which has led her start cutting. Here, Iyanla tries to help Lil' Karla's father, aunt and grandmother realize that she marinated in a womb of "unwantedness" and grew up among family that raised her in that same spirit. For more on #FIXMYLIFE, visit WatchOWN.tv/Iyanla
    Find OWN on TV at www.oprah.com/FindOWN
    #OWNTV #FIXMYLIFE #IyanlaVanzant
    SUBSCRIBE: bit.ly/1vqD1PN
    Download the Watch OWN App: bit.ly/2hr1nX2
    About Iyanla: Fix My Life:
    In the popular self-help series, “Iyanla: Fix My Life”, bestselling author, spiritual life coach and television host Iyanla Vanzant goes behind closed doors to help people whose relationships and lives have broken down.
    About OWN:
    Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey's heart and creative instincts inform the brand -- and the magnetism of the channel.
    Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities.
    Discover OWN TV:
    Find OWN on your TV!: bit.ly/1wJ0ugI
    Our Fantastic Lineup: bit.ly/1qMi2jE
    Connect with OWN Online:
    Visit the OWN WEBSITE: bit.ly/1qMi2jE
    Like OWN on FACEBOOK: on. 1AXYujp
    Follow OWN on TWITTER: bit.ly/1sJin8Y
    Follow OWN on INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/LnqzMz
    Follow OWN on PINTEREST: bit.ly/2dvfPeN

    Iyanla to a Father: Are You Aware That Your Daughter Cuts Herself? | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN
  • EntertainmentEntertainment

Comments • 238

  • Kimmie Roségold
    Kimmie Roségold 15 days ago

    Bless you wholeheartedly Iyanla for giving a voice to us teens in the black community dealing with depression!!❤️❤️❤️

  • bytemebiz
    bytemebiz Month ago

    You want to feel appreciated as a father and you did so much for your daughter bc you took on women duties

  • HawnMa 808
    HawnMa 808 2 months ago +1

    The best episode I've seen. In tears, good work, and a true testimony to love overcomes all. A real life family, real issues, and real solutions to help a family heal and love this beautiful child born into a life which wasn't her choice. A father who tried his best to raise a daughter on his own, a good man who needs healing of his own.

  • watchlighter
    watchlighter 3 months ago

    Stop exploiting black people. Put white people's dysfunction on TV.

  • I'mBlack&I'mProud X
    I'mBlack&I'mProud X 4 months ago

    For the b****** in the back who just for whatever reason don't like Iyanla or says "she's not God" so how can she help ppl in one show!? It's a SELF-HELP SERIES!! She is a life coach who has been helping ppl (women) in particular "DO THERE OWN WORK" by helping them confront personal and or family issues & giving them the tools & resources to continue their journey! She has said many times that I'm not a counselor but I can get you the help you need IF YOU'RE WILLING to do what's required for yourself FIRST!!! DAMN ppl are so ignorant!!

  • Pulsar1984
    Pulsar1984 4 months ago

    Iyanla speaks with so much conviction and discernment. She makes me wanna confess sins to Jesus Christ. I feel like Jesus spoke similarly. Brutally honest, but with total love.

  • charity njeri
    charity njeri 4 months ago

    Iyanla, this made me cry...for along time ..I don't get this emotional...

  • Maralina
    Maralina 4 months ago +1

    My God!!! Ms. Iyanla broke it all the way down... Had me speaking in my Heavenly prayer language & crying at the same time!!! Lord have mercy! 🙏🏾😢😭😭

  • vanessa Royal
    vanessa Royal 4 months ago

    This episode hit home. I used to cut myself and it was a release. I've haven't cut myself in over ten years!!

    • Carr Treadwelk
      Carr Treadwelk 4 months ago

      Baby you are beauitful. I'm glad u able to forgive yourself the hurt and others. See the WORLD baby. You are blessed. Gifted and courage to write this. Have fun in life. The world is wait ING for your gift. God bless gifted child.

