How To Turn Anxiety Into Charisma

  • Published on Jun 10, 2019
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    After watching an interview on Jimmy Fallon where Sophie Turner comes across as very charismatic, I started looking into doing a breakdown on her. I was surprised to find that she actually says she struggles in social situations.
    On the second watch through, I noticed that hints of nervousness were present in that first Jimmy Fallon interview. So in this video, we’re going to learn what it seems Sophie has learned: how to turn anxiety, shyness, and nervousness into charisma.

    4:34 - Strategy #1: Active listening
    4:50 - Strategy #2: Mirroring
    6:00 - Strategy #3: Elaborate on someone else’s idea
    6:31 - Strategy #4: Make fun of your own shyness
    #SophieTurner #CharismaOnCommand

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Comments • 2 899

  • Charisma on Command
    Charisma on Command  Month ago +372

    Hey everyone, we have started a podcast that you can be a part of!
    If you have an interesting question for Ben and I, please comment it on our most recent podcast episode, along with your name (if you want). In two weeks, we will respond to our favorite questions and shout you out :-).

    • coldflame
      coldflame 19 days ago

      @5dope I am your dearest.

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      5dope 19 days ago

      @coldflame who are you?

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      coldflame 19 days ago

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    • 5dope
      5dope 19 days ago +1

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    • coldflame
      coldflame 19 days ago

      @5dope Hey honeybunch, Your very special milKKK is ready and it'll cure you.

  • Galliano Marr
    Galliano Marr Day ago

    Repetition and mirroring is so cool

  • Erikson Dos Santos

    The fact that we're similar, Sophie and I, makes me want to actually start watching Game of Thrones.

  • She's in the Rain
    She's in the Rain 2 days ago

    I’m not sure if this is going to work for me. I’d overthinking the whole situation every time enough to lose track of what I was trying to do in the first place.

  • Timtomtann
    Timtomtann 4 days ago +2

    You should do a variation where it’s group settings where you’re not being directly asked questions but have to actively participate

  • seuny
    seuny 6 days ago +1

    All this highlights how great Sophie is handling anxiety in the media. Any actual actionable steps......, it's cute to repeat someone on a 5 min segment when there's a camera but in a social setting I can't imagine people not giving me an even stranger look.

  • Jake
    Jake 6 days ago

    You should do a video on how Bryan Callen makes other comedians funnier

  • Magique John-stoned
    Magique John-stoned 6 days ago

    Can you do Kawhi Leonard? I mean, if you know him of course.

  • Sabrina
    Sabrina 6 days ago +1

    Why was this literally in the secrets of a highly effective teenager book?

  • Stephen Ray
    Stephen Ray 7 days ago

    Do a video on Eric Andre

  • hardToSignUpHere
    hardToSignUpHere 7 days ago

    Trying to see a clip that could actually confirm that she is shy

  • SemperFiMarine0311
    SemperFiMarine0311 8 days ago

    Love your videos man. But famous people aren't good examples. If your famous people are automatically going to like you because subconsciously they realize everyone else likes you. 99% of people are followers. If these people did the same thing but weren't famous, they wouldn't get near as much recognition.

  • JKroni171
    JKroni171 8 days ago

    I just discovered your channel and I really enjoy your content, it really talks to me. I usually don't even write comments, but right now I feel confident to do so. Thank you :)

  • Ghizlane Ben
    Ghizlane Ben 8 days ago

    I don’t think anyone who ACTUALLY has anxiety can be an actor or do half the things Sophie’s done.

  • Michael Ferrini
    Michael Ferrini 9 days ago +1

    You should do one on logic especially when he had an anxiety attack during an interview

  • Samuel Bloom
    Samuel Bloom 9 days ago

    How can I read someone who has gotten very good at hiding there emotions and is afraid to show them to anyone because they're an anxious type

  • Insh Un
    Insh Un 9 days ago

    downgrading yourself and making people feel good about themselves is not a charisma. it's just about being likable. clickbait much.

  • TheShadowOfMadness
    TheShadowOfMadness 10 days ago +1

    Video:How To Turn Anxiety Into Charisma
    Me: Great! This is just what I needed. You're done for now, anxiety!
    Video: You'll need high energy
    Anxiety: Hey depression, wanna help me out here?
    Depression: Here's barely enough energy to get out of bed without falling to the floor
    Anxiety: Yay teamwork!

  • Zara Fatima
    Zara Fatima 10 days ago

    Thèse videos seem to be made for me

  • Lethal Beauty
    Lethal Beauty 10 days ago

    Sophie Turner looks like a blond version of Shailene Woodley

  • erwin coplo
    erwin coplo 11 days ago

    If i would mirroring people they will kill me eventually

  • sooa loves jisung
    sooa loves jisung 11 days ago

    ugh i love her :')

  • Merrick BATMAN McFarling
    Merrick BATMAN McFarling 11 days ago +1

    2:31 “the biggest movie; dark Phoenix” BAWAGAHAHAGAHAHA WHAT

    • Insh Un
      Insh Un 9 days ago

      it's not as successful as other x-men movies but still a big one.

