Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels The Best Lines


Comments • 1 016

  • luke bee
    luke bee 17 hours ago

    "I'll find you!" "What is this? Fucking hide and seek?" Brilliant.....!

  • Dan Thomas
    Dan Thomas 4 days ago

    "What the fuck do we know about antiques, mate?"

  • Tom Senior
    Tom Senior 5 days ago

    What is that it's my Bren gun ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป

  • stnicholas54
    stnicholas54 7 days ago

    No good standing there like one o'clock half-struck !

  • Wayne Holmes
    Wayne Holmes 8 days ago

    Excuse me. Can you turn that t.v. down?...................................No!!

    2GRAMSOVCOKE 9 days ago

    yo no you fucking know JHON.

    2GRAMSOVCOKE 9 days ago


    2GRAMSOVCOKE 9 days ago


  • gms77777
    gms77777 11 days ago

    You sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeggggg

  • have you got a warrant officer

    Ha ha jakey I was in Walton with jake he was bad for the crack in real life funny fella though .....you get the fucken guns

  • Bryan McKinney
    Bryan McKinney 13 days ago

    It's me Bringo...

  • Luis Vico
    Luis Vico 14 days ago

    06:24 to 06:38 ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Loco NoiA
    Loco NoiA 15 days ago

    Definately in my top 10

  • Raul Moatdrid
    Raul Moatdrid 18 days ago

    The shadow

  • BlueMonk25
    BlueMonk25 19 days ago

    One of the greatest films of all time!

  • djcandle
    djcandle 19 days ago

    "Fucking Northern Monkeys... I hate these fucking southern fairies ..." genius

  • Aneesh Wagle
    Aneesh Wagle 23 days ago

    ' he orders an aristotle of the most ping-pong titly in the nuclear sub'....never gets old

  • Jamie B
    Jamie B 23 days ago

    This bothered me that it wasn't in chronological order ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • mark nbris
    mark nbris 24 days ago

    Shotguns - yea that's right, guns that fire shots! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†

  • Lord Belcher IV
    Lord Belcher IV 25 days ago

    Less gay than Narcos!

  • Lord Belcher IV
    Lord Belcher IV 25 days ago


  • RMoRTanner
    RMoRTanner 26 days ago

    The Harry heart attack comment by Chris to JD wasn't in the movie.
    Also the scene with Barry yelling after they sold the guns, there is an extra line here that was excluded from the movie

  • GBPaddling
    GBPaddling 29 days ago

    Unndredd an' twenny kwid for this ayrcut.........

  • Justin Garcia
    Justin Garcia Month ago

    Cuz im not Fucking laughing NIkoLASS

  • Jimmy Kray
    Jimmy Kray Month ago

    Lock Stock or Snatch??

  • James Johnston
    James Johnston Month ago

    you may enlighten me

  • Elad A
    Elad A Month ago

    7:48 best line
    This movie work of art

  • J Morris
    J Morris Month ago

    Guns for show, knives for a pro

  • saliday
    saliday Month ago


  • Jamie B
    Jamie B Month ago

    Going to have to cancel my subscription to arseticklersfaggotsfanclub ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Alex Scott
    Alex Scott Month ago

    What the fook do we know about ANtiques mate

  • ZeMovinPixxle
    ZeMovinPixxle Month ago

    the best lines? you mean all of em?

  • temzei K
    temzei K Month ago

    Ending song name plez anyone know

  • Shark taiga
    Shark taiga Month ago

    Put ya seat belt on LOL.

  • Kimmo Laine
    Kimmo Laine Month ago +1

    I asked you to give me a refreshing drink. I wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest?

  • Charles Ferdinand
    Charles Ferdinand 2 months ago +1

    Every fucking movie from Guy Ritchie looks and feels exactly the fucking same, like a shitty attempt to emulate Martin Scorssese and Tarantino with Michael Bay's stupid senseless "action"; it was entertaining at the beginning with its stupid intertwined storylines, but after several movies that are exactly the same fucking thing it's getting old.

  • Dr. Madcap Rx
    Dr. Madcap Rx 2 months ago

    We seriously need more European Crime Films & more Directors like Guy Ritchie.

