Legal Immigration: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

  • Published on Sep 16, 2019
  • John Oliver explains how our legal immigration system works, and how it often doesn’t.
    Connect with Last Week Tonight online...
    Subscribe to the Last Week Tonight TVclip channel for more almost news as it almost happens:
    Find Last Week Tonight on Facebook like your mom would: lastweektonight
    Follow us on Twitter for news about jokes and jokes about news: lastweektonight
    Visit our official site for all that other stuff at once:
  • EntertainmentEntertainment

Comments • 16 365

  • Seth
    Seth 10 hours ago

    15:00 She literally tells him her family was killed and he’s like where are they now? 😣

  • Ratigan2
    Ratigan2 19 hours ago

    *"Legal. Good. Illegal. Bad."*


    “I do not like that man Ted Cruz,
    I do not like him in the news,
    I do not like what he just said,
    I do not like his boxy head,
    I do not like him wearing glasses,
    I do not like him kissing arses,
    I wish he'd never get one vote,
    That man Ted Cruz can lick my scrotes”

    John, you're my hero...

  • Kublai Khan
    Kublai Khan 19 hours ago

    Imagine you came to this country when you were in elementary school - five years later, after your parents became citizen (if), then they sponsored someone for visa. Now that child has grown up, spent half of their lives already, and that sponsored person hasn't received their visa yet - some 30 plus years later. Now, when that sponsored person do get it, they are in their late 60's, what do you think will happen? Not only they will be unable to contribute, but they are spending whatever little money left to get here is all for nothing. That is your legal immigration process currently.

  • DaveyTheDJ
    DaveyTheDJ Day ago

    Well if "We The People's country is full well why don't We The People deport the Trump family!

  • Mitch Brock
    Mitch Brock Day ago


    • Cioda
      Cioda 11 hours ago

      1. Because its still better than things that THEY ARE FLEEING! This isnt rocket science.
      2. Shut up about his accent. Its fine.

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Day ago
    time for a revolt and go boudicca on their asses
    time to wake up the tribes ; time to wake up the knights . time to wake up ; JUST TIME TO TAKE BACK OUR LANDS and TIME TO GO TO WAR
    Min Warb Naseu
    Wilr Made Thaim
    I Bormotha Hauni
    Hu War
    Hu War Opkam Har a Hit Lot
    Got Nafiskr Orf
    Auim Suimade
    Foki Afa Galande
    What am I supposed to do
    If I want to talk about peace and understanding
    But you only understand the language of the sword
    What if I want to make you understand that the path you chose leads to downfall
    But you only understand the language of the sword
    What if I want to tell you to leave me and my beloved ones in peace
    But you only understand the language of the sword
    I let the blade do the talking...
    So my tongue shall become iron
    And my words the mighty roar of war
    Revealing my divine anger´s arrow shall strike
    All action for the good of all
    I see my reflection in your eyes
    But my new age has just begun
    The sword is soft
    In the fire of the furnace
    It hungers to be hit
    And wants to have a hundred sisters
    In the coldest state of their existence
    They may dance the maddest
    In the morass of the red rain
    Beloved brother enemy
    I sing my sword song for you
    The lullaby of obliteration
    So I can wake up with a smile
    And bliss in my heart
    And bliss in my heart
    And bliss in my heart
    Coexistence, Conflict, combat
    Devastation, regeneration, transformation
    That is the best I can do for you
    I see a grey gloom on the horizon
    That promises a powerful sun to rise
    To melt away all moons
    It will make the old fires of purification
    Look like dying embers
    Look like dying embers
    Look like dying embers
    Min Warb Naseu
    Wilr Made Thaim
    I Bormotha Hauni
    Hu War
    Hu War Opkam Har a Hit Lot
    Got Nafiskr Orf
    Auim Suimade
    Foki Afa Galande
    Hu War
    Hu War Opkam Har a Hit Lot

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Day ago

    paying for immigration in your country and for europe and they give it to immigrants and they spend it tadaaaaa the mythe of "economic growth " and " buying power "; the only question for who ? and it isnt us

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Day ago

    forced neighborhoods
    un migration replace

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Day ago

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Day ago

    laten we voorkomen dat de geschiedenis zich herhaalt
    lets prevent history from repeating itself