    • ZayaJ
      ZayaJ 10 days ago

      An attempt to make Sophie feel even more important 🤷‍♂️

  • peldon marsh
    peldon marsh 11 days ago

    You're missing the key point; traits like vulnerability and admitting to butterflies in your stomach and depression and expressing emotions are charismatic in women and off putting in men in most situations. Maybe in Hollywood or rich circles of large cities this isn't the case, but that's terrible advice for the awkward construction or restaurant worker

  • Light
    Light 11 days ago

    Next video: "How to turn dying into charisma"

  • Yandipetal
    Yandipetal 11 days ago

    I needed this

  • Irian G.A.
    Irian G.A. 12 days ago

    Please please please. Anyone reading this, go get yourself a copy of Feeling Good. It is an absolute game changer.

  • Ayara 81
    Ayara 81 13 days ago

    Those Will Smith dance moves were sensational! 🤣

  • aurel
    aurel 13 days ago

    Can you do Aubrey Plaza?

  • ikid8810
    ikid8810 13 days ago

    Dude you are freaking awesome! Your content has seriously changed my life and i am extremely grateful!

  • Winter is coming
    Winter is coming 13 days ago +1

    I'm just an Alien trying to be human.

  • Ariadne
    Ariadne 13 days ago +4

    Me, still having ASD and too much social anxiety to apply simple techniques: presenting "how to turn charisma into anxiety"

  • Megan Wyatt
    Megan Wyatt 14 days ago

    Sophie is a typical pisces

  • Voile Noire
    Voile Noire 14 days ago

    Do what be hot?

  • TH3MS
    TH3MS 14 days ago

    she uses the same "ironic" and somewhat sarcastic extreme expressions Keanu Reeves uses. Because unless you fullheardly feel how you express you end up sounding fake. But, doing it this way you can get away with expressing yourself and at the same time sound legit. Since, you aren't actually bullshitting anyone because you express both energy and half half seriousness about the hole thing, which in these cases actually is alot closer to how you actually feel about the hole thing than it would by expressing it in a fakey energetic way.

  • borri byunambomba
    borri byunambomba 14 days ago +1

    Turn anxiety to charismatic
    Being sloth

  • DahrkMezalf
    DahrkMezalf 14 days ago +1

    I absolutely love your videos.
    I feel like I drew the lucky card when it comes to understanding social interactions, but I see far too often people who aren't comfortable with themselves or can't read an audience to save their life.
    Especially in a world that emphasizes digital communication over verbal, it's great that y'all are here to help!

  • Joshua Savage
    Joshua Savage 14 days ago

    I wish she wouldn't have ruined xmen

  • NBD null
    NBD null 15 days ago


  • The Vex
    The Vex 15 days ago

    Anyone else Anxious watching this?

  • Granger Lodestar
    Granger Lodestar 15 days ago +4

    I wanna be an actor, but the thought of it makes me shake and retreat to my happy corner, shutting myself off from the world and just...observing. I don't think I'll even do this correctly (what you explained in the video). One of my biggest fears is failure. I don't like the feeling of being embarrassed.

    • Granger Lodestar
      Granger Lodestar 8 days ago

      @MC Sorry same

    • MC Sorry
      MC Sorry 8 days ago +1

      I hate that feeling because I know the cure IS IN failure. It's like having to put yourself out there in order to get used to it. That thought alone terrifies me.

  • Swirlyapples
    Swirlyapples 15 days ago

    She’s a Pisces... it makes sense. I’m an Aries AND a Pisces and it’s very contradicting emotions I go through. On one side I can be very bold and direct and on another side I can easily become shy and withdrawn. Now with these defaults, being aware of them and constantly working on bettering yourself is what can cause for a healthy change of a better you to come about.

  • Ojeans
    Ojeans 15 days ago

    How to clickbait people into watching a doc about sophia whatever

  • Carmen Camden
    Carmen Camden 15 days ago

    This taught me A LOT about myself, and now that I can identify things I can work on changing them and improving my life through-out. Thank You!
    I'm having trouble identifying a related issue...
    I feel like I do fine when I'm approached and spoken to first, like; I can engage in a one-on-one conversation pretty well actually, even doing my part in keeping it continuous, but I'm absolutely paralyzed at initiating or speaking/being within groups.
    But my biggest concern is it feels like NO ONE wants to approach me, and I just don't know why.
    I have felt this for as long as I can remember, throughout high school, through out college days, young adult and still.
    I've tried to observe and reflect on my actions and reactions, but I'm not fully understanding where it's coming from. Maybe it's my insecurities, nervousness, shyness, MASSIVE eyes that's just hollering out every anxious emotion I have, maybe it's because I've experienced all this in a weird ass, hyper-judgemental & hyper-critical, small town, maybe it's the fact that I kind of like being laid back and observant and prefer an actual connection and stimulating topics over the need to gab incessantly, and I've heard maybe I'm intimidating? I just don't understand. /:
    if there's a video you've made about about the things we subconsciously do that repel people, orr anything that could help a link, a kind tip would be much appreciated ❤