  • Vรญctor Hugo Randon Garcia

    The line "I hate those southern fairies" is a must.

  • ImGonnaGoGetTheShineboxGetTheShinebox

    "He's a funny lookin fucker, I know, but you gotta look past the hair and the cute cuddly thing"

  • Nautilus1972
    Nautilus1972 2 months ago

    Excuse me, can you turn the tv down?
    I fucking hate traffic wardens.
    This is hardly stunning dialogue. In fact, this dialogue is all bollocks.

  • ZadfrackGlutz Zesozose
    ZadfrackGlutz Zesozose 2 months ago

    You got to go beeeerning people's feet, whatswrongwithyeh?

  • willwhite007
    willwhite007 2 months ago

    "Shotguns.... You mean like guns that fire shots ?" Gets me every time. Such a great movie.

  • kris huckle
    kris huckle 2 months ago +1

    Fuckin scouce cunts.

  • M squared
    M squared 2 months ago

    if the milk turns out to be sour i ain't the kind of pussy to drink it

  • ludicrous speed
    ludicrous speed 2 months ago

    "It's me brengun"

  • Roy Perkins
    Roy Perkins 2 months ago

    Beaten to death with a giant black rubber dildo!Haha ha ha ha ha
    You got to love that British sense of humor!

  • ashley richards
    ashley richards 2 months ago

    Britain summed up in one movie

  • James Gaskell
    James Gaskell 2 months ago +1

    "now its turning into a bad day in bosnia"

  • SimplyLimbo
    SimplyLimbo 2 months ago

    I laughed so hard when they entered that house and the little one says:" What are you doing ?
    Him:" I try to find out where THEY KEEP THEIR MONEY !
    little one: Dont you see they have no money ? They cant even buy new furniture"

  • N Ed
    N Ed 2 months ago

    "Every time we do a job you have to go burning people's feet. What's wrong with yer!?"

  • Imad
    Imad 2 months ago

    " There is one more thing, it's been emotional "

  • tommy k
    tommy k 2 months ago

    A great movie

  • KidSixXx
    KidSixXx 2 months ago

    Now that was seen as a pleasant way ta go.

  • richard camp
    richard camp 3 months ago

    One of the greatest movies of all time.

  • J-F Bradley
    J-F Bradley 3 months ago


  • AxCYeR
    AxCYeR 3 months ago

    please guy ritchie make another one like this :D

  • Made in England
    Made in England 3 months ago

    Lenny McLean

  • Kareem Abdullah
    Kareem Abdullah 3 months ago +1

    This is one of my favorite movies of all time! This, Rocknrolla and Snatch! Good job Guy Ritchie!

  • S S
    S S 3 months ago

    he spent ยฃ220 on his hair :') northern monkey :')

  • LynzOOO
    LynzOOO 3 months ago +1

    Well I'm not laughing NIKOOLASSS

  • david johnson
    david johnson 3 months ago

    Best movie ever made

  • Nakoruru The Extra Terrestrial

    British gangsters do it properly.
    Takes me back to my days as a drug dealer... Crazy times! Didn't think I'd end up teetotal, vegan Buddhist and a cyclist ... Although I did have an inkling I was gay considering I was a tomboy and crushed on girls.

  • Mike Zak
    Mike Zak 3 months ago

    The best of lock stock n 2 smoking barrels is the movie itself

  • Shad ow
    Shad ow 3 months ago

    Was a good movie back in the day ..but dated badly and years later is seen for what it was a load of scene sketches poorly stitched together with to much Mockney going on ...why no lock stock 2 ? ...exactly my point.

  • FreshChalk
    FreshChalk 3 months ago

    Its a deal, Its a steal. Its sale of the fucking century

  • Gaz C
    Gaz C 3 months ago

    these are not stolen just not paid for and ya cant get them agen coz they changed the locks hahaha

  • plumlogan
    plumlogan 3 months ago

    Wut av u come as
    Cupid, stupid

  • shaun ozzyoz
    shaun ozzyoz 3 months ago


  • Djerb Erjer
    Djerb Erjer 3 months ago

    this has aged badly

  • delphine marriott
    delphine marriott 3 months ago

    11:13 Heard this is a dubstep tune once but I forgot which one.