  • DayDay Nation
    DayDay Nation 4 months ago

    Where are the full episodes!??😩

  • Brittiana Blake
    Brittiana Blake 4 months ago +1

    Iyanla.... I’m 22..... I’m motherless..... I LOVE YOU💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

    • Carr Treadwelk
      Carr Treadwelk 4 months ago +1

      @Brittiana Blake you are what the world is waiting for. Go forward. Keep God first. Your dreams are coming. Love you beauitful

    • Brittiana Blake
      Brittiana Blake 4 months ago

      Carr Treadwelk thank you so much ♥️♥️♥️💪🏾

    • Carr Treadwelk
      Carr Treadwelk 4 months ago

      You are BLESSED. We love you ! God is blessing you thru this storm s you went thru. Keep God close and fools away

    • Huli 1234
      Huli 1234 4 months ago +1


  • JadiestJade
    JadiestJade 4 months ago +1

    Iyanla always comes with the gems of wisdom at the right time. “She wasn’t raised. She grew up among family.” 💡💡💡

  • Dutch Bitch
    Dutch Bitch 4 months ago +1

    *cuts* 😭

  • Conscious Wright
    Conscious Wright 4 months ago

    Some Black people posting comment praising Iyanla are chronically naïve. Oprah and Iyanla are banking millions from the pain of Black families. Iyanla is not God, and no human can fix broken lives in 2 hours on TV, which is about 1 hour 30 minutes with 30 minutes of commercials.

  • EricaCantLose
    EricaCantLose 4 months ago +5

    God sent Iyanla to wake us up. No one else could speak to the Black community like her.

  • brooklynforever1990
    brooklynforever1990 4 months ago +1

    Jesus I'm in crying 😭

  • Yvette Mckinzie
    Yvette Mckinzie 4 months ago

    Damn! Can she not call it?!!

  • Lildickgirl666
    Lildickgirl666 4 months ago

    Why is that lady in the middle keep on smiling??????????

    • Carr Treadwelk
      Carr Treadwelk 4 months ago

      I think its a grim smile. She is pain also. Understand ing .

  • Lithorian
    Lithorian 4 months ago

    I relate to this. Especially being an ex cutter myself. I really hope she gets better

  • gerald surratt
    gerald surratt 4 months ago

    You can tell they're sent now quoting scriptures and top of the bout Jesus is going to get me out of this situation. Jesus help those who help themselves and confront what s*** they did. I get tired of these fake Christians talking about Jesus going to get me out guess what he going to let you sit there until you figure out how to get your own self out. Then he steps in to help you with the rest. You got to take responsibility for your own s*** straight folks can't do that

  • Lisa Lisa
    Lisa Lisa 4 months ago +1

    My dad always said this to me, "Everybody wasn't raised, some folks just grow up" same sentiment as Iyanla words, and equally powerful.

  • hoodshit
    hoodshit 4 months ago +1

    I’m confused on what the lady in the purple keeps smiling at

  • Jon Campos
    Jon Campos 4 months ago +1

    She’s nothing more than a black version of dr Phil.

  • Jadda Jackson
    Jadda Jackson 4 months ago

    I felt this

  • Ben-Etta Graham
    Ben-Etta Graham 4 months ago +3

    I read her body language as something different...... I feel her grin was a NERVOUS one... Idk if you guys ever met someone who laughs when they get nervous...... And she folded her arms as if she was trying to hold on to something.... I think she knew about her niece cutting I think maybe she is her niece's shoulder.. Like my how me and my niece are... That's why she side eyes the dad..... Like maybe he is so involved with his own life he don't even know what's going on with his daughter and that was a ummm let him have it grin... Not a I don't care narcissistic grin... Maybe I'm totally wrong but that's the vibe I got

  • G
    G 4 months ago +3

    I love how Ms. Iyanla holds EVERYONE accountable for the situation!

  • MeChelle Martin
    MeChelle Martin 4 months ago +1

    Ms. Vanzant's slayage is superb per usual. That plum is beautiful. I think I see two different 💄shades too. Love the look and wisdom.♥️

  • Vocally Gifted
    Vocally Gifted 4 months ago +3

    OOOO I LOVE IYANLA VANZANT!! She means business for sure!!

  • The Elegant Soapery
    The Elegant Soapery 4 months ago +10

    AMEN!!! EVERY CHILD HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW WHO THEIR MOTHER IS AND WHERE SHE IS AND WHY SHES NOT THERE! AMEN!!! I was adopted and I found my mother after 60 years not knowing who she was! And praise God she wanted to know me yet some people would tell me I shouldn’t look for her because I had good parents and yes I did. It takes NOTHING away from my parents who raised me. I think it is very selfish for someone who was never adopted and knows all their people to tell me I shouldn’t look for my mother because I had good parents. REALLY?!!! 😡 Just because I was put up for adoption doesn’t mean I wasn’t wanted. My mother had no other choice in her circumstances and it WAS THE BEST THING she could have done for me. I’m supposed to be here! And how DARE ANYONE TELL an adoptee that they shouldn’t look for there biological parents!!! That’s just wrong! If you’ve never been adopted YOU HAVE NO IMPUT IN THE MATTER!!! My mother and I now have a beautiful relationship praise God.🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