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Day ago

    They’re not happy in Gaza.
    They’re not happy in Egypt.
    They’re not happy in Libya.
    They’re not happy in Morocco.
    They’re not happy in Iran.
    They’re not happy in Iraq.
    They’re not happy in Yemen.
    They’re not happy in Afghanistan.
    They’re not happy in Pakistan.
    They’re not happy in Syria.
    They’re not happy in Lebanon.
    They’re happy in Australia.
    They’re happy in Canada.
    They’re happy in England.
    They’re happy in France.
    They’re happy in Italy.
    They’re happy in Germany.
    They’re happy in Sweden.
    They’re happy in the USA.
    They’re happy in Norway.
    They’re happy in Holland.
    They’re happy in Denmark.
    Basically, they’re happy in every country that is not Muslim…and unhappy in every country that is!
    Not Islam.
    Not their leadership.
    Not themselves.
    THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE HAPPY IN! And then-wait for it!-they want to change those countries to be like….THE COUNTRIES THEY CAME FROM WHERE THEY WERE UNHAPPY!?

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Day ago


  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Day ago

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Day ago

    and around 3 mins 52 you see what they have planned with force if need be

  • Erik D.Cueva
    Erik D.Cueva 2 days ago

    My own dad told me he will hire two Mexicans instead of paying me a living wage.

  • Andrea Robyn
    Andrea Robyn 2 days ago

    People say they love legal immigration but endlessly criticize the types and routinely make it harder and harder for people to immigrate legally.

  • Isha Biswas
    Isha Biswas 2 days ago

    Oliver has an artist's fingers.

  • ThumperDelta Resistance

    Even to me it sounded like the woman speaking to the president said "they KEPT them" the first time she said it.

  • Daniel Embree
    Daniel Embree 3 days ago

    Aren’t we getting full?

  • Zara Rikan
    Zara Rikan 3 days ago

    BTS just got a free advertisement.

  • Unnamed Player
    Unnamed Player 3 days ago

    America: "Don't push kids to show any effort because it's stressing them! That's child abuse, sentenced to life in prison!"
    Also America: "The IQ of our country is plummeting!"

    ...and it cycles like so while occasionally a few lucky ones can immigrate because they had enough resources to survive the bureaucracy.

  • John O.
    John O. 4 days ago

    the only way someone could think Trump has good ideas about immigration is if they are-
    A) just as shitty as Trump
    B) Trump

  • Superman's billiger Klon

    Our Country is full is what German right wing/nazi parties say about immigration.
    I'll let you figure out the rest.
    Oh same with fake news media, right winged parties call it "Lügenpresse" (Lying Press)

    And many more similiarities.
    I truly think choosing between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump was a terrible decision... I just hope that he doesn't get reelected.
    Please America, don't vote for Trump a second time!

  • vilod
    vilod 4 days ago

    The audio is bad.

  • Insomnia NineThree
    Insomnia NineThree 4 days ago

    Melania has an autistic anchor baby

  • Insomnia NineThree
    Insomnia NineThree 4 days ago +1

    Why do all Indians speak English like that? 😂😂😂 so annoying

    • Avanti S
      Avanti S 2 days ago

      Insomnia NineThree different languages use different parts of their throat and tongue to make sounds. If you’ve grown up with pronouncing sounds in one way, it can be really hard to change it hence ‘accents’ (and of course pronunciation is different too). There’s some really good videos on it that explain phonetic sounds and linguistic pronounciation!

  • user unknown
    user unknown 4 days ago

    as an immigrant to Canada (federal Skilled Worker program), I'd like to point that middle class immigrants (especially those with families) who can choose normally won't choose USA. In comparison to Canada or Australia, USA simply doesn't have any permanent legal immigration options. For instance, Canadian federal immigration program requires you to score points to get over the threshold and pass language exams and if you do, you get permanent residence ("green card" like in USA) on your landing (within 3 months to be precise). Therefore, if you can pass those checks and exams, you sure are going to pick Canada over US, as you get security and guarantees of your status immediately on landing. Those who cannot pass these barriers would tend to pick USA.
    In the nutshell the difference is: Canada and Australia pick up skilled immigrants with families who know language, got education and professional skills. USA gets semi-random single guys. What USA can do is to introduce clear, strict federal immigration with points and exams available for anybody to apply, without any country quotas. Though it's a long term program, not a quick cash grab over low-qualification illegal aliens without any rights or protection - which seems to be the current USA immigration strategy (regardless what they say on TV).