  • eviltack
    eviltack 3 months ago

    Only one missing is " Plamks of wood I'm workin' wit' fucking planks of wood!."

  • Silver Fox
    Silver Fox 4 months ago

    Guy Richie. Return to your routes brother !!!!!! Make some money!!

  • Drumgol
    Drumgol 4 months ago

    Chill Tanis, itโ€™s me...Charlie knows itโ€™s me

  • Ali yildiz
    Ali yildiz 4 months ago

    fooking ew john!

  • Samurai Hardware
    Samurai Hardware 4 months ago

    RIP Len.

  • Sunny Attias
    Sunny Attias 4 months ago

    You could fall in love with an orangutan in that

  • Suzy Siviter
    Suzy Siviter 4 months ago

    "If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kind of pussy to drink it"

  • Suzy Siviter
    Suzy Siviter 4 months ago

    Great British humour, A classic and greatly underrated.

  • Tekken20 Iron Film
    Tekken20 Iron Film 4 months ago

    This flick did more for the UK then any royal, ambassador or celebrity. Needs to be hall of famed, heritaged, lauded...the whole lot. Was my manual to understanding you, luv ya.

  • Funkymonkeypimps
    Funkymonkeypimps 4 months ago

    Hortifuckinculturist! Ha ha ha

  • Super Mitch Productions

    OI! You use language like that again son, you'll wish you hadn't!

  • Dean Kumar DK
    Dean Kumar DK 4 months ago

    let me feel the fibre of your fabric. lol

  • Greedy Soul
    Greedy Soul 4 months ago +1

    As You Were โ˜˜๏ธ

  • Trev smith
    Trev smith 4 months ago

    20 year anniversary this year and it still makes me laugh. Legendary ๐Ÿคก

  • Djseandu68
    Djseandu68 4 months ago

    You what...

  • Dwi Bagus Ramadhan
    Dwi Bagus Ramadhan 5 months ago

    I love how fat tom got the ideas of arse tickle faggots fan club outta nowhere and the darkest side of soap when he's given the idea to use knives instead guns

  • nastro1983
    nastro1983 5 months ago

    What about the Irish doorman? Or the part Iโ€™ve got 100000 pieces of paper with the queens head on that whole scene is good

  • Hazey Glow
    Hazey Glow 5 months ago


  • PhantomZO9
    PhantomZO9 5 months ago +1

    ef you don wanna be canton the fingers you aven got! Most gangsta shit

  • KL Daly
    KL Daly 5 months ago

    anybody else catching themselves thinking theyre watching "sntatch"?

  • Conn Moss
    Conn Moss 5 months ago

    shit ive been shot!
    i dont fucking believe this can everyone stop getting shot
    best line ever

  • laid back attitude
    laid back attitude 5 months ago

    i worked in a cocktail bar for years and absolutley loved that line" whats that?....a cocktail.. you asked for a cocktail...... no i asked you to give me a refreshing drink, wasn't expecting a f**cking rainforest.! you can fall in love with an Orangutan in that !!

  • Simon Willis
    Simon Willis 5 months ago

    I fuckin hate these southern fairies

  • K Nazir Ingram
    K Nazir Ingram 5 months ago

    "shotguns! You mean guns that fire shots!" "Oh you must be the brains..."

  • LastCynicStanding
    LastCynicStanding 5 months ago

    Thank you for translating from English to English.
    I did not know lymies called their chest a bird's nest.
    That sounds like a boxing term.

  • Martin 77
    Martin 77 5 months ago

    Shotguns,what like guns that fire shots? O you must be the brains then.................lol Class!!

  • Martin 77
    Martin 77 5 months ago

    Still loving this film 20yrs on.

  • Riley Simpson
    Riley Simpson 5 months ago

    No money no weed

  • georgie peorgie
    georgie peorgie 6 months ago +1

    how many 15 inch black cocks did Harry have on his table?

  • catothewiser
    catothewiser 6 months ago

    I forget how good this movie is sometimes.