  • keke2200
    keke2200 4 months ago

    I love this woman

  • Beautiful Bronze
    Beautiful Bronze 4 months ago +3

    I was on my own at 15. That speaks for itself. I thank God I was still determined to finish school... but it has definitely been a rough journey... All because I wasn’t raised I just grew up... and I can’t even say it was with family 😔

    • Carr Treadwelk
      Carr Treadwelk 4 months ago

      Hello Beautiful. Let God show your talent. Stay in faith.....'re world is waiting to see it. Believe God

    • Beautiful Bronze
      Beautiful Bronze 4 months ago

      Carr Treadwelk wow you are amazing 😉

    • Carr Treadwelk
      Carr Treadwelk 4 months ago +1

      Hello beauitful. I'm glad you want better for yourself. God will bless you. My prayers are debt free , great job YOU will find favor , you receive love and love your self. You can do IT!

  • ThatLadyDray
    ThatLadyDray 4 months ago +1

    "She wasn't raised. She grew up around family." 😥 I wasn't ready for her to speak on MY life bcuz that's it RIGHT there. NOT raised, grew up. Chile...

  • Daizy Andere
    Daizy Andere 4 months ago +1

    So many people grow up in families they are not raised

  • GodsChild B4TheWomb
    GodsChild B4TheWomb 4 months ago +8

    😣 I used to take a shaving razor and slide it down my dry skin as hard as I could until I started bleeding for some reason the sight of the blood made me feel a little better just a little better until literally scraping/cutting the skin from my body weren't enough anymore I wanted out of this world immediately
    so I thought why not take 38 pills to actually kill myself so I did just that and @ the age of 19 I knew I wasn't going to be alive on this earth anymore and I took the 38 pills thinking it would be enough to my surprise way before waking up in the hospital that night God told Satan haven't I told you before 👊 you can't touch her life 🙌
    Cutting will indeed lead to a suicide ☹️
    when you wake up after getting your stomach pumped you can't really talk you can only look at whomever is standing by your bedside
    I unfortunately didn't have a childhood I was going through thing's adults should've been going through God allowed me to make it out wounded yes but I made it out safely and I often think if I had killed myself 🤔 certainly my five beautiful babies wouldn't be here 😍❤️❤️❤️💙💙

    • The Elegant Soapery
      The Elegant Soapery 4 months ago +1

      GodsChild B4TheWomb IKTR!!! Give God the all the glory and the praise!!! PREDESTINED is what you and I were called to be b4 the womb! God allows some things in our lives as he did Job and after Job was tested he was awarded double for his trouble the Bible says! If it had not been for the Lord on our side we would be dead yet God had a better plan! Now both you and I have testimonies praise God and we know what God can do!!! Amen thank you Jesus!

  • drenee65
    drenee65 4 months ago


  • Eric
    Eric 4 months ago +2

    I used to cut my arms and legs. Shamful that I was that depressed.

    • Carr Treadwelk
      Carr Treadwelk 4 months ago +1

      Hello sweetie. You are beautiful. The world is waiting for gift. Don't hurt yourself no more. God bless you. You are talented person. Forgive your self and others. Enjoy your life. Love you baby

    • Deshaydes S
      Deshaydes S 4 months ago +1

      @Eric you have a purpose and is needed on this earth. May you have continuous blessings.

    • Eric
      Eric 4 months ago +1

      @Deshaydes S: It was God, my Dad, therapy, and my associate minister at my church that help me out. Had it not been for my Dad seeing his son falling I would have lost my life.

    • Deshaydes S
      Deshaydes S 4 months ago +1

      Glad you pushed through.

  • J. Eti
    J. Eti 4 months ago


  • dorapierres
    dorapierres 4 months ago +1

    Is there a reason why this show only features black families??? Correct me if I'm wrong. I feel like that's all I see on here.

    • I'mBlack&I'mProud X
      I'mBlack&I'mProud X 4 months ago

      No. Look at past seasons, she has had white families on as well.

    • Alexander Garcia-Cornelius
      Alexander Garcia-Cornelius 4 months ago +1

      White women go to Dr. Phil. Some aren't ready for Iyanla lol

    • The Elegant Soapery
      The Elegant Soapery 4 months ago +1

      dorapierres I like that she try’s to reach out to her people who need it most. Other races don’t give a dang about the black race so thank God someone from our own race, our own culture is helping to give back and serve the community. This is her calling she is living out her God given purpose.