    • user unknown
      user unknown 4 days ago

      oh, Canada federal immigration does have an income criteria (you should be able to show funds to support your family through first 6 months) and you will be less likely be admitted if you are burden to medical system, that is why medical tests are part of criteria to grant immigration visa.

  • 征夷大将軍坂上田村麻呂

    Hello 👋 l’m Japanese.
    I have a question. What’s ‘’green card” ?
    Could someone explain to me?

    • Stephen2462
      Stephen2462 4 days ago

      The wikipedia article does a pretty good job explaining it:

  • Stu Royce
    Stu Royce 4 days ago

    1. Europeans discover an already settled "America" and think it's pretty neat.
    2. They subsequently emigrate, displace the indigenous population, and bring all their family (along with a lot of folks who didn't get a choice in the matter...) with them.
    3. Around half a millennium later, unironically claim that illegal immigrants are bad and declare it full.
    Yeah I know, unironically isn't a proper word.

  • Akash B
    Akash B 4 days ago

    As indian I cant come to do my PhD

  • ScorpionZam
    ScorpionZam 4 days ago

    Are we overpopulated or not? Make up your damn minds

  • SneakySprinklez
    SneakySprinklez 5 days ago +6

    It’s so funny that he hates “chain migration” even though it was proposed by people who were basically racist and thought that they could keep out anyone who wasn’t white this way lmao

  • brandon lowery
    brandon lowery 5 days ago

    Okay let's look at it from a different angle we have veterans mentally ill people on the list could go on people that are already living here that don't have the support they need we do not need to worry about other people when we have people suffering here

    • Stephen2462
      Stephen2462 4 days ago +1

      Taking care of one group does not necessitate screwing the other.

  • mister mister
    mister mister 5 days ago

    Comparing to population of India (1.339Billion) and China (1.386Billion) to Mexico (129million) is ridiculous, with the immigration cap of 7% roughly 95 million each from India and China with only 9 million from, why is Mandarin or hindi not as common second language for the united states? I guess they can't just walk here.

    BUTTERCUP Jones 5 days ago +4

    When you're an ARMY and you see him mention BTS.
    Freak out yeah BTS!

    • Joyce Wang
      Joyce Wang 2 days ago

      omgSAME hahaha let me just get off topic for two seconds....lmao

  • Pino Dekoda
    Pino Dekoda 5 days ago

    I'd never immigrate in that shithole USA which exploited our Nikola Tesla. The only Ines Holding up the US are Black People, Asians and Latinos. As long they are Not the majority the US is a shithole. Just look what the fuck you have in the White House.

  • Squidicus Pastry’s

    God I would love to show this to my very trump loving Alabama history class but my teacher wouldn’t allow it for the fact of cussing which sucks

  • osmark86
    osmark86 5 days ago

    I remember thinking the US was the best place to live as a child/teen. As an adult I'm so damn happy I was born a Swede. Your country is full of a lot of wonderful people but it's a dog eat dog violent culture I wouldn't want to be part of. I hope you find your way again.

  • James Harris
    James Harris 5 days ago

    There is a question about the legal status of Trump's own wife, so much for legal immigration.

  • TheKrensada
    TheKrensada 5 days ago

    Look. Life isn't fair. Get over it. Rich people have the power, poor people have to be wage slaves. It's how the world works.

    • Cioda
      Cioda 11 hours ago

      So everyone should accept that and not try to fix that broken system?

  • TheGreatHeeroYuy
    TheGreatHeeroYuy 5 days ago +1

    Took 7 years for my family to be accepted for a green card, this was back in 2001. I can't imagine how long it takes now.

    • Cioda
      Cioda 11 hours ago

      @Daniel Embree Um. Why?

    • Daniel Embree
      Daniel Embree 3 days ago

      Hopefully you’re from Europe !

  • Iago Barreto
    Iago Barreto 5 days ago

    MEGA seems like a poor version of a nuremburg rally

  • Faisal
    Faisal 5 days ago

    I don't usually like John Oliver. But this segment was good.