  • The Noobest Girl
    The Noobest Girl 15 days ago +3

    Sophie is a legend

  • Levi Levi
    Levi Levi 16 days ago

    Easier said than done

  • Sofia Kalaidopoulou
    Sofia Kalaidopoulou 16 days ago

    We only need ONE friend

  • Vincent Burger
    Vincent Burger 16 days ago

    For my social anxiety disorder, working with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy didn't work at all. If it does for others, that's great, definitely keep using it.
    The only thing I've found that actually makes a permanent impact on it is to find areas of my life (mostly past experiences, for me) that create shame and to work through those.
    Radical self-acceptance and all that stuff.

  • House of farts
    House of farts 16 days ago +18

    1 active vulnerability and knowing how to handle convos
    2 mirroring
    3 elaborate on someones idea
    4 make fun of your own shyness

  • CodeCommand
    CodeCommand 16 days ago

    this is too complicated for an autist like me lol

  • Hossam Eldin Nasser
    Hossam Eldin Nasser 16 days ago

    can you please take a little breath between each sentence? even if it's my mother language I would not understand

  • Sarah Mackay
    Sarah Mackay 16 days ago

    Huh. I always thought it was weird how my family and friends say I am really good with people in spite of having extreme social anxiety, after watching this video it makes sense. I tend to employ these tactics often.

  • bluecali4na
    bluecali4na 16 days ago

    Doesn’t she drink and smoke too? That helps 😆

  • Yusuf Kennebrew
    Yusuf Kennebrew 16 days ago


  • StuUngar
    StuUngar 16 days ago

    I cant stand Sophie Turner. She ruined 2 franchises that I liked with her horrible acting.

  • Nusa Coleman
    Nusa Coleman 16 days ago

    So basically Soph' is amazing and quite more intelligent than she mostly leads on. My guess also has had mostly supportive people around and love as a kid and teen.

  • Eadyt87
    Eadyt87 16 days ago

    She ia absolutely gorgeous not a silly personality BS but her own facial features, blonde blue eyes, perfectly placed facial features just so beautiful, she is a type of a beauty that i can think as an angel.

  • vitamin yes
    vitamin yes 16 days ago +1

    lol i was embarrassed in class bc these two guys in my class told my teacher that i give them chocolates for them to stop saying "she has no friends" i laughed along but really i was literally crying inside

  • Infinity-Z
    Infinity-Z 16 days ago

    Sorry, I can't control myself in that way. How do people do it?

  • Arjoon Bessaye
    Arjoon Bessaye 17 days ago


  • embraceky
    embraceky 17 days ago +1

    Anxiety means always "feeling butteries". Everyday life is a struggle.

  • The Yute
    The Yute 17 days ago

    Sees title*
    Me: I Am Speed

  • Maurice St.Pierre
    Maurice St.Pierre 17 days ago

    The common denominator and everything he's talkin about deals with Attractive people being attractive makes you charismatic if you're unattractive you basically have to be a try-hard just to get people to notice you in the room I hate seeing bullshit like this it's so disingenuous just more classic beautiful people pretending to be humble in order to get more appreciation for being beautiful

  • nihilistman
    nihilistman 17 days ago +7

    Also, be extremely attractive if possible.

  • Ashley Mertens
    Ashley Mertens 17 days ago

    This is honestly so helpful !

  • Quest For Blue Skies
    Quest For Blue Skies 18 days ago +1

    Anxiety: Hey, I'm gonna use you as a stunt double.
    Charisma: you what now..

  • finsclapping
    finsclapping 18 days ago

    how I dealt with my depression: *I psychoanalysed myself and everyone around me untill I understood their behaviour completely.* From narcissistic personality disorder, to manics, to autists, to anxiety, jealousy and replaying childhood trauma, rationalisation and compartmentalisation, my own learned helplessness from having grown up with a severe stutter and a narcistic brother.
    Stuff I could always sense, I can now understand and manoeuvre around. I'm waaaaaaay happier now that I've achieved that.

  • Joni Leppänen
    Joni Leppänen 18 days ago

    Let's clear up some misconceptions.
    >Bret clearly didn't say what Carlos Maza did was OK.
    >Bret clearly said that it would be wise of us to extend our thoughts of free speech to private platforms.
    >Comedians may say provocative things and we may choose to ignore them. That being said, if they come to your doorstep and start harassing you, that goes too far.

  • Hasinaz Ahmad
    Hasinaz Ahmad 18 days ago +2

    You should do one on Dakota Johnson. She’s awkward, but adorably awkward.

  • OmegaPyron
    OmegaPyron 18 days ago

    Wait, she's blonde? Lol, redheds even exist in Hollywood? Maybe Jean Grey(s) were never miscast(s) after all...