    • Max’im Beautii
      Max’im Beautii 4 months ago +5

      I also think it’s because she wants to show black people that getting help is ok. There’s a stigma in the both community with going to therapy & talking about your feeling

  • gigi cats
    gigi cats 4 months ago

    NO VOLUME. Why can't I hear so many of the videos I click on?!

  • Hey Stopthat
    Hey Stopthat 4 months ago +5

    I'm hoping my babies(neice and nephew don't developed these problems.) My heart breaks for them every time I think of thier early childhoods.

  • Shay
    Shay 4 months ago +93

    God has really gave Iyanla a gift with not just speaking, but connecting to what's really going on. The root! When she speaks you really get it, hits you in your soul.

    • Pulsar1984
      Pulsar1984 4 months ago +1

      It’s scary as F! I feel so attacked, and personally judged by her! And, I’m not even in the room!!!! She’s so good at her job!!!!!

    • The Elegant Soapery
      The Elegant Soapery 4 months ago +6

      Shay Clay Amen sista she is a gifted woman living out her PURPOSE!!! Serving others!

  • Lost
    Lost 4 months ago +8

    Watching this show I’m happy that my dream of being a psychologist will soon come true. Like fr I’ve always wanted to be one to help young black children and other POC who are not aware or don’t think that black children can suffer from mental illness. It’s not talked about and it’s dismissed a lot and it hurts because there’s children really suffering

    • Carr Treadwelk
      Carr Treadwelk 4 months ago

      Yes. The world need YOU! May God bless you with wisdom! Don't forget to find love for yorself away from work! My prayers you are debt free , find a job, find love and Jesus is wisdom and peace.

  • Jm j
    Jm j 4 months ago +3

    Iyanla be hitting you in your core. Make any man cry

  • Tyesha Myers
    Tyesha Myers 4 months ago +6

    Auntie is very powerful that’s why I love watching her show

    NATALIE HARRIS 4 months ago


  • Lilease
    Lilease 4 months ago +4

    I'm not sure why folks can watch episodes of black people being crackheads but have a problem with watching 12 Years A Slave. If you can see the learning value in this then why cant we have and support more slavery movies/shows.

    • Lilease
      Lilease 4 months ago

      @Ripley1156 I'm dead serous

    • Ripley1156
      Ripley1156 4 months ago

      Trampling of the Weeds please tell me you’re joking.

  • Kerry Larry
    Kerry Larry 4 months ago +3

    Omg blks never pay attention to their children at all the drugs get to them and they brian be gone. Our Community needs a healing because this is very very sad. She could have killed herself and not one of them seen anything the drugs takes control of the mind.

    • thepatshowonwp
      thepatshowonwp 4 months ago +3

      NO DRUG ADDICT OF ANY RACE WILL TAKE CARE OF A CHILD. NOT ONE. You're starting off stupid with this blanket statement.

  • ahliyah keitt
    ahliyah keitt 4 months ago


  • Pamela R
    Pamela R 4 months ago +3

    I’m kind of confused, is this the mother and two kids?! Is the man and the lady in the center his wife?! Help me Jesus!🤦🏾‍♀️

    • Pamela R
      Pamela R 4 months ago

      Sabrina Valenzuela Thank you!

    • healed2011
      healed2011 4 months ago +2

      Sabrina Valenzuela The man is the girl’s father.

    • Sabrina Valenzuela
      Sabrina Valenzuela 4 months ago +1

      Although the episode hasn’t aired yet, from what I gathered from the description box, the lady in the middle - (in the dark fuchsia colored shirt) - is the aunt to the young girl they referenced who cuts herself, and they two individuals along side of her, are the little girl’s grandparents.

  • Queen Mercy
    Queen Mercy 4 months ago


  • Mrs. NickyBayBay
    Mrs. NickyBayBay 4 months ago +41

    Is it me or do the lady in the middle seem like she think it's a game or not taking it serious, like she has a smirk almost 🤔😒

    • The Elegant Soapery
      The Elegant Soapery 4 months ago +1

      Mrs. NickyBayBay Thank you same to you 😉

    • Mrs. NickyBayBay
      Mrs. NickyBayBay 4 months ago +1

      @The Elegant Soapery
      No problem thanks for sharing have a blessed day

    • The Elegant Soapery
      The Elegant Soapery 4 months ago +2

      Mrs. NickyBayBay I did notice the question wasn’t trying to make it personal I just wanted to share with readers how easy it can be to misjudge as I have done in the past. The Holy Spirit stopped me in my tracks because of looking at someone thinking they were something that was not true just because of the way they looked. He spoke to me that I was judging. So I just wanted to share my experience. Whether it be a question or a statement the message from God is we are judging others just by the way they look. And it may not be that way at all. Sorry if my message offended you it was not my intention to do so.