  • dylan bellerose
    dylan bellerose 5 days ago

    U.S. immigration equals Mexican Joker, African Joker, and middle-eastern joker.

  • Myststorm
    Myststorm 5 days ago

    the us has an odd stance on immigration for a country populated by them

  • Mathias! HoloFoilVeryRare

    Holy shit.... orange man trying to put a lid on melting pot......

  • Dave Sundra
    Dave Sundra 5 days ago +1

    Brilliant segment ..

  • Cc Roberts
    Cc Roberts 5 days ago

    Why is this guy in the white allowed to giving such horrible misinformation! Smh

  • Not_My_Name
    Not_My_Name 5 days ago

    Breaking the law is bad, therefore illegal immigration is bad.

    • Cioda
      Cioda 11 hours ago

      @Not_My_Name So then trump should be removed for violating the emoluments clause. Which is in the constitution.

    • Not_My_Name
      Not_My_Name 4 days ago

      @Stephen2462 OK, great, then change the law? Meantime the law in place has to be enforced. Laws are black and white, despite how you may feel about it.

    • Stephen2462
      Stephen2462 4 days ago

      @Not_My_Name Nobody's arguing against enforcing the law (or rather the policy?) The argument is that the law/policy in question is impractical and should be changed.

    • Not_My_Name
      Not_My_Name 4 days ago

      @Stephen2462 No I agree that breaking the law is bad. Therefore should be enforced. If no laws are enforced then what good does it do to have any?

    • Stephen2462
      Stephen2462 4 days ago

      So you agree that Conservarives' immigration policy, which encourages illegal immigration, is also bad?

  • nedstudt
    nedstudt 5 days ago

    My ancestors fought in the US revolution and I'm still waiting 8 months to bring my Filipina wife of 10 years back to the US.

  • Emmanuel
    Emmanuel 5 days ago

    Europeans bashing the US over here using TVclip, and watching an American TV show. How funny.

  • Evenios
    Evenios 6 days ago

    yeah thats the problem its fucking near impossible to become a us citizen......but considering our fucked up politics of late.. my suggestion? dont

  • J0KeZ
    J0KeZ 6 days ago

    I want the same joint John had before shouting “Chain Migration”. God that was ABSOLUTE GOLD.

  • MeatyTickle
    MeatyTickle 6 days ago

    It's a different world. The U.S. isn't a free-for-all anymore. I'm American and I'd love to get the hell out of here but its incredibly difficult to enter another first world country without being a refugee or incredibly rich and/or knows somebody. It is so insulting to see how entitled some people are about lax rules on immigration. Trump is a douche and is way over the top with his opinions but I'm not far left or far right, I'm just a struggling white American male who has had opportunities given to others who aren't even citizens. Many got scholarships for full rides and im still paying off my 100k$ loan. They got to go to pre and post graduate school for free. How is that fair? I had a 3.9 gpa and didn't get any meaningful assitance like they did. My parents are not wealthy and they didn't help with a single red cent. And every time i turn on the tv or read the paper I have to see these entitled people crying about how many injustices they have to endure. Life is unfair for everybody. Take accountability for yourself.

  • MRiGOThim
    MRiGOThim 6 days ago

    The Bottomless Pinocchio😂🤣

  • MRiGOThim
    MRiGOThim 6 days ago

    Woman thinkin the fuq😂🤣

  • MRiGOThim
    MRiGOThim 6 days ago +35

    “That man Ted Cruz can lick my scrote”😂🤣

  • n 242424
    n 242424 6 days ago


  • Artur
    Artur 6 days ago

    I agree with John big time! Immigrating legally is complicated and tedious and takes too long. Doing it illegally is the only way to go.
    It's the same as with getting rich... like imagine studying hard for years, attending and paying a fortune for a university, working your arse off for free as a trainee... FUCKING TEDIOUS. It's so much better just to steal from other people! If they're being racist and shit about it, then hurt them. Simples. So much easier.
    Also, relationshits are... complicated. I mean, it's even a status on Facebook, ffs. So much easier and cheaper to just rape when you feel the urge!
    Thanks John Olivier.

  • Dawadson Surong
    Dawadson Surong 6 days ago

    How is that Trump or America's problem?? Hundreds of thousands were killed by Isis so according to you all their surviving families should migrate to America?