    • Mrs. NickyBayBay
      Mrs. NickyBayBay 4 months ago +3

      @The Elegant Soapery
      You did read the part where it was a question or you didn't bother to acknowledge that part🤔

    • The Elegant Soapery
      The Elegant Soapery 4 months ago +2

      Mrs. NickyBayBay looks are deceiving and jumping to conclusions are judgemental. God made me aware of this when I judged someone by looks. We have to be careful how we see people so we aren’t looked at in the same way.🥰

  • hersupreme
    hersupreme 4 months ago

    smh love & peace to this family. you can get over this, as a former cutter

  • New Level Mindset
    New Level Mindset 4 months ago

    😮🙌 IYANLA!!!

  • Happy Day
    Happy Day 4 months ago +5

    That girl needs the grace of God and all of her angels to save her. Because that family is a waste-o-time.

  • luv_monay
    luv_monay 4 months ago +2

    How could this possibly get a thumbs down?!?

  • Aisha Mai
    Aisha Mai 4 months ago +11

    Iyanla I love you. I relate to some of these stories so much. It's crazy how many of us are walking around not knowing our purpose because of how our beginnings started. Oh I thank you Jesus so much for saving my heart.

    • OWN
      OWN  4 months ago

      Thank you for your kind comment, Aisha. We're so glad you enjoy. For more Iyanla Fix My Life, click here: bit.ly/rtu85rd

      OWN ~ Molly

  • braceface 1514
    braceface 1514 4 months ago +5

    dang i related to some of what that young woman is going through

  • braceface 1514
    braceface 1514 4 months ago +199

    “she wasn’t raised, she grew up among family” what a word😭💯

  • Not At This Time
    Not At This Time 4 months ago +72

    Dollars to Donuts they spent more time planning barbeques and family gatherings than they spent trying to understand why Karla is the way she is. I see no LOVE in these stone-faced people. I said time and time again, babies in the womb KNOW the type of environment they'll be raised in because they FEEL and HEAR their mother's arguments, pain, and who says what around them -- while they're in the womb.

    • Not At This Time
      Not At This Time 4 months ago

      @Jasmine Valiente Your insight is on point and I believe you. It's rare speaking with someone on TVclip who know what they're talking about, so I appreciate your intelligence. Babies these days are born frowning and with attitudes because they're stressed out feeling and hearing their mother's pain and disappointments and being in undesirable environments. Oppressive behaviors are embedded in their souls while they're growing in the womb.
      Look at these babies faces:

    • Jasmine Valiente
      Jasmine Valiente 4 months ago

      @Not At This Time you're speaking facts that trauma is engrained in their dna they can heal but the scars are there

    • Jasmine Valiente
      Jasmine Valiente 4 months ago +1

      That's a fact look up epigenetics. Black babies are born with higher levels of cortisol the stress hormone than other races. Meanwhile trauma is literally inherited it changes your dna structure. We have generational trauma from slavery probably before, stress from in the womb making mental health issues before even being born. It's so important to heal your body before pregnancy and protect your wombs energy after.

    • Not At This Time
      Not At This Time 4 months ago +1

      @Ernestine Morrison My point is elders create the tone in families and most family members follow that tone. The grandmother created the dysfunction when (1) she sold drugs and (2) in a place where her children should've been safe - home. That's over with - got it. But, the grandmother didn't stop the animosity the family had against Karla. Sounds like she chimed in. The grandmother should've rallied family together and pushed for let's forgive, move on, and HELP Karla -- not do and say things to make her feel so bad about herself that she cut her wrists.
      I see you have "Champagne and Reefer" in your playlist, so YOUr question didn't surprise me.

    • Ernestine Morrison
      Ernestine Morrison 4 months ago

      @Not At This Time when she should be asking "what's wrong with me? how did I learn to make the choices I made?" When we point one finger at another, remember, there are 3 pointing back at us. All change begins with self.

  • Danielle sierra
    Danielle sierra 4 months ago +1

    Whewww my heart can’